Red Threads of Destiny
by yamada michiko
Summary: She had never understood what it was that brought her back to him, despite of their distance and her decisions. She had never been one to think about 'coincidence' and 'fate' after all. But after finding herself drawn to him again and again, Ayase Chihaya may be finally able to understand that she was bound to him, not by coincidence, but maybe even by Lady Fate herself...
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone. I'm back, and so quickly at that.

Haha.

Some of the characters I used before in TFAL (The First and Last for those who were first timers here,) will be appearing here again. Do check it out, if you haven't yet! *smile, smile*

This is not a sequel to my first story though. And I think you'll notice a recurring theme in my fics. I hope you don't tire of that, though, once you figure it out.

Thanks to everyone who left reviews for my last fic.

**Disclaimer: **I again, do not own Chihayafuru. The great Suetsugu-sensei does.

On to the story!~

* * *

**Red Threads of Destiny**

_**Now**_

* * *

The message from her best girlfriend Kana-chan had been simple but direct. _You promised me you'll be back this Monday, so you better be here as you've promised or I WILL DECK YOU TO THE NEXT DECADE._

Truthfully speaking, she was surprised that Kana-chan now knew how to threaten people, -and effectively at that. Kana-chan had always been the gentle girl they had known throughout high school who just about knew everything regarding whatever karuta card you ask of her, but she should have known she guessed, -because they already had gotten a taste of her fierce and scary side whenever the former karuta team of Mizusawa high school acted too ignorant of one card that was supposed to be important, in the least.

Her fists clenched unconsciously on her lap as she thought of the one game she had loved and the person who she had always admired who had decided to turn his back on her a year ago.

The pilot's voice came over the intercom announcing that they were about to land in Narita Airport in twenty minutes, and that they should fasten their seatbelts, first in Japanese, then in English. She was never one who had always followed instructions, but hey, she had to if she didn't want to experience the rough landing so badly.

Indeed, after the rough landing which just about rattled her jaw and every bone in her body, she was finally back in her home country. She made it past the stairs before she spotted her mother and father waving to her, and before she could react, she found herself engulfed in her mother's embrace.

She was crying, tears making a wet path down her cheeks. "Oh, Chihaya. You're back. You're finally _back_. Welcome home."

Ayase Chihaya tried not to cry herself as she returned her mother's tight embrace, hugging her as if it was her lifeline. "Tadaima…. 'Kaasan. 'Touchan."

Her father forgot to act in a dignified, fatherly way as he embraced two of the three women he loved his entire life, tears also running down his cheeks. "Okaeri, Chihaya. Okaeri."

Her mother stroked her hair as she wiped her tears away and got one of her bags, leading her away from the crowd of other people waiting for their relatives' arrival as well. "How was Seoul? Did you have a good time there?"

"Hai." She responded obediently, kissing both of her parents on the cheeks. "I have omiyage. It's in one of the bags." She said albeit a bit more enthusiastically, though her parents could tell that she wasn't still in the mood. Knowing that she was probably exhausted, her mother just laughed and thanked her all the same, telling her that she shouldn't have bothered especially since the cost of every little thing in Seoul couldn't be that cheap.

"Where's… oneechan?"

"Still in the photo shoot in Kamakura." Her father responded, as she wrapped an arm around his waist. "She had really wanted to come but… you know, work."

She laughed softly. "Of course. 'Neechan wouldn't be able to pass up this chance, especially now that she's famous and popular. I wish I'd be able to buy some of her magazines…"

"I have a lot of copies at home!" Her father exclaimed brightly, making her and her mother laugh. Chihaya was grateful that her father hadn't changed out of his admiration of his two daughters. At least, that much hadn't changed.

What went unsaid was that she was grateful that her parents were trying their best not to mention _him_, because honestly, even though she had finally accepted things, she still hadn't been able to understand why he had to do that.

Why he had to hurt her so much.

_I'm sorry, Chihaya. We can't do this._

She shook her head hard, trying not to get her parents to notice it. Now is not the time to remember him, not when she had just come home from her travel supposedly refreshed. A lot of people had helped her try to recover, especially _that_ one person who had done so much for her and she had yet to see again.

Truthfully though, she didn't know how she was going to react once she saw him again. A mixture of foreboding, excitement and nervousness were starting to boil in her chest.

She really does miss him though.

Her parents called up a taxi once they got out of the airport's exit, and had told her that a lot of people had been so excited at the news of her finally returning home. She giggled. She had a good guess who they were.

Chihaya looked around the airport and inhaled a good amount of breath, her insides calming down recognizing her home country's air.

She really is back. For better or for worse.

* * *

She had been silent on the way home, and she was grateful that her parents let her be. She had even fallen asleep a few times against her mother's shoulder. Her mother had just kissed her on the forehead, and she and her father had exchanged knowing looks.

As soon as they arrived and she had stepped inside their home, party poppers popped all over the place and she saw everyone she loved were there, her closest cousin, Keiichi-nii, his daughter and her niece, seven-year old Chizuko-chan, and her older sister, Chitose and her husband, Masaki-nii who had decided to surprise her.

"Okaeri, Chihaya!"

She had laughed and embraced the people who were most important to her, and there were a lot of tears from her, their parents and Chitose, -probably the only ones who were not crying were the two other men who were watching the close family fondly.

They all had a mini-celebration for her arrival back home, -a bottle of champagne had been opened, and all of her favorite foods had been prepared. She had let out an enthusiastic squeal once she found out the food that had been prepared. There were a lot of stories exchanged, mostly something along the lines of "How was Seoul? Was it true that it's so cold there, even in summer?" or "Were they really pale?" and "Got any photos there? Lemme see!" to which she had responded to all enthusiastically.

By the time five o' clock rolled by, her parents had to break the mini-celebration, reminding them that she still needed rest. After all, she just came from a long travel.

"It's fine, 'Kaachan. I was… planning to go to Shiranami society." She said, and immediately as if the sound had been sucked out, her family exchanged wary, guarded looks.

"But… Chihaya… you had just come home. Aren't you exhausted?" Her father had asked guardedly, ruffling her hair tenderly. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"'Tousan. I won't be there as much tomorrow. You know how I'm gonna be doing dress fitting for my best friend's wedding, right?" She asked in a playful, complaining manner, just to ease the tension in the room. She could see her mother and older sister exchanging another look, -this time, of worry.

"Chihaya, it's not like we don't trust you or anything, but… well, we just don't want you getting hurt just by going back there again." Her mother took hold of her hands gently. "We know how much you've… been through."

She gave her mother a reassuring smile as she gently squeezed her hands in response. "I'm already fine, 'Kaasan. Don't worry too much. It's been a year already, -I've… accepted that there were some things that were not just for you."

"But karuta-"

"I won't be touching a card. For now." She said, determination starting to surface in her voice. "I'll just… visit everyone. I've missed them all so much. Especially Harada-sensei. I know he's worried about me too."

Her family exchanged another look. As much as they knew that she was telling the truth, there was no escaping the fact that she… just wasn't the same. Yet. They had rejoiced at her decision to come home, because at least that meant that she was starting to move on, but they didn't want that to be jeopardized as immediately when things had just started to look better for her, especially now that the only person they could entrust her to wasn't around either.

Her brother-in-law, dark-haired, good-looking Masaki-nii, cleared his throat. "Will you, at least, let us take you there? Me and Chitose could drive you over." He glanced at his wife, who looked at him blankly for a second before realizing that she was spacing out and nodding at Chihaya.

"We could even help you buy homecoming gifts for them if you want to." Her older sister added, trying not to make her worry sound so obvious. "Shall we?"

Chihaya laughed and kissed both of them, taking both of their hands into hers. "Guys, there's no need to accompany me. I'm a grown up who knew my way to Shiranami society like the back of my hand. I won't get lost!" She said amusedly, though Chitose and Masaki just exchanged looks of worry.

Keiichi decided to step in. "It's not about you getting lost, Chihaya. We just wanted to-"

"I know. But really, there's no need to fuss. Didn't I just tell you that I'm fine already?" She pouted, though her eyes were glinting with mischief. "And I'm even attending Kana-chan's wedding. That should at least make you stop worrying you know." She looked around to every one of them. "At least let me do this. I've missed everyone so much. Until now, me being back here haven't sunk in yet, and I _just _had to see them again, and I'm so excited that I wouldn't be able to wait until tomorrow. Please?" She asked sweetly, giving her parents her most-effective puppy-eyed gaze.

Her parents could do nothing but sigh. Her mother stepped forward and gently grasped her hands. "Alright, Chihaya, if that's how you want it. You're… right after all. You're a grown up already. We know you can look after yourself. You _did _just spend an entire year alone in Seoul." Her mother stroked her hair. "But… do be careful. If… if you think you can't… stay there any longer, then call Chitose. Or us. Okay?"

She threw her arms around her mother in thanks. "Arigatou, 'Kaasan. I'll be home before you know it." She then hurried outside, slipping on her flats easily, grabbing one of the paper bags she had brought with her home earlier from the airport, not giving the others a chance to respond. "See you later guys! Love you!"

As soon as she was out however, her family exchanged looks, and Chitose sighed exasperatedly. "Was it really a good idea to just let her go alone like that? Shouldn't we at least have accompanied her or something?"

Her father just looked at her. "We have to have faith in her, Chitose. Chihaya is right after all. She's a grown up already. She can look after herself. She just spent an entire year all alone by herself at Seoul."

"I would feel a lot better at that if she at least, has someone who will be there with her." Keiichi pointed out, cradling an asleep Chizuko-chan in his arms.

"Your father is right." Ayase Chieko seconded, effectively closing the matter. "She's already twenty-six. Let's have faith in her."

The three younger people exchanged another look, and Chitose finally shrugged her shoulders gracefully. "Well, if you say so. I hope nothing… untoward will happen with us just letting her go like that. She had just come home, after all, for crying out loud."

All of them had good reason to worry. After all, nobody wants to once again witness the disappointing events that had happened a year ago.

* * *

Well sure, she was exhausted.

She had been lying earlier when she told them that she wasn't exhausted. She was excited yes, but that didn't mean she wasn't tired. With the jetlag and all from the plane, she knew she shouldn't be moving around too much and should just spend the entire day resting, even if she couldn't sleep. Well her not being able to sleep was a _first_ from her. She's always had this uncanny ability to fall asleep everywhere and anywhere, as what _he_ would playfully and teasingly point out to her countless times during the early days.

There she was again, remembering him.

At times like this, she remembers him. There usually is no catalyst or reason at all, she just does. Perhaps she really just hadn't seen him in a long time.

Who was she kidding? She missed him a lot.

And by a lot, that meant a sharp jab of pain on her left chest.

A lot can happen in a year. In her case, she had discovered a lot for herself during her time away from Japan. How to make ends meet for her alone, -how to deal with other people she barely knew. How to adjust to a culture she hadn't known before she went there.

How to move on from a person she thought had loved her with his entire being, only to have him suddenly turn his back on her.

She hadn't been blind to the worried looks her family had exchanged since earlier. They had good reason to worry after all, since the effects of what had happened had resulted to her retreat from karuta, but she couldn't stand their worry. She wanted to convince them that she was fine now, and that she had accepted the fact that he had already left.

The memories flowed in before she could stop them.

"_I'm sorry. We are making a mistake."_

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, -it all felt as if he had just ripped her heart out of her chest and left her bleeding on the floor. _"How are we making a mistake? Explain it to me please!"_

He had looked her in the eye. _"You do _not _love me, Chihaya."_

"_That's… That's… -what? That's not true and you know it!"_ She had denied, unable to understand what he was talking about, back then.

He refused to let go of her gaze. _"You really don't see it, do you?"_

Chihaya closed her eyes and leaned against the window of the taxi she was in, unwilling to sink back into the memories that had plagued her for half-a-year that she had decided to take off and leave Japan. Though she could remember them more openly now without feeling at least like she had to wrap her arms around her chest as if to hold herself together, she felt unwilling to recall them for now. She guessed that she was unconsciously protecting herself from those memories still until she was fully ready to remember them.

Now the pain brought by old memories was more akin to a prick from a thorn, disagreeable but nothing that couldn't be endured and, sometimes, even forgotten. She was, at least, relieved from that.

She glanced around, realizing that she had finally arrived at the dojo. Asking the driver to pull the car to a stop and thanking him politely, she finally stepped out and stood in front of the Shiranami Karuta Society.

_Ah. This place._

She felt something prick once again in her heart. This place had always held good memories for her. This was where she had, after all, first watched and realized that karuta is a sport. This was _where_ she had totally fallen in love with karuta after all.

She unconsciously heaved a deep breath. She stepped forward and went inside, removing her flats and placing them aside. There was no one outside, but she could hear the soft _thud_ of two and so many arms, hear the reading being performed by the reader.

She wasn't so averse to karuta as she had been a year ago, but she still couldn't bring herself to touch a card once again, and she _hated_ herself for it.

Chihaya stepped forward and wrapped her hand around the door handle and slid the shoji open. And once she did, all eyes turned to her.

She could see familiar faces. But before she could do more than smile and step sideways so as not to disturb the practice matches currently going on, she was once again engulfed into a strong embrace.

Tsuboguchi-san's arms were the first ones around her, and she couldn't help but laugh, tears forming in her eyes as she embraced him back. She hadn't seen him for a year, and she truly missed everyone from her karuta society, especially this man who had also stood as one of her mentors which had earned her the title 'Queen' before everything had gone downhill in her personal life a year ago. The man had taken over heading the Shiranami Karuta Society when their dear, old teacher, Harada-sensei had passed on more than two years ago already.

"Chihaya-chan…" He greeted, his voice not hiding his disbelief. "Dear Lord, you're back… you're _finally_ back…"

She laughed, in a restrained tone, trying not to laugh out loud too much lest she disturb the practice match. She may not be able to play karuta again, but she still respected her first love with all her heart and soul. "I didn't realize you could miss me so much, Tsuboguchi-san."

He shook quietly, as if he was about to sob. "Of course I missed you, Chihaya-chan. You were gone for a long time."

She ran her hands soothingly up and down his back, the two of them still locked in an embrace. "I was only gone for a year. Don't go all weepy on me, senpai."

His arms tightened. "I'm sorry if I'm this emotional. It's just that… Harada-sensei had asked me to look after you. I _swore_ I would watch over you and be your guide, be it about karuta, or… or anything else."

She stiffened in his tight embrace. "Mou, senpai. I'm alright now. I'm over it. Please don't worry. You haven't done anything that wouldn't be able to make you face sensei in the afterlife." She then finally let go of him, and she chuckled quietly as she helped him wipe the tears that had somehow fallen into his cheeks, staring at the older man with affection and adoration. "Where is everyone?"

Before he had a chance to respond, another girl had broken into their space and had thrown her arms around her in another suffocating embrace. Chihaya laughed as well when she recognized the child prodigy who she had beaten years ago during her first year, the little girl who had cried over her defeat but had sworn that she still had a lot left to learn. "Ririka-chan."

"Chihaya-neechan." Her expression was torn between laughing and crying at the same time. "_Okaeri._ I've missed you so much."

The cute little girl wasn't so little anymore, and had grown into a beautiful, fifteen-year old girl. After losing to Chihaya that fateful day, the girl had made it a point to practice hard, and her decision involved joining the Shiranami Karuta Society. Since then they had always practiced with each other, until a year ago. "I've missed you as well, Ririka-chan. How have you been? I heard you've been winning all the practice matches last summer. Have you beaten Tsuboguchi-san yet?" She asked,

The girl –who could reach her shoulder already, also being considerably tall for her age, shook her head. "Not yet. But I'm getting there." The determination shone in her eyes, that Chihaya could see herself reflected in those determined hues.

There was that familiar pain in her chest once again, and she had the strangest urge to cry. She could literally see herself in this girl, no matter what she said about her not being able to touch a karuta card once again, and it made her remember the good, old days.

They hadn't realized, though, that the practice match is actually over. Before she could comment on Ririka-chan's determination, she was greeted with:

"OKAERINASAI, CHIHAYA-CHAN!"

And Chihaya found herself embraced by so many people that she lost count of who she had thanked for greeting her, though she did see familiar faces.

She couldn't understand why she was also feeling strangely disappointed though. Perhaps she was expecting he would be here, but a quick glance around told her that he wasn't.

Well it was her fault. She hadn't informed him that she would be arriving, or _returning_ today, more like. The last conversation that they had had been cut off so quickly that she wondered whether he _actually_ had some reason to be mad at her.

But that's impossible. Why would he be mad over a phone call?

Chihaya knew she was being paranoid once again, one thing that he used to point out to her even back during the early days. That one thing hadn't changed, -if possible, it had even worsened because of what had happened.

She shook her head before she could begin thinking about those things again.

They ended up having a little get-together party for her homecoming (the second homecoming party for her that she inwardly winced earlier,) at one of the nearest restaurants to the dojo. There were a lot of stories exchanged, and drinks were being passed around. She even held a glass of margarita at one hand.

"Look who's back!" "I heard you've gone over to Seoul! How was it there?" "You look pale! Are you alright?" "You've lost some weight but it fits you even more!"

She forced a smile across her lips as she chatted with old and new members of her former karuta society. Yes, Seoul is absolutely beautiful. She didn't know why she looked pale. She lost weight because she ran out of money which was good because it got her back to her former weight, which made them laugh and tell her that she was still such a joker, and that they were glad to see that she was doing well.

Only Ririka-chan sat close to her with a worried expression on her face, as if afraid that she would pass out in any moment. When she took out her compact for a minute, she saw why. Yes, she _really_ looked pale.

"I think I'll go to the restroom for a moment. Excuse me."

Ririka-chan watched her go with an even more worried expression on her face.

As soon as she entered the restroom though, she immediately bolted to the nearest sink and poured the contents of her stomach out. All the excitement may have been too much for her, and considering that she had just come home from a long travel, maybe she really should have stopped to think twice about her immediate visit to her karuta society.

Chihaya smiled to herself. She was relieved to realize that the enthusiastic part of her, at least, had not changed in the slightest.

She rinsed her mouth with the cold, refreshing tap water and shut it off, only to feel the beginnings of a headache. She groaned lightly to herself. She hadn't drank too much of the margarita had she? She could handle two glasses of it…

But it really felt as if someone was hammering into her skull mercilessly.

Clutching her head, she looked up to the mirror and stared at her reflection.

It was as if a different girl was staring back at her. Her large, usually bright, auburn, doe-like shaped eyes looked dull today, looking as if a storm was approaching from the distance. Her cheekbones stood prominent against her face, lips still glinting with the simple, pink lip gloss she had worn earlier. Despite of the paleness of her skin, it did not manage to mar the features of her face.

Indeed, she was the epitome of loveliness and enthusiasm, and yet for a reason that was unknown to her friends and even her, he had decided to leave without a reasonable explanation.

Or at least he did, but it had never made sense to her anyway. At least not, even now.

Her head still feeling as if someone was trying to crack it open, she decided to arrange her hair into a side braid and make sure she looked fine. She didn't want to alarm Ririka-chan, though she knew that all the same, the girl had worried for her even after she had hastily left Japan a year ago.

And most importantly, she didn't want to worry Tsuboguchi-san. He already had his hands full when he had began heading the Shiranami Society, and she didn't want to add to that. She already knew how he had worried for her ever since her heart had been broken, and until now she knew that he was still adjusting to the fact that their beloved mentor really had already… gone there. To the place where people were thought to be happy.

She tried to contain the sob threatening to escape her lips. Harada-sensei… he hadn't even seen her become the Queen. She guessed that it didn't matter now, especially since she had unwittingly given the title _and _the game up when she had chosen to walk away a year ago, and honestly, she didn't think she would have the face to show him once _she_ faced him in the afterlife.

Chihaya squared her shoulders and straightened her posture, though she could feel her headache intensify. She couldn't ruin this night, not when she had just come home and managed to make them think that she was okay now. Well really, she _is_ okay now and had already accepted that life is a bitch, and that she wouldn't always have her way. It was just that everything she had been through was one of the things that a woman could never wish upon herself, and that was why she didn't want them to worry even more so than they had done before.

She _was_ still a Queen after all. She hadn't managed to take that title for nothing.

She went out of the restroom and made her way back to their table, where everyone was seated and laughing still. She stopped for a bit to look at everyone fondly, even when her vision was beginning to whirl. The smiles on their faces told her that they were happy to have her back, and that they were doing well with their lives. Not being able to touch a card doesn't matter now. All that mattered is that everyone from her former society is doing well with their lives.

She was still a few feet away from them but really her vision was starting to whirl. It felt as if the walls were closing in on her and her heart was beating a hundred miles per hour against her chest. Sweat rolled down her temple.

Crap.

She didn't realize that she was feeling this crappy since earlier.

She tried to take a step more forward to at least make it to their table, but that one little movement took it's toll out of her.

Everything that had happened afterwards was a blur.

She saw Ririka-chan turn to look at her and saw her stagger to the side. Her expression changed into fear and alarm, and the last thing she heard was her alarming scream:

"Chihaya-neechan!"

* * *

She was in a dream-like state. She vaguely felt that she was being lifted up, voices shouting to one another to bring her back to the dojo, and she even felt a hand touching her forehead.

_Have you managed to contact him?_

That didn't make sense before. _Who were they trying to contact?_ She wondered, in her distant dream-like mind. _Were they trying to contact my family?_

She hoped in her unconscious mind, that they wouldn't. She just didn't want them to worry more and make them realize that they were right to be reluctant to let her go alone to the Shiranami Society. The last thing she wanted was them wanting to accompany wherever she wanted to go from now on.

As she slowly regained her consciousness, the things she was hearing became sharper.

Someone was fanning her face.

"Was she alright now?"

That was her mother's voice and she winced. _Oh, no._

"Yes she is, Obaachan. She just needed proper rest, after all. With all that excitement from seeing some of our old friends it had obviously taken it's toll on her. She'll be fine." A male voice responded, something that made her snap her eyes open.

The voice sounded deep and professional but gentle and reassuring all the same.

What caught her attention though was that it was also freakishly familiar, because it tugged at her heartstrings all the same. She _recognized_ it.

She turned a bit so that her cousin Keiichi-nii's face loomed over hers, making her realize that he was the one fanning her face and he flinched when he saw her eyes open. His worried expression abruptly changed into a stern one. "Finally. You're awake."

Chihaya shook unconsciously from the stern, narrowed-eyed gaze Keiichi was giving her. "U-Uhm… yeah… uh… what happened?" She was trembling out of sheer fear from Keiichi. She could feel a good tongue-lashing coming on, and despite of the fact that she was older now, her fear of her elder cousin hadn't changed one bit. She knew how much he cared for her.

His green eyes narrowed even more. "Oh you are _so_ going to hear it. You just _fainted_, Chihaya. You lost consciousness in the middle of the impromptu homecoming get-together that your society had thrown for you because you _are_ terribly exhausted. What did we tell you?"

"Uhm, K-Keiichi-nii, it's not their fault. I-It's just that I was just so excited and happy-"

"You bet it's not their fault! Did we not tell you to get rest first? _Jesus, _what would we do if they didn't manage to contact him immediately? You would have frozen to death!"

Her eyebrows raised. She was freezing?

"I don't understand." She said a bit confusedly. Keiichi sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. It was only then that she noticed that she was already back in her room at their house, and that her room's door is open, (which was how she probably heard the voices earlier,) and she wondered why the moon is so high up in the sky. "W-What time is it?" She asked, getting more confused as the minutes ticked by.

"It's two in the morning already." Keiichi said, finally moving away from her bed. "You were out for five hours."

She jumped to a sitting position on her bed in surprise, and that made her vision whirl. She winced. Not a good idea at all. "What!?"

"Yes. You nearly died of pneumonia, you idiot. You were delirious, your temperature is at forty degrees Celsius." Keiichi sighed, rubbing his temples. It seemed that the worst of his temper was over as immediately as it started. "Well, you still got lucky, I guess. It's a good thing that our resident doctor had just come back."

"Resident doctor?" She parroted, getting even more confused. "There is a doctor at this time?"

"Of course. Though I'm not specifically on duty."

She glanced up to the tall man who stood at her room's door, leaning on the door jamb with one of his hands on his pockets, wearing what seemed to her like a dark-blue polo shirt and cropped ankle pants. He still had a stethoscope around his neck, his eyes looking bright and alert despite of the fact that it was already the wee hours of the morning.

"I had really wanted to see you finally back, but admittedly, not like this. I had never imagined it would be under these circumstances, you know." He fixed her with the amber-eyed stern gaze she had _so _missed seeing.

Even though it was only a year when they had last seen each other, she had missed him terribly. He was only one of the few people who had stood beside her and helped her slowly recover from her bout of disappointment despite of the fact that they were miles apart. His brown hair seemed longer than usual, skin slightly tanned, shoulders broader than she remembered, arms lean but muscular all the same.

She had felt anxious to see him once again, her emotions a mix between foreboding, excitement and nervousness. Now though, all she could feel were enormous relief and inexplicable happiness.

Tears were pricking the corners of her eyes. "Taichi…" She gasped out loud, his name a breath of fresh air escaping her lips.

"Okaeri, Chihaya. Welcome home." A smile formed on his lips, his eyes glinting with simple and pure joy.

And without further ado, she launched herself to his arms.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. :)

* * *

_**Then**_

* * *

It was nearing eight the time he had managed to leave Kamakura. His colleagues had wished him a safe and happy trip, as they had managed to leave earlier than him to go back to Tokyo. He could feel the team's relief and wishes of getting rest, -after all, spending the last two months conducting special medical missions were not an easy feat at all.

As for him, he had just managed to fix everything that needed to fixed before deciding that he could finally leave. After a little drinking session (he had chosen not to drink too much as he still have a long drive home,) with the residents that he had befriended the last months who expressed their regrets of seeing him finally go back to Tokyo, and him assuring them that he would pay them a visit once in a while, he double-checked everything that needed to be checked, and decided to take the long drive home.

He was getting frustrated by the time he had managed to make a left for the highway that will enter Tokyo. The road is full of cars. The highway was congested, by _nine o' clock_ in the evening.

_What the hell is going on?_

Traffic is usually common in any national city, but at this hour? The only times that something like this happened was when Christmas is nearing, or when the malls have a big sale-out bonus or something. He absent-mindedly honked his horn at an idiot driver who suddenly swerved in front of him without signaling or any warning.

"Dick." He swore to no one in particular, wishing the driver to suddenly have a bout of stomach ache and maybe even loose bowel movement later on.

He had the strange urge to light a cigarette, except he didn't have one with him. Then he recalled that he hadn't really been friendly at all with cigarettes. Sighing at his utter ridiculousness, he switched his radio on, finding himself listening to one of Japan's well-known and famous singers- Amuro Namie.

_Ah, this. The coca-cola song._ He recalled, smiling to himself. He remembered because this was the tune that his niece always danced to whenever his sister would pay him a visit with her in tow.

He opened the hand compartment and grabbed a gum, finding nothing else to let out his frustration on. He ripped off the wrapper carelessly and placed it back inside the hand compartment, making a mental post-it note in his head to throw it out later on.

Drumming his fingers lightly on the wheel, he sighed frustratingly and moved forward to a slow crawl as he again honked loudly at the same idiot driver who swerved to a sudden stop in front of him and almost made him hit the bumper -had it not been for his reflex reaction of stepping on the brake in time.

_I swear I'm going to report this dick first thing tomorrow, dammit._

Leaning back and stretching his legs carefully, he removed his hands from the wheel and stretched his arms as far as they can go. Once he heard the satisfying _crack_ somewhere in his shoulder blades, he removed his glasses as well and rubbed his nose bridge, feeling a headache coming on.

And then, as he looked out into the traffic in front of him, absent-mindedly listening to the catchy song he was tuned in at the moment, his thoughts began to wander.

He guessed that life still had been good to him. Despite of the fact that he had been practically missing out on everything that wasn't work-related, he could say that his life so far, has been _good_. As good as it was for his age, a twenty seven year-old cardiologist, the youngest doctor ever to have joined the University of Tokyo Hospital in history. While many may have raised eyebrows at this, as it certainly was something worth baffling about, once people had managed to meet him, all doubts and questions certainly met the answers, and they could only marvel.

Given his educational history, he had managed to graduate from medicine in a short amount of time, around eight years. He was a scholar and obviously a genius, and though he certainly may have taken it for seven years, he had preferred not to hurry through his college. After all, he still had his life ahead of him, and he had been exhausted trying to _hurry_ through it during his younger years. He just about had enough of trying to get ahead of anyone when all those years he had never really gotten there anyway.

His thoughts wandered to his friends, who were getting married in a weeks' time. He got out his phone and swiped the screen, looking at his calendar, and swearing a bit to himself when he saw the date tomorrow.

_Dang. It's the bachelor party._ He mused exhaustedly to himself. Will he be able to make it? Well, he _should_ be able to, since technically it was his day off, and he _is _the best man.

_Kana-chan's gonna kill me if Komano tells her I wasn't even there._ Truthfully, he was amazed with Kana-chan's… graciousness to even push Komano for a bachelor party, despite of her fiancé's lack of interest to have one. He guessed that there was something to be said about that solid wall of trust that they had built with their relationship over the years, and he had to admit, it was something he admired from the two of them.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He should have enough sleep. But if this traffic doesn't let up, he would have to show up there with eye bags.

To be honest, he was amazed that they were finally getting married. It hadn't taken the whole team long to realize that the two of them, -Komano Tsutomu and Oe Kanade- were meant for each other. But Tsukue-kun, as his best girlfriend fondly called him, had certainly taken his time. They started going out before they graduated from high school, and had gone steady during their college years. Despite of the occasional fights and squabbles, they knew that the two truly loved each other. And then when he finally popped _that_ question, proposing to her during one of their get-together dinners, Kana-chan had cried and said 'yes'.

Well, he was glad for them. It's just about time for them to get their act together. After all, Nishida already had his happy ending.

It had certainly been a surprise when Nishida had been the first to settle down. It was not because of his… well, looks, but because he was well aware that Komano and Nishida both had this crush on Kana-chan back then. They had been surprised when they had found out that he had begun dating someone during their last year of high school, and had been even more surprised to find out that he was dating Ousaka Megumu from Akashi First Girls' High School, who had 'tamed' down her tendencies of being an innate sadist. He smirked to himself as he recalled how Nishida had reddened furiously when _he _had caught them unawares, as he was the one who had accidentally seen them together in one of the school festivals that he had been invited to. Three years after their graduation from college, they married, and Nishida had asked them, -he and Komano,- to be his groomsmen.

But then, nothing had been able to surprise him more than Tsukuba-kun and Hanano-san. Those two were probably the biggest surprise he'd ever had during his college years.

The moment that they had announced to everyone, during one of the club reunions, that they were together, it had felt as if a large meteor had fallen from the sky and had landed in front of them. Never had they thought that the two would end up together, because they could recall clearly how they would clash with one another even with the simple activities that they had to set up for strengthening the foundation of the karuta club. Hanano-san was the one who took the reins from him as the new president during the last quarter of their third year, with Tsukuba-kun as the vice president. He remembered being confident enough to leave the club in their hands, and they had certainly not been disappointed. He would occasionally receive calls from her regarding matches and regulations for tournaments, and he would once in a while hear the both of them debating over the phone with what they should do. So when they finally told everyone that they were an item, they certainly had been surprised, though, when he thought about it later on, they were a perfect match. Tsukuba-kun had the talent of reining in Hanano-san's tendencies to go all out, and she in turn, pushed him to give his very best, which was far from the 'best' he had thought he could give.

He chuckled to himself. He guessed that the phrase 'opposites attract' really is somehow true.

So with all of his friends definitely now on the path of settling down, of course, he had not been saved from merciless teasing, -from his colleagues.

He had been used to the occasional questions of 'When are you planning to marry?' or 'When are you going to introduce your girlfriend to us?' and then the surprise on their faces when he told them that (1) no plans of marrying anytime soon, and (2) he doesn't have a girlfriend, so technically, question no. 1 was definitely impossible. They would shake their heads, or cluck their tongues in sympathy, saying 'You're getting left behind by your friends!' and 'What? You're wasting your time!' but he would just smile, wave their sentiments aside and tell them that he wasn't in a hurry anyway. One comment from his male colleague had actually hit close to home though.

_It's impossible he doesn't have anyone he likes. Come on! He's not a rock. There's definitely someone, eh, Mashima? I _smell_ that it's… hmmm… an 'unrequited love'? Yiha!_

He had punched the guy on his kidney with a smile plastered on his lips, and told them that he, Mashima Taichi, for all intents and purposes, is single and thoroughly enjoying it.

_So… what? You're 'single and uninterested in mingling', is that it? You just about shot down every woman here who had you on their radar! Hahaha! Are you saying that you're contented with… hmmm… what's that famous line? Always the bridesmaid but… wait, let's twist it. 'Always a groomsman, but never the groom'? Hahaha! That is _just _funny!_

He had given the guy a large smack behind the head, but that didn't stop him from being the receiving butt of merciless teasing. After all, he, as an accomplished man and a doctor already for his age, was certainly worth of any attention. The idea that someone like him was spending years all alone by choice was certainly a surprise for both men and women of his age.

_I mean… don't you even miss doing the… you know? The 'horizontal tango'? That is, if you have the experience already. Hahaha!_

The guy was saved from him strangling him around the neck because the patients started arriving around that time. He had snorted to himself then, and went back into work mode.

Of course he already had the experience, and was certainly _not_ a novice on that department. He just didn't prefer telling his friends regarding that area straight-on. Like… hello, does it have to be spoken aloud?

He was cut-off from his trip down memory lane when the music he had been listening to –which was a new one already- was temporarily paused to make way for a newscast.

_Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you news. Earlier, around three o' clock in the after noon to be exact, the former Queen of Karuta, Ayase Chihaya-san, was reported to have been spotted at Narita Airport._

He choked on his gum and nearly swallowed it. Wonderful. His full attention had been dragged back into his radio, and he reached out to turn the volume up a little.

_Several eyewitnesses and airport attendants have been able to confirm that the former 'Queen' have already returned to Japan. It may be recalled that Ayase Chihaya-san, at the height of her karuta career, had gone off to Seoul, Korea a year ago for reasons that to this day are still to be known. Rumors of a failed engagement with the then Karuta Meijin, Wataya Arata have been heard, but no one from both parties have confirmed it. It hadn't been clear-_

A sharp and loud ringing of a phone pierced through the air. He turned to his hand compartment and grabbed it, stared at the screen, and was surprised to see Tsuboguchi Hiroshi's name flashing through the screen.

It wasn't often did he get calls from Harada-sensei's heir, (a private joke that he had to himself,) and ninety percent of those calls usually had to do with emergencies regarding karuta tournaments. He sighed to himself. What did this man want from him now?

He turned the volume of the radio down, removed his gum and wrapped it back into the wrapping paper, set up the phone for hands-free mode and took the call.

"Moshi-moshi, senpai."

"_Moshi-moshi, Matsuge-kun. I'm terribly sorry for calling you at this hour. Did I disturb you?_ His voice crackled through the earpiece. He sounded hassled and almost panicked that his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He carefully maneuvered the car as the pathway in front of him suddenly cleared, and he slipped in easily to the Tokyo lane.

"No, not really, but I'm in the middle of driving my way home from Kamakura." He could hear noise in the background, some shouting even, something along the lines of _Hurry the hell up, Tsuboguchi-san!_ that his forehead creased even more in concern. "Ano… Senpai. It's kinda noisy. What's going on-?"

"_You're on your way home? Goodness! Where are you right now? Can you make it here to Shiranami society in five minutes? We have an emergency!"_

"What the hell? I'm still in Tokyo highway and the road is packed-"

"_It's Chihaya-chan!"_ Tsuboguchi-san all but wailed from the other end of the line. _"She's just come home and she came to visit us, but she-she fainted!"_

"What! What the hell happened?" He honked at an another offending driver and stepped on the gas, zipping his way between the two lanes uncaringly. He heard other drivers honk as well at him, but he didn't care. At least he had a valid reason, -he had an emergency.

He listened carefully and kept his attention on the road as Tsuboguchi explained what had happened. Apparently, Chihaya had already come home and had decided to visit the dojo. Them being enthusiastic about her finally coming home, they decided to throw an impromptu homecoming get-together for her.

"Have you even called a doctor already? Why on earth hadn't you even noticed that she was already too pale!?" He scolded the older man, not in the mood for pleasantries right now.

It's not that he didn't want to be the one to look after her, but the situation is already too urgent for them to wait for him to arrive.

"_We've already called but they're still not here-"_

"Listen carefully, senpai, and listen _well_ if you want Chihaya to live." His voice had gone professional, going to being Mashima-sensei. "I won't be able to get there immediately, because I am in the middle of a damn traffic, and you _don't_ get to sit around waiting for the doctor. What was her temperature already? Right, and that's going to make her delirious. Give her a spoon or a towel or something that she will be able to bite on because she could bite her tongue by accident." He heard him call out to some of his members to do just that. "Try to make her temperature go down, -I don't care if you have to wrap her in a blanket. I'll try to get out of this traffic as soon as I can. Give me fifteen minutes." He sped up as he spoke, stepping on the gas and swerving past a truck expertly, not in the mood to be dealing with the mad driver who he could swear just yelled at him with a few choice swear words that he ignored.

"_Thank you, Matsuge-kun."_

"Don't thank me, I haven't done anything yet. Make sure to clear a pathway around her so she could breathe and the doctor could check her immediately. See you in a few." He hang up and removed the earpiece, stuffing it back into the hand compartment.

And sighed to himself frustratingly.

So she was already back. He didn't know if he should be glad or not. Wait, that's not true. _Of course_ he was glad to have her back. After all, he hadn't seen her for a year, and it was he who saw her off when she had decided to leave Japan for a while. Of course, he missed her. With every fiber of his being.

And he didn't miss the fact that he was still the one who would come to her rescue, that until now he was still her knight in shining armor, as cliché and mushy as it sounded.

The thought made him chuckle wryly to himself. The girl hadn't even informed him that she'll be returning today. Knowing her, she was probably planning to surprise him or something, and since she knew that some of his colleagues were affiliated with the media and all, she probably hadn't wanted to let the media know. Unfortunately for her, she was still quite well-known. That was one of the prices she had to pay for becoming the Queen years ago, as ever since she had succeeded Wakamiya Shinobu at being the Queen, people started paying more attention to karuta, and naturally to her. That meant that she was placed into the status of a karuta superstar-slash-celebrity-slash-model.

And that worsened when she started going out with the then Karuta Meijin, their childhood friend and his former rival, Wataya Arata.

Oh, Wataya Arata. Grandson of the Eternal Meijin Wataya Hajime, karuta genius and all around athlete-slash-celebrity as well. If memory serves him right, it should have been their third anniversary as a couple this year, and probably their first anniversary of being married if Arata only had the courage to go through with their marriage.

He pressed the left light signal and turned lightly to the left direction, narrowly missing a suburban who had skidded beside him carelessly. He honked impatiently and saw the driver roll down his window. He realized that this was the same driver who he had nearly hit since earlier, the one who never signals or anything. The man looked drunk, -his cheeks had that unhealthy flush.

_Ah. The dick driver._

Well, not only was he a dick. He was also an idiot.

The man started shouting inaudible, unclear words that he could only guess what it was, but he didn't wait to hear it. He rolled down his window as well, flipped a finger at him, and drove off.

He didn't have the patience to deal with idiots. Right now, he needed to attend to a patient.

And his broken-hearted best friend.

Or so he thought anyway.

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

She had stood up on shaky legs and launched herself to him, and nearly gave him and Keiichi-nii a heart attack when her legs tangled over each other and she slipped. Despite of the fact that it has been a whole year when he had last played karuta, his reflexes came in handy as he automatically caught her and she just sort of fell ungracefully in his arms. "Chihaya!" he scolded, feeling his heart pound against his ribcage hard, as she grasped his shoulder in a motion as if she was drowning and she needed air, and all but buried her face against his chest.

"…Taichi." She murmured against his chest, feeling as if the world suddenly turned upside down and tightened her arms around his waist that he coughed. "…Tai…chi."

"Ow, Chihaya. Ow. The ribs. The ribs." He groaned pointedly as he coughed all the same, and he felt her loosen her grip. "Yeah sweetheart, I missed you too." He added as he chuckled lightly and returned her embrace, though he was still worried. "Go back to sleep. You need rest."

"Don't wanna." She said, albeit more exhaustedly. He saw Keiichi-nii moved to go out of the room and tapped him on his shoulder, silently telling him to look after her. He sighed in response as Chihaya's mother poked her head in to see why Keiichi had gone out, and as she saw her daughter embracing Taichi, a smile formed on her lips and she nodded, wordlessly telling him as well to take care of her.

How ironic. Here her family had entrusted her to him, when he was just the great best friend.

"Chihaya. You're sick. Frighteningly sick that you fainted earlier. What were you thinking? You could have at least waited a day before you visited Tsuboguchi-san and the others. You know you needed rest before going into trips immediately." He scolded her lightly, sounding exasperated and resigned. She looked up to him, and he saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"M'sorry." She murmured, blinking, and the two drops of tears fell. "Just got so excited."

He automatically reached out to wipe the tears that had made their way down her cheeks. "Don't go all weepy on me, Chihaya. Stop being such a crybaby." He teased lightly, though he knew the reason all too well for her getting all emotional.

"I'm not a crybaby." She responded indignantly, wiping her tears away from her eyes roughly. "What, am I not allowed to miss you?" She pouted, her words clearer this time as she straightened up from embracing him, though her arms remained wrapped around his waist.

"Of course you _should_ miss me. After all, no one looked after you in Seoul. You didn't have anyone to pester around." He joked again, and he was grateful that the atmosphere felt, at least, considerably lighter now, as opposed from earlier when he could feel her brooding.

She glared at him with the force of a kitten, her eyes drooping, in danger of slipping close. Whatever medicine they had made her drink was certainly affecting her now. She was struggling just to even keep her eyes from closing. "W-What medicine did you make me take? I feel so… sleepy…" She slumped against his arms, nearly falling asleep.

"We didn't make you drink anything _that_ strong. You were just so exhausted." He half-carried, half-assisted her back into her bed and he laid her down to it gently, and she reached out to tug at his sleeve, but even her fingers had already lost their strength that her hand slid down and came to grip his. He swept her hair back from her forehead. "Go back to sleep. You'll need the strength in the morning."

"You're not leaving… so soon, right?" She asked groggily, her words half-audible now. Somehow, all the sudden movement and excitement from seeing him again had sapped the last of her energy, leaving her lethargic and a bit weak. Her dark eyes searched his for a response when he remained silent and unresponsive. "Taichi?"

"Well, I still haven't gotten any proper sleep. I just came home from Kamakura, you know." He told her, sounding as if he was peeved. He could feel her playing with his fingers, something that had become a habit of hers before whenever she held his hand.

Her brows furrowed. "Kamakura? What were doing you there?" She all but asked groggily.

Hs lips broke into a huge grin as he leaned forward and flicked her forehead. "Chihaya. I doubt you'll be able to even understand what I'm saying. Just go to sleep now. We'll talk in the morning." He moved to stand up, but before he could even do just that, her listless form became a flurry of action.

"N-No wait! Taichi! Don't leave yet!"

For whatever strength that she still possessed, Chihaya launched herself at him with unexpected speed that he was so caught off-guard that she landed on top of him, and he ended up sprawled beneath her, his arms eagle-spread beside him, her hands clutching at his chest.

"Chihaya! What-?"

At any other time that she would have done this he would have stiffened and panicked at her touch, especially with their position on her bed, but he missed her too much to even try pushing her off. And she _is_ sick, anyway.

"D-Don't leave yet!" She pleaded against his chest, her face mushed against him. "Don't go. If you go I'll miss you again, you know!" She sounded as if she was ready to cry.

Taichi exhaled an exasperated sigh out. She might be sick, but Ayase Chihaya can be so unexpectedly strong when you least expect her to be. He wrapped his arms around her slim frame, which was slimmer now than she used to be that it worried him. Even if she had done her best to hide her reaction from them a year ago from what had happened, he could tell that it had taken it's toll on her. "Aren't you going to let me sleep properly as well?" He asked resignedly, as her breathing hitched, and he felt her chest rise and fall against his.

"Y-You can stay here with me. We can fit on the bed, you know." She offered drowsily, though she did her best to stay awake.

"And make Keiichi-nii and Ojiisan chase me out with a knife and a chainsaw? No thank you." He joked, and she snorted somewhere on the top of his chest.

"They're not going to do that."

"You sound unsure."

"I _am_ sure. They are not going to do that, not to you at the very least. They _trust_ you. Maybe even more than they do me."

That last sentence had the effect of disarming him, and he didn't know how to take it. Was she even joking, or had she actually meant that seriously? "Chihaya. What do you mean they don't trust you?"

"I didn't say that, I just said they trust you _more_ than they do me." She responded, her voice going drowsier and drowsier by the second, and she exhaled a long, drawn-out breath.

He didn't even try to tell her that that almost meant the same thing. "I have a bachelor party to attend tomorrow, Chihaya. At least let me get enough sleep. I'm exhausted as well, you know, since I came home from work, unlike other people _there_ who had just come home from a vacation from Seoul but is even sick." He said, though his body refused to move. The exhaustion, as well as the worry and stress that Tsuboguchi-san had so unceremoniously dumped at him from earlier for her, was beginning to catch up to him, he guessed.

"Then stay here with me. Please, Taichi." She pleaded silently and exhaustedly as well. "I've missed you. It's true." She assured him, as if he didn't want to believe what she was saying earlier.

He felt something twist his heart at the child-like way she admitted that she missed him. "Well I wasn't the one who left for Seoul, Chihaya."

"'M'sorry." She snuggled against him more comfortably like a cat.

"Hmmm?"

"Had to… had to leave." She didn't sound as if she wanted to cry, but it hinted all the same, at how she was broken inside. Probably _still_ broken. By how much, that was not what he was sure of. He did his best to help her recover by helping her book a ticket first thing after she found out that everything that they were planning to happen wouldn't be happening at all, and guided her with her way around Seoul since it was the first time she would be leaving, -all alone and for a totally different country which she wasn't familiar at all.

One would have expected that him, as the best friend, would have stopped her, or made her think twice about leaving. But no, he didn't. While he hadn't privately agreed with her decision to leave, because he thought- and he knew others would agree to it, -that that was quite the cowardly way out,- Taichi knew that she needed to get away. She had always never been good with dealing with emotions, and he was aware that the best way for her to cope would be to get away from it all then. He had consented to her wish of leaving Japan for a year, even when it was the height of her career as a model-slash-karuta superstar-slash-celebrity, because he knew that it would be best for her.

"I know." He responded, after a few more minutes of silence from his end. "You don't have to explain anything. Not to me, in the least."

She didn't respond. He wasn't sure whether she had finally fallen asleep, because she just shifted, -probably trying to find a more comfortable position against him.

He sighed. She had even forgotten that she was lying practically _on top_ of a healthy, twenty-seven year-old man. Honestly, she was already grown up and all, but she hadn't changed out of being too trusting with other people, a fact which had never failed to frustrate him, even before. Well he wasn't a part of the 'other people', but he couldn't help but worry that her being too trusting would lead to her being taken advantage of easily again.

As she had been before, when she willingly exchanged email addresses and numbers with a guy who met her for the _first_ time.

No, he would never take advantage of her. He was always the gentleman, never allowing his own desires to kiss her, or even just hold her hand before, trickle in. He had never changed out of the love he felt for her, and he had already learned too long ago that she wouldn't feel the same for him, no matter what he did. But that didn't mean he couldn't continue loving her in silence… right?

Sighing heavily to himself, he shifted so that he could set her right on her back again, and when he moved to do just that, he found out that she was clutching at his collar with a death grip.

_Dammit. She's serious about not letting me leave._

He knew that she hadn't meant anything earlier when she was asking him to stay for her. That was just the sentiment of a woman who had terribly missed her best friend. But for her to make sure that he wouldn't leave without her noticing… he had to chuckle at that. That part of her hadn't changed in the least, and he was glad for it.

He tried to pry off of her fingers from his collar, but she stirred and her eyelids fluttered open for a bit. "Stay." She said, her voice sounding stern and serious. "Stay, Taichi…"

"Chihaya-"

And as if to punctuate her point, she pulled him in and rolled over to her side, throwing her arms around him and embracing him close as if he were her giant daddy bear that he automatically froze and held his breath in. At the moment all that he could think of was _…Damn. Keiichi-nii's gonna kill me, _which he was grateful for, because he knew for a fact that if something like this happened before, he would be thinking _…Damn. Stop thinking unholy thoughts, Mashima._

As laughable and cliché as his situation sounded, he couldn't find it in himself to laugh at his utter ridiculousness.

He relaxed at his position, having no other choice but to accept the fact that he wouldn't be going home anytime soon. He just prayed that her cousin or her father wouldn't chase him out in the morning with either a butcher's knife or a chainsaw, ready to tear him into pieces for sleeping with their beloved cousin and daughter. Well not sleeping _together,_ but just… _sleeping._ Not… oh, you get the idea.

He stretched his legs and pulled her closer to his chest instead, not wanting her to wake up with a stiff neck later on. The movement made her sigh contentedly, as if she really was embracing her favorite daddy bear in the world.

He was exhausted yes, but now he felt too wired for sleep. His amber eyes rested on the ceiling above him, which still had Chihaya's old glow-in-the-dark patterns. He guessed that she hadn't outgrown her love for them, and hadn't been able to remove them even after all the years that had passed.

As it had before, his thoughts began to wander. But as Chihaya had refused to recall hers earlier, he welcomed his own.

Taichi had to admit that a part of him had died years ago. He was living the past years with… well, half of his life. Even when he knew that he was still giving his hundred percent in everything that he did, he knew that it was no longer the same for some aspects in his life.

Like love, for instance.

During the third year of their college in Todai, -Chihaya a sports education major, him a medical student,- Wataya Arata had confessed to Chihaya. It had happened during one of their karuta victory matches, -the time when he had managed to succeed Suo Hisashi at being the karuta Meijin. He wasn't supposed to hear that incredible heart-breaking moment, but fate had a way of screwing things up for him, so he shouldn't have bothered trying to avoid that moment.

"_I'm in love with you, Chihaya."_

He had stopped, his hand on the doorknob of their dressing room. Taichi, for all the idiocy that he had possessed during his younger years, froze outside the door, his hand on the doorknob, his other hand clutching at the platter of graham that he was supposed to be bringing for the two of them. He was holding his breath very much like he had done earlier, but at that time his emotions were all in disarray, and his world had completely stood still.

"_W-What? What do you mean with that, Arata…?"_ Came Chihaya's small voice, sounding flustered and completely unsure all of a sudden.

He hadn't wanted to hear what would happen next, because despite of what others might think of him, he had no desire of being an innate masochist. But he couldn't move then, as if every muscle in his body had forgotten their job. He felt at that time as if a puppet master had him on his strings and was having pleasure letting him hear the entire moment, letting him bear witness to this moment that he didn't know how he will survive later on.

_Get away, Taichi. You have to get away…_

But his feet had refused to move. Every muscle of his body had locked themselves in their place, and he wanted to curse whoever or whatever it is that had held him in his place. It felt as if someone had wiped superglue on the floor where he was standing, or as if he had been held by tar there.

"_I've always been in love with you. Ever since you defended me from… from Taichi, when we were kids. I love you Chihaya. More than my own life."_

Taichi knew he had to do something, but the whole conversation continued with him listening. Sweat had appeared on his temple, and his heart was racing so fast that he just knew it could rival a racing car.

He didn't know why he, of all people, had to hear this conversation. Did God secretly hate him? It made him wonder whether he had done anything disrespectful on one of his altars before in his past life and was now paying dearly for it.

He was ready to pay for anything with everything he ever had, but this? This was just plain cruel. Had he done something incredibly bad that made God decide for him to be the secret witness to the moment the karuta God had finally chosen to side with Arata and give him the one woman they had loved their entire lives -Chihaya?

And when he finally heard Chihaya accept Wataya Arata's feelings, his world, -his heart,- broke and shattered.

"_I-I love you too."_

There was no feeling like it in the whole world. It was so incredibly painful that he thought he might lose his mind with just even hearing it.

Imagine feeling as if your skin was burning from the heat. Now imagine that pain a thousand times more, and concentrate the pain to just one place, -your heart. That was how hurtful it was, hearing the one person you loved your entire life tell another person who _wasn't _you and could _never_ be you that she loved him as well.

A part of him had died that day. Ever since then, he knew that a part of him was always missing, always incomplete. He was never the same again.

Others thought that that would have been the end of their friendship, but no, it hadn't ended there. They remained friends, well, him and Chihaya in the least, but his friendship with Arata had been strained. And no one blamed him for it, no one had given him grief about it. Yes, they were together, but he had made it a point not to stay in the same room with them whenever _they_ were with each other. It was at that point of time that he began turning his attention to his studies, which was beginning to be more demanding then. He had been grateful to it, because it gave his mind the opportunity to concentrate on it besides his love life _and _friendship, which had been in shambles.

Did he try to avoid her? Well yes, of course. Any self-respecting man would have tried to avoid the woman they love the most but was completely in love with someone else, because yeah, it _hurt._ It goddamn hurt, alright. But was he able to? At first, yes. He had distanced himself from her the first couple of weeks following Arata's confession to her, and had been hanging out with the boys, -Komano and Nishida- more often that had been usual then just to avoid her. But when Chihaya had come to him _and_ cried on him the first time she and Arata had this squabble of sorts, he realized that it was pointless trying to avoid her.

Looking back on it, Taichi didn't know how he had managed to survive the pain. All he knew was that for the first three months of them as a couple he kept on telling himself that it would be better, just like what their friends used to tell him. And really, he did believe that things had _started_ looking better for him then. Eventually he was able to accept that life is a bitch, and yes, things doesn't often go your way no matter how much you wanted it to go _your_ way like a mature adult. If you had your way all the time, who would be able to appreciate true happiness right? So he recognized that life gave him a bad deal, and he had adjusted to it accordingly, because in the battle between you and life, you have to win, no matter how hard it takes.

And hell yeah, was it _hard._

That meant that it hadn't been a walk in the park just trying to get back on his feet. But their friends had helped, and his _studies_ did help. He had remained as Chihaya's best friend, and hell, was he the _best _damn friend she ever had. Pathetic as it may have sounded, he had chosen to stay with her, be her shoulder to cry on, watched over her whenever she found herself in crossroads.

He did try to move on from her, but even as his friends had tried their best to help him move on, that had been easier said than done. He had tried dating, yes. That didn't mean it worked out though. He had always found himself searching for one specific quality in that girl, and he would feel sick every time he realized that it resembled Chihaya one way or another.

He had given her his heart but she didn't see it. Try as he might from taking it back, it felt as if she had already hidden it somewhere that she hadn't even known about. What hurt the most was that she _wasn't_ even aware of it. Ugh.

They had gone steady for four years, and he had been busy with his medical studies. And before he graduated from Todai, Arata did something that brought the old pain back.

He had told him that he was planning to propose to Chihaya finally and marry her. He would have cared less, (despite of the fact that he had once again felt as if the world had swept him off of his feet,) but he couldn't ignore the favor that Arata had asked him then.

"_Will you be my best man?"_

Any sane guy would have blanched and immediately turned him down, especially if the bride was the woman who they were still in love with. Perhaps, maybe they would have even thrown a token punch just to make their feelings clear about the whole matter.

"_I don't want to ask you to do this, Taichi, but you are still my best friend. It would mean so much to me. And of course… to Chihaya."_

And really, despite of the hurt that had once again exploded in his chest, Taichi did care for Chihaya's feelings.

As he chuckled to himself in the darkness of Chihaya's room, he realized that of all the crazy shit he had done his entire life, his decision a year ago had definitely taken the cake.

He had accepted.

And yeah, that was probably the most idiotic decision he'd ever made his entire life.

* * *

**_A/N: Let me know what you think guys! :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay.**_

_**I have a lot of explaining to do.**_

_**I'm terribly sorry for taking quite a long time to update. I got sick, and really busy that it took me a long time to finish this chapter. Maybe I should change the title of this story to 'Late'. Haha. That was a terrible joke at my expense, but all the same, I hope you're not planning to strangle me. *crosses fingers***_

_**Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this one. On to the story!~~**_

* * *

**Tuesday**

_Dress fitting_

_Hair and make-up trial_

The sun's rays flittered through her eyelids that her eyes automatically opened. The sunlight nearly blinded her, and she turned over to her side in reflex, feeling sluggish to even be awake properly.

Only to find that she was alone on the bed.

She jolted awake so suddenly that it made her vision spin for a minute. She could recall that she had fallen asleep with Taichi on her bed, recalling the moment that she embraced him and laid her head contentedly on his chest. The last she remembered was him pulling her close, probably not wanting her to wake up with a stiff neck today.

Ah, Taichi. He had never changed out of his habits of taking care of her, -as if it was already second nature to him.

But where was he?

Her question was answered when the door of her room opened and admitted her best friend in, a towel wrapped around his head, which hid his eyes from her for a second. Then as if noticing that she was staring at him open-mouthed, _because_ he was still shirtless and allowed her a view of his upper body, (her eyes tracing that delicious, well-toned stomach, which she knew would make any red-blooded female go weak in the knees,) he reached for the towel around his head and threw it on her, expertly covering her face.

"-Mpppf!" She exclaimed irritably, as he chuckled warily.

"No peeking." He teased lightly, and he moved to grab the shirt that was hanging on the end of her bed, immediately pulling it over his head that by the time she had managed to remove the slightly wet towel he was already dressed, -at least, decently enough.

She threw the towel back on him with an irritated grumble. "Why, am I not allowed to look at you like that?" She asked peevishly, though why she had suddenly felt warm, she didn't know.

Taichi snorted as he sat down on her desk chair, drying his hair carelessly. "You should be even grateful I already had jeans on. Otherwise you would have seen something you're likely never to forget." He continued teasing in a light manner, but he wasn't looking at her to even gauge her reaction.

The blood rushed to her cheeks, being able to understand fully well what he was saying. "As if you'd ever do _that_." She threw back, knowing that he was too careful when it came to those things. She had always known Taichi to be the perfect gentleman, always putting the ladies' interests ahead of him and treating them with profound respect.

"Well that was one of the things that you had to be careful with if you're going to ask a man to spend the night with you. What if it wasn't me?" He turned to look at her, making her feel as if she was being scolded for something that she wasn't even sure about.

"Ummm… sorry?" Chihaya offered, sounding totally unsure that he chuckled.

He stretched from the desk chair and reached for her cheek, absentmindedly caressing it for a moment that she automatically found herself closing her eyes with his touch, before placing his hand on her forehead to check her temperature. "Your fever's gotten better. That's good." He commented as he placed his hand as well on the side of her neck. "But you're still not allowed to go on with sudden trips like you have so brilliantly pulled last night." He added sternly, leaning back and continuing to dry his hair.

Her eyes opened and her lips pushed out to a pout, as she stood up and immediately took over drying his hair, rubbing the towel against his head gently that his hands automatically lowered, allowing her to resume his task. "But… I have to go someplace else today."

"Cancel it." He responded underneath the towel, almost harshly.

Her hands stopped what she was doing for a second. "Why are you being Mr. Dictator? I've promised Kana-chan that I'll go to the dress fitting today you know."

"I won't be such a dictator if you listened to Obaachan and Ojiisan and stayed at home yesterday and hadn't almost died from pneumonia." He reasoned out, as he felt her hands move again to resume her task.

"Oh c'mon, Taichi. I won't be partying there. I would just have to see if the dress will fit on me. Do you want Kana-chan to kill me?" She asked rhetorically, knowing that Taichi would give in once she mentioned it was an _order_ from their bride-to-be girlfriend. "Besides, I'm expected to be there. Hello, I _should_ be there. That's supposed to be my task as the maid of honor, you know."

He sighed. "Fine then. Go ahead."

Chihaya turned his seat around so she could look at him straight in the eyes. "Would it make you feel better if you would come with me?"

"I'm not sure about that. I still have to prepare for Komano's bachelor party." He said evasively, averting his amber gaze from her. "And I still need to sleep properly. For crying out loud." He added peevishly, looking up at her finally with eyes a bit narrowed. Eventually, she was able to realize that his eyes were actually a bit red. "Do you know how painful it is for the eyes not to have any proper sleep? I feel as if I've got sand in it."

She removed the towel from his head and placed her hands on her hips. "And why, may I ask, have you not gotten any _proper_ sleep? We did share the bed you know." She asked matter-of-factly, glaring at him playfully all the while. "You weren't chased out by my cousin and my father right?"

"Tch. Yeah I wasn't chased out, but imagine having to sleep next to someone who wouldn't stop sleep-talking all night. Really, I'm sure you would understand." He snorted, his lips spreading into a wide grin as Chihaya's face drained off it's color.

"I-I was… sleep-talking?"

"You bet you are. You won't shut up through the entire thing." He teased, as Chihaya blushed madly.

She hated that habit of hers. Her mom used to tease her non-stop about it when she was a kid, because she was saying things she couldn't say in real life when she was awake. It had often ended with her dealing with embarrassing moments, -like the time when she had a crush on a kid back in middle school (who was a classmate of hers,) and her mom had found out about it. It took two entire weeks before her mom had gotten tired of teasing her about the said crush.

Well, she liked the kid because he was interested in karuta, but she had to admit that he was not on par with Arata, -and even more so with Taichi.

Her eyes unconsciously snapped shut as her brain recalled Arata, and there was that familiar pain in her chest. Unlike before though, the pain brought by just even recalling him was more akin to a prick of a needle.

Taichi watch her expressions change in a minute. He could easily discern what she was thinking, because he had always known her the best of anyone _outside_ her family. It was ironic that the one person who knew her even better than she does herself was someone who would give her his everything, but she couldn't see it.

He averted his gaze from her, feeling the familiar pain that kicked in his chest. He was used to the pain already, because he had accepted long ago that he will be a part of her life only as her best friend. He was fully aware that the pain was a part of his body already, as if a hole had been punched in his heart that was only kept at bay because she was still there, -only not as the person in his life that he would prefer. And he had decided, long ago, that he would rather be with her at her own terms than risk hurting her and losing her in the end.

He was a martyr, alright. But there was no other way he would have it, really. One of these days, his martyr tendencies were going to be the death of him.

"W-What did I say…?" Chihaya murmured in a small voice, the blush coating her cheeks.

Taichi's lips broke into a huge grin. "You sure you wanna know?"

She lowered her head on her hands and covered her face. "Oh no!"

Taichi laughed and hurried to reassure her, rubbing her back and trying to lift her face from her hands. "Why are you so embarrassed? There's nothing shameful about sleep-talking, you know. And you haven't said anything you'd rather not tell other people aloud." He explained gently, as she raised her head and pinned him with her large, auburn eyes.

"R-Really?" She asked, in a manner of a little kid seeking reassurance from her dad.

He couldn't help but roll his eyes, -and even that served as a reassurance for her. "Why are you so self-conscious? The last time I checked you don't really care about these things, you know."

Her gaze lowered to the ground. "I…well, Arata had teased me once that I _did_ say embarrassing things when I slept."

He stiffened, and all traces of humor disappeared from his face. "…I see." Silence filled the entire room as if she had dropped a bomb.

Shrugging his shoulders, he straightened up and averted his gaze from her as he trudged to the corner of the room and busied himself with the dark bag that until then Chihaya had not managed to notice. "I-Is there any news o-on him?"

He stopped for a while what he was doing, his arm frozen in mid-air. "Last I heard he's in Kyoto. Other than that, no serious news on him, aside when he had decided to retire from being Meijin." He responded in a cautious tone, gauging her reaction by merely listening to her breathing.

"You have a change of clothes?" She asked confusedly as he nodded, not even confused with the sudden change of topic, his back still turned to her as he deftly and swiftly threw his toothbrush and some of his personal things inside.

"I came home from Kamakura right? So I have a change of clothes. Fortunately for me as well, seeing as you didn't make me go home last night." He explained, his tone evasive and sounding clipped that she flinched. And then, as she stared at the back of his shirt, she realized…

"Is that… the shirt I gave you as a gift?" Her eyes had grown as wide as saucers as her tone turned gleeful. She saw him freeze with his shoulders hunched up as if he had been caught red-handed. "It is, isn't it?"

Taichi exhaled a large sigh out. "Well, yes. It was the only shirt I had which was still unused-"

She glomped him and planted a large kiss on his cheek in her enthusiasm, nearly sending him toppling on the floor and making him yelp with a loud "Yikes!" as she laughed gleefully.

"Oh my gosh! I thought you wouldn't prefer being caught dead wearing that?" She couldn't stop giggling as she pointed at the large cartoon character sticking out from the front of his shirt, - a huge and ugly-looking bear wearing shades and resting on a bench, a large umbrella propped above him as he sipped on an orange juice. She couldn't contain her happiness. She had long given him that shirt as a gift last Christmas, (which caused her a lot of pains just to get it because it was a limited summer edition,) but to her knowledge he had only worn it once, -and that was when she had first been depressed. He explained that he didn't know any other way how to cheer her up then, and the only answer that came to him then was to wear that shirt and let her see how ridiculous he looked in it.

It had cheered her up considerably at that time, and she managed to forget, -if just a short moment, her troubles and what she had been going on through at that time. Really, she had always known that she wouldn't have been able to survive the disappointment if Taichi hadn't been there by her side all this time.

Which made her wonder, against her will, why he was still alone, all these years.

She wasn't blind. She knew how attractive her best friend is. Well, attractive was probably the understatement of the year, but… she didn't know how else to put it. Chihaya wasn't quite aware of it during her younger years, but ever since she had gone out with Arata, she had started seeing it. Dating does that to anyone, she guessed, making her more mature than she ever could be and sensitive with other people's feelings.

She had also been aware that _something_ existed between the two of them, an indefinable something that wasn't really there but was there, all the same. It had always been there, just simmering under the surface. It probably existed even during their high school years, but had been buried when she had started going out with Arata. Now though, she could feel it once again, -like it was something that was waiting to be noticed.

The troubling part about that something was that she wasn't exactly aware of what it was. She had ignored it for the better part of her life, but she was beginning to notice it again. And somehow, she could feel that she would be making another mistake if she continued ignoring it.

That didn't reassure her. The fact that he was still single somehow unsettled her as well, even more so than before, because she didn't know what that meant to him. What if he ended up alone and single his entire life?

He sighed as he adjusted her position on his legs. "Don't get too excited. I was only wearing this because you made me stay here all night, and this is the only shirt I have available." He explained, his lips stretched into another wide grin as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're still wearing it."

"People won't exactly see me since I have a car, you know." He shot back, chuckling as she pouted heavily, her eyes narrowing at him.

"Hmph."

Their eyes met. Chihaya felt something flutter in her chest, as she met his amber gaze. She felt something stir in her stomach, like something was twisting her insides and tying it into a knot.

Then she broke the moment by asking, again against her will, "Why are you still single, Taichi?"

He grinned. "I couldn't feel my legs anymore, Chihaya. What have you been eating the past year, honestly?"

She flicked her fingers against his forehead. "Don't try to change the topic, you idiot." She glared at him as he also retaliated with a flick on her forehead.

"Then don't go asking why I'm still single like you're just asking about the weather." He gently slid her off his legs as he stood up and pulled her up with him. He dusted the back of his jeans and straightened up as Chihaya looked at him with a worried expression on her face.

"I'm not kidding. It's been a year when I've decided to disappear, and I come back _only_ to see you still single."Chihaya didn't know why she was determined into getting him to admit why he was still… alone. "Not only that, but you've been like that _ever_ since high school. I've always wondered why you never had a girlfriend again, Taichi. Aside from the girl who called you Ta-kun, you know."

Taichi fixed her with a steady amber-eyed gaze. "What is all this curiosity about my being single?" He approached his disregarded backpack and started zipping it close. "It's not like you weren't used to me being single all this time."

Chihaya shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I couldn't help but wonder why until now you don't have… someone special. I mean don't you feel lonely?" She added, watching his precise movements, all the while trying not to keep her eyes on those ripple of muscles on his arms which the sleeves of his shirt hadn't even managed to conceal. _Bad, Chihaya. Bad._

He looked at her again, meeting her auburn eyes with another steady gaze. "Do I look lonely to you?"

That was a weird response to her question. "Well… no. Not really." _Like, ever._

Chihaya had always thought that Taichi had high standards, -even during their younger years. It was not because of the girlfriend he had, but because of the fact that he hadn't gotten another one again after all these years. She was well aware of the fact, -and she knew the others would agree with her,-that Taichi was capable of having any woman he wanted. Not in a bad way, but in a positive perspective, but for some reason unknown to her and her friends, he had chosen to remain as he is then until now. No one could blame her for being understandably curious.

"Being single seems like a pain to some people, but really, I'm contented being like this, Chihaya." He explained, and it didn't escape Chihaya that he used _contented_ and not _enjoy_. "No one to have to answer to, you know. It's amazing to have that freedom as a… bachelor." He winked at her, chuckling.

"You were contented. Are you happy?" She asked mercilessly, raising an eyebrow at him that he groaned.

"Do I seem like a lonely case to you? You did tell me I don't look lonely." He mussed her hair that she made a complaining sound and swatted his hand away automatically. "Why is it that people find it hard to accept that it's not that _bad_ to be single?"

"Because it's such a waste for someone as successful and accomplished as you." She explained this time, fixing her hair and averting her gaze from him.

Taichi stared at her, but his eyes were unfocused, indicating that he was thinking about something else entirely. "Maybe. But really, it's not that bad. And it's not true that I do _not_ have any special someone, you know." He said, chuckling all the same.

This made her look up to him. "Y-You do?" She suddenly felt uncomfortable at the sudden thought, though why she felt so, she didn't know.

"Yes, I do. And she's standing in front of me." He gave her a wink as he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Really, I don't need a girlfriend if I have my best friend to look after. It just wouldn't feel right." He lifted his backpack and placed it on her desk chair. "Now I do believe you still have to meet Kana-chan?"

She was speechless, for once. Ayase Chihaya was seldom rendered speechless, and now was one of those times. "Uh… yes, but-"

"What time was that supposed to be?"

"At ten but-"

"Well then get ready so you could get home early and rest. I'll drive you over." He said, turning into bossy mode. "Go on. You have fifteen minutes."

"What!?"

He merely looked at his watch and she stuck out her tongue at him as she moved to grab a towel from her cabinet and he proceeded to go out of her room and wait for her downstairs instead.

She wanted to ask what he meant with his statement, but she had the feeling that the time for questions is over and he wouldn't give her the response that she wanted to hear.

Chihaya was caught off-guard with his response. _I do have someone special. And she's standing right in front of me._ She didn't know how to take it, or if she was the only one reading too much into it. Knowing Taichi, he was probably just being himself. It wasn't a puzzle to her that he had taken the role of being her guardian initially, even back during their younger years. He had always watched over her, even then. He hadn't even batted an eyelash when she told him that she needed to get away a year ago, and fast. He was the one who had arranged everything, -from the ticket to her flight to Seoul. What he couldn't do was accompany her, but instead had guided her with her way around her travel destination, which had ended up with her giving him phone calls even during the most ungodly hours in Japan.

So why couldn't she shake the feeling that there was more to that statement he had dropped earlier carelessly?

It was at times like this that she cursed herself for being such an airhead, before. Well she had truly matured a greater deal now at twenty-six, but she hadn't really learned to read between the lines when it came to dealing with men. It was something that she had come to accept about herself- that if someone wished to court her, then they _have_ to be prepared, because they'll have to be truly open and direct with her.

As she lathered soap around herself, her thoughts wandered. Taichi was her best friend. If he finally found that _someone_ for him, his significant other, -how would she feel about it, she wonder?

For some reason, she found herself not wanting to answer that question.

* * *

"Okaeri, Chihaya-chan."

"Tadaima, Kana-chan."

Taichi watched fondly as the two friends, with tears in their eyes, flew to one another and embraced each other tightly.

Kana-chan was especially emotional as she rubbed her dearest friend's back. "Oh my gosh. I thought you're planning to ignore me, Chihaya-chan."

"What are you talking about? I wouldn't miss your wedding for anything in the world! That was mean of you," Chihaya jokingly replied as they looked at one another for a minute, and hugged each other tightly again. "I missed you, Kana-chan. No kidding."

"As I did, very much, Chi-chan." Then Kana-chan turned to the only man in the dress-up parlor. "Buchou. It's so good to see you again."

Taichi leaned forward and accepted Kana-chan's kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations again, Kana-chan. I'm so glad for you."

Kana-chan gave him a playful swat on the arm. "You are? I was under the impression you were also on your way to getting married."

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Not happening. I don't even have a girlfriend for crying out loud."

Kana-chan laughed at that, giving him a sly look. "Well you could always try to find one, if only you _choose_ to do so." She glanced at Chihaya at that, apparently meaning something else, and Chihaya's eyebrows raised.

Taichi's response was an uncaring snort. "Apparently, I don't have the motivation to even find one." He averted his gaze from the ladies around the place, who were throwing him curious and, -some didn't try to hide it,- a little _more_ than warm looks. Despite of the fact that he was wearing simple jeans and that daddy bear shirt (which wasn't exactly a fashion statement to begin with,) with a simple dark hoodie, he still stood out of place.

For one…

"Why don't you introduce us to your _friend_, here, Oe-san?" A sweet voice asked charmingly out of nowhere, and Chihaya stiffened, suddenly uncomfortable.

Kana-chan turned to the lovely lady who stood behind them. "Guys, meet Chidori-san. She's the wedding stylist. Chidori-san, meet Ayase Chihaya –former Queen of Karuta and _my_ maid of honor, and Mashima Taichi, my fiancé's best man. He's single, but I think, and he would agree with me, _uninterested_ in mingling." She said a little louder than she intended, and they suddenly felt the atmosphere turn into a not-so-subtle disappointment.

Taichi laughed from his belly at that. "Sometimes I wonder if you really couldn't read minds, Kana-chan. But yes, that's true. It's nice to meet you, Chidori…"

"Kaname." The lady laughed as well at Kana-chan's statement. "Don't worry, Kana-chan, I have no plans of glomping this man. I'm happily engaged as well, you know. And it's infinitely nicer to meet _you_, Ayase-san." Chihaya accepted her hand, who smiled at her genuinely.

"Congratulations as well, Chidori-san. And it's also nice to meet you." She responded, shaking her hand. Taichi cleared his throat.

"Well…I suppose I should leave you ladies now. I have to go and I have to get that wine for Komano. He'll be in for a surprise." He winked at them and Kana-chan swatted him on the arm again.

"I know I was the one who forced you guys to have a bachelor party, but you _behave_ yourselves." Kana-chan said warningly in a deathly tone as Taichi chuckled and gave her a hug.

"Me? I'm always behaved." He laughed and leaned down to bestow Kana-chan a kiss on the cheek. "I'll pick you up after you're done. Mail me." He turned to Chihaya, who nodded shortly.

"Uh… sure." She said, her tone suggesting that she wasn't really concentrating on him but instead to some of the other women in the room who were throwing glances at their direction. He followed her gaze, and shook his head once when he saw where her gaze was directed at. She was looking at the wedding dress situated on a mannequin in the middle of the parlor.

He squeezed her hand reassuringly, and she gave him one of her bright smiles. That was enough for him not to get so worried for her. After all, she had just come back from a trip that helped her move on from a jeopardized wedding, and he didn't want that to be ruined for her, -especially when she did her best to be present for Kana-chan's own wedding. "You _have _a bachelor party?" She all of a sudden asked as she turned to him, as if it was only now that it had sunk in her brain that he would be going into one, her tone suggesting that she was somehow surprised.

Taichi raised an eyebrow at her. "Yep. Or I'm throwing one, anyway. Best man duties, you know."

Her eyebrows had raised. "Uh huh. So you'll need entertainment."

Kana-chan and Chidori-san both giggled as they watched the two's exchange. For some reason, Chihaya felt incredibly uncomfortable.

His eyebrows raised even more, which looked like it was in danger of disappearing into his hair. "Of course. Though probably not the entertainment you're thinking of." He winked at the other two ladies who laughed appreciatively as Chihaya turned so red a tomato would be jealous.

"W-What are you talking about you-"

Taichi laughed as he lifted a finger and flicked her on the forehead. "See you later."

"See you." She responded distractedly, still blushing and he chuckled playfully, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead before bowing to the two ladies and trudging out of the dress-up parlor and getting into his car. He started up the engine, rolled out of the curb and with a honk, drove off.

Chihaya followed the car out of her sight, and turned to Kana-chan who was smiling at her, holding up a make-up set.

"Shall we begin?"

* * *

Kana-chan sat her down in front of a large mirror and she and her stylist, Chidori-san, started testing different shades of make-up on her face. As they threw suggestions back and forth, she played the dutiful mannequin and kept quiet for the moment, and instead used the time to think.

She couldn't understand why she was still bothered with her conversation with Taichi earlier, -the one about him still a… bachelor. She may have been caught surprised with his well-meaning statement, but she couldn't accept the fact that it was her that he had actually focused his time on. She shouldn't be surprised really, about that –but it was quite troubling that she may have been the reason why after all this time, he had been alone.

She shouldn't be making a big deal out of it, -Taichi hadn't made it so earlier, but she couldn't help but feel guilty for some reason.

While she had been dating Arata, Taichi had remained her friend. It may have been normal to her, but it was only then that she realized that his friendship with Arata… had been quite strained. They still hang out with him sometimes, -the three of them sharing lunch and stories just like what they used to do when they were kids, - but it was only now, that she actually noticed, how evasive Taichi had been when it came to being with the two of them.

_I can't. Sorry Chihaya. Had to go to the library._

Or…

_Uhm… not now. Council meeting at five._

Chihaya didn't know what made her think it, but she suddenly realized how he had made excuses back then to avoid having to stay with her whenever Arata was around. How she had managed not to notice it, she didn't know. But one thing was for sure, a lot had changed between the two of them starting their college years.

And probably even more so after the jeopardized wedding.

She hadn't bothered to ask what had really happened when everything had gone downhill a year ago, -well, not between the two of them at least. But it was only now that she realized she hadn't _actually _been aware of what had transpired between her and her two supposed best friends. With a chill, she recalled how Taichi's face had darkened at the time that they found out about the cancelling of the ceremony that would make any woman feel complete,-if only it had happened that time.

Just thinking about what would have happened between her two supposed male best friends was making her wince already. Taichi, during his younger years, have been quite protective of her. She knew it was because she was scatter-brained enough to even manage to look after herself properly, adding to that the fact that she was a karuta addict. Taichi, as she had always been aware of, had taken it upon himself to take care of her and watch over her, helping her decide with what she had to do and cannot do at just about everything, -karuta, studies, _and_ her life in general. The proof? She recalled the time that he had erased her… _admirer's_ number and blocked it just for her not to be pestered by him again, claiming that a relationship between her and the guy wouldn't work out, because he didn't know her in the first place.

"_You can't go out with a guy who hasn't seen you play karuta, you know. It's not going to work out."_

…_But I cannot hide my secret love._

Chihaya wondered where that phrase had suddenly come from. Why was she remembering that particular line from one of the karuta cards?

She couldn't deny that she was surprised though, when he had tolerated her sudden decision of leaving Japan to forget the pain altogether. She had half-expected him to give her a good knock on the head, tell her not to be ridiculous since she didn't even know Seoul that _well_, but he consented to her impulsive decision, which startled her. She had asked him back then why, and his response had been short and simple.

"_You've grown up enough to decide for yourself, Chihaya. If you had decided before that you can marry Arata, then certainly you can decide to go out of Japan."_

Chihaya had been half-expecting him to stop her, but for that reason, he didn't. She didn't know if she should be glad that he had trusted her enough to let her be on her own, but back then she had felt quite disappointed.

As to why, the reason still had to be clear to her.

"Just take it down a notch on the wedding day. I want something less red but rosier. You know my friend. She doesn't need that much make-up on." Kana-chan had been saying as they discussed their plans.

Chidori-san nodded, giggling as she went to place the beauty essentials in front of the large mirror, and she finally decided to look at her reflection. "I know what you're talking about Kana-chan. Besides I _really_ think it would be better for her to wear less. Wouldn't want to make her boyfriend mad. You know men." She said in a teasing voice, gesturing to Chihaya's quite lovely reflection.

Chihaya's expression turned confused, as Kana-chan laughed, immediately understanding what her stylist meant. "That's a good one, Kaname-chan."

She couldn't understand what the two were talking about, as deliberately slow as she is. "Huh? Boyfriend? Who? Coz I don't have one, you know."

The two women giggled even more as Kana-chan shook her head. "Chi-chan no baka. She's referring to buchou, you know."

At this, Chihaya had incredibly reddened from her neck to the roots of her hair. "W-What! He's not my boyfriend, Chidori-san! You've got the wrong idea here." She explained hurriedly as the stylist burst out laughing hard, and clutched at her belly.

"Please just call me Kaname-chan, and I'll call you Chihaya-chan instead." She waved a hand airily as she continued giggling. "I'm sorry for teasing you like that all of a sudden since we just met, but it really just isn't that way to me, Chihaya-chan. I do apologize."

"He's my best friend. Just that." Chihaya insisted, though somewhere in the back of her mind she felt incredibly happy to have been mistaken for that.

So why had she felt that all of a sudden?

"Oh? It doesn't really look like that to me."

"Kaname-chan!" She exclaimed, blushing again as the two women laughed together. "And I don't understand why you're not siding with me, Kana-chan." She said, turning to give her blooming best friend a playful glare, her tone resentful.

The bride-to-be tried to control her laughter as she turned to her best girlfriend. "Sorry, Chihaya-chan. You have to admit though, the idea sounds good."

The stylist slowed down her laughter as well. "I was just joking, Chihaya-chan. Sorry. I was just told earlier that he's single, remember? But I really just couldn't help teasing you to him. I mean… it's such a _huge_ waste. You guys looked insanely great together." Kaname exclaimed, her tone turning quite serious. "So… you're not kidding, right? You guys aren't really together?"

She gave the cheeky stylist a playful glare as well which sent the two women laughing their heads off again. "No, unfortunately we're not. If we were, Taichi would have asked me to marry him long ago and I won't be here as maid of honor for my best friend, you know." She joked, and then her expression turned into surprise.

Kana-chan's expression turned into one of surprise as well. "Really? Well... I'm glad you can joke about that now, Chihaya-chan."

"Yeah… I'm… glad I can too." Chihaya responded absentmindedly, her tone indicating her surprise as well.

She didn't expect it of herself, but… it seems she really has already moved on from the disaster that had occurred more than a year ago already. Apparently, she was over it and could laugh more easily now about that subject.

But she was even more surprised at her statement.

_He would have asked me to marry him long ago. And I wouldn't be here as maid of honor for my best friend._

Chihaya couldn't believe her own mouth.

_Where had that come from?_

What was crazy was how sure she was of what she said. She just _knew_ that if she and Taichi were together, he would have proposed one way or another, and she would have said _yes_.

_What is going on?_

"Oh? So that means you _do_ like him?" Kaname asked as she wheeled a mannequin around, bringing it over to their place in the room. She couldn't even answer immediately. Seeing her expression, Kaname chuckled lightly. "Don't be so surprised if you like him Chihaya-chan. I mean _I, _for one, wouldn't be surprised if he's managed to catch every woman's attention here in this room. Hello, when the two of you went in together earlier, I just felt that every woman's radar here had gone on high alert." She laughed, and Kana-chan saw Chihaya's expression turn pale. "It's quite hard to believe it of him, you know. I mean an extremely good-looking, swoon-worthy guy like_ that_, still a bachelor? No way." She turned Chihaya's chair around.

Kana-chan felt that it was about time for her to step in. "Mou, Kaname-chan. You're quite evil as well, and I love you for that, but I think we need to focus on Chihaya-chan's fitting now. After all, we still have some items left on the agenda." She gave Chihaya a squeeze on the shoulders who seemed to snap out of her stupor.

Kaname pouted playfully but her lips stretched into a wide grin. "I do understand what you're getting at, Ms. Bride-to-Be. Chihaya-chan, please stand up."

And Chihaya, who still looked quite shaken, stood up and smiled over to them. "Once I'm done, Kana-chan, I'll help you out with all the wedding details still remaining." She said determinedly, making Kana-chan laugh.

"Perfect."

Kaname eased the beautiful, one-shouldered, butterfly-sleeved dress with a sweetheart neckline from the mannequin she had wheeled into their place, and Chihaya took it all in as Kaname handed It to her carefully, with all the grace of a show host. It was of a lovely midnight-blue color, with little crystals lining the neckline, accentuating the bust. The dress ruffled out it's silk skirt below, with a modest slit going into mid thigh.

Chihaya gasped. "Sugoi, Kana-chan. This… just looks so beautiful." She turned to her best girlfriend and gave her a tight, affectionate embrace. "I'm so glad I'm back. It's an honor… to be chosen as your maid of honor." She said, chuckling at her terrible pun.

Kana-chan sniffed as she returned her embrace. "There, there. You're making me cry, Chihaya-chan. I should be the one thankful. After all… you decided to go back for my wedding even when…" She trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

Chihyaya released her to look her in the eye. "I'm fine, Kana-chan. Don't worry about me. As I've said earlier, I won't miss the most important day of your life for anything in this world. I'm over the past." She realized, as she said it, that it was true. And that was a relief.

Kana-chan nodded, as Chihaya ruffled her hair. "Thank you for choosing me. I promise I'll be the best maid of honor ever."

Kana-chan laughed through the single tear that had made it's way down her cheek. "I'll be counting on that."

* * *

_**A/N: I'm not sure why, but I think I'm finding it quite difficult to write the chapters for this story harder than my first one. If ever I'll be late again in updating, I hope you understand guys that I want to write a good story. Love you all! :)**_

_**Appreciation to all those who left reviews. I'd love to hear more from you guys!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Alright!**_

_**So I'm back, bringing you the latest chapter. I didn't know if I'm really just inspired to write this because I finished this earlier than expected. Haha. Well, anything to keep my readers happy.**_

_**It always is a great encouragement for any author to see readers who expresses their enthusiasm with their stories. For this regard, I would like to thank the new reviewers. That was a great kick of encouragement from you, guys. **_

_**And so let's go to the chapter. I hope you like it!**_

* * *

**Wednesday**

_Pre-nuptial photo shoot_

_Wedding rehearsal_

_Dinner with the groom's family_

"This is your fault."

"Excuse me, how was this my fault?"

"You stick out like a sore thumb."

"You stick out more than I do!"

"How on earth will _I _stick out? You're the celebrity here."

"You're too tall and good-looking. In other words, conspicuous!"

Moot point. Taichi bit his tongue gently to avoid a biting retort. "Give me that. Just go into the car, start it up and I'll wait for you instead here at the front."

"What? Are you sure-?"

"_Yes._ Go out quickly out of the side entrance, keep to the sides and keep your head down. Go on, I could see a reporter coming."

Chihaya didn't waste any more time and followed his instructions. She whipped the keys from his outstretched left hand and darted so fast away from him in the blink of an eye like a dart. Left alone with five bags in each hand, Taichi squared his shoulders and raised his head, gripped the bags tightly and continued stepping forward, easily maneuvering his way into the entrance.

He had never been so grateful that there were a lot of people in one of Tokyo's famous malls today. It had helped him disappear into the crowd, and he whipped his shades out from his collar and slipped it easily into his eyes. It was also not the first time that he was thankful that he had grown quite tall- it gave him the advantage of slipping and weaving in without much difficulty through the crowd.

He couldn't understand why the arts and crafts store Chihaya had managed to commission the past week before she came home to create and design the would-be souvenirs and give-aways for their friends' wedding had decided to release the final products today, -when it was during the day that Wakamiya Shinobu, the former, also quite well-known Queen of Karuta was making a mall visit in order to teach kids live the art of karuta. As they had been slated as the best man and the maid of honor, it fell unto their shoulders the responsibility to pick those up. It was just their luck that the release had coincided with Wakamiya's mall tour, and also incredible misfortune that one of the media had taken a look around and happened to spot Chihaya, who had frozen beside him in response, her hand gripping half of the paper bags trembling.

Taichi had acted immediately, -he pulled her inside a jewelry store and pretended they were a couple choosing a ring before they could approach. What he hadn't anticipated was the store attendants managing to recognize Chihaya, and had started fawning over her, gushing about the last magazine she had been the cover of before she had gone to Seoul. Obviously starting to panic, he pulled her out of the store and led her fast away from it, where the media and 'witnesses' were starting to gather, nearly making her trip over herself a few times as they kept their heads down before more people recognized his best friend.

Thus, the short argument earlier.

He had given her the instructions to be the one to drive the car instead because at least, he wasn't that well-known. Even if the media managed to catch up to him, they won't be giving him much attention because he wasn't exactly a celebrity.

Taichi looked over his shoulder and saw them falter in front of a fast food chain, their eyes on him, one of them, -a short-haired woman of a medium build pulling out what looked like a walkie-talkie and speaking into it, shaking her head. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief when he saw them suddenly move towards him again, this time quicker and more determined.

He could almost hear Chihaya's voice in his head: _"You were saying?"_

_Shit._

He hurried down an escalator, bumping other mall enthusiasts and mumbling a hurried apology as they complained, watching him hurry his way down despite of the bags he was carrying in each hand, which he had raised above their heads.

_Why does this mall have to be this huge? If Otousan wanted another mall like this I'll be suggesting a few square meters instead. Saves space too._

Yes, this mall was owned by his father's company. It looked like his father's plan of asking a celebrity to pose for advertisement of the mall had paid off –big time.

Well of course it would pay off. Asking Nakahara Sunako, -one of the most well-known model-turned-celebrity and a good friend of his (him having met her during one of the business parties that his father had all but forced him to attend,) to advertise the mall was a brilliant idea. People would immediately buy it off from Sunako-chan, who has always been a favorite of the media, then and now.

He didn't want to curse the timing, but with Nakahara Sunako's popularity, of course people would come into the mall in droves. Whereas he'd been thankful to have so many people earlier, now he didn't feel that much grateful.

He wished that her popularity hadn't been effective this day too. It was practically a weekday, you know.

He was thankful when he spotted the double glass doors of the entrance, and he burst into a flat out sprint. He had always been thankful that he had kept himself fit enough. Who knew it would come in handy with these kinds of situations?

Taichi skidded to a stop outside, praying silently that Chihaya was already coming through the entrance. He thanked the heavens for her brilliant timing when he saw the silver Lexus turn a corner into the road leading to the mall's entrance, and he didn't waste time. He met the car halfway and once it stopped, he opened the back doors and all but deposited the bags inside in a hurry as Chihaya slid over into the other seat beside the driver's.

"Were they still following you?" She yelled over the combined background noise of people coming in and out of the mall.

He opened the driver's door opposite her and slid in easily, quickly strapping himself in and turning the wheel over with one hand. "Sometimes I don't know whether it's a good thing you're popular or not. Who knew you still had that effect with people?" He said without even so much as a hitch of breath, his tone indicating nothing else otherwise.

She smiled slyly over to him. "Feeling glad now that I asked you to teach me how to drive before?"

Taichi had to chuckle at that. "You were really horrible with it."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "That's because it was my first time! How could you expect me to immediately learn?" She asked, chuckling gently, and then suddenly turning morose as she looked over her shoulder. "Well, at least we've lost them. They… just probably want me to release a statement." She added, sounding quite uncomfortable and embarrassed. "After all, I left without an explanation a year ago. Now that I'm back, I'm sure they've been wanting to get a statement out of me."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Do you want to release one?"

She turned to look outside the window. "Probably, but not now. It's horrible timing, -with Kana-chan's wedding and all. I mean, I already had my own wedding ruined a year ago, I don't want to ruin hers too."

Taichi turned to look at the road as he maneuvered the car carefully into the highway. "Are you okay?" He decided to ask, because she looked suddenly tired and harried.

Chihaya turned to look at him. "I'm fine, Taichi."

He reached over and prodded her on the forehead with his forefinger. "I mean do you still need to talk? You look like you need one."

She pouted playfully, narrowing her auburn eyes at him. "I may have been a mess a year ago, but I'm fine now, Taichi. I've moved on already. Was that difficult to believe?"

"Are you telling me it's bad to worry for you?"

"There's no need. Thank you, but I don't want you to spend your energy worrying about trivial things." She said, her eyes darting outside the window again. Then as if remembering the souvenirs, she turned in her seat and reached for one of the pink bags on the back seat, and opened it to get one of the boxes out. She settled in her seat once again as she carefully opened it and pulled out the bubble wrap protecting the ceramic figurine which had been made specifically to look very much like the soon-to-be-wedded couple.

"Ah, it's beautiful." She gushed as she turned it around and showed it to Taichi. "Don't you think?"

He gave it a once-over. "Yeah, it is. You chose well. Kana-chan will be so happy."

What was her souvenir again? Ah, a glass figurine of a couple cutting a wedding cake. Kana-chan, who was supposed to be _her_ maid of honor, hadn't really liked it back then.

_Don't get me wrong, Chihaya-chan. It looks… relatively simple._

She had given it a great deal of thought, but chose to go with it anyway. Kana-chan had shrugged and let her have her way, but she could tell that her best girlfriend had a little been wary of choosing to go with it.

Compared to her supposed wedding, Kana-chan's was a lot less stressful. From the fitting to everything else, all she needed to do was show up and suggest things, give opinions that were taken into consideration. This figurine in fact, was her idea, and she was honored that Kana-chan trusted her enough to decide to go with it.

Hers, she had to admit, had been quite… complicated. While she had gotten used to deciding for herself and planning for other things as she grew up over the years and matured, she had to admit that planning for a wedding hadn't been the easiest thing to do. It hadn't been much of a thing for her.

Chitose had of course, helped, and stopped her from wearing a hakama for her own wedding, much to her family's laughter and amusement. She joked that her theme would be karuta, which had earned her a bonk on the head around that time.

_Do you want Arata-kun to run away from you in horror? Please decide like a normal bride-to-be!_

She had laughed and scratched her head, not realizing that she shouldn't have expended that much effort if only she had the power to discern the future and had seen that the wedding wouldn't be happening.

Chihaya held up her right hand, looking at the ring she was wearing on her middle finger. It was red and threaded, the threads making a pattern of flowers as it wove itself around her finger. It was intricate, -she could imagine the effort the ringmaker had placed on it.

"Is it just me, or does this ring actually look good on me?" She asked, as Taichi honked loudly at a driver who had suddenly zipped in their lane, swearing a bit to himself which he hadn't done for a long time now.

"Yep, it does. Sure fits you." He responded absentmindedly, once the swearing had subsided, his full attention still on the road as she grinned over to him.

"Thanks for buying me this. You do know how to make a girl feel special, you know." She teased, grinning widely at him sideways as she continued inspecting the ring.

Taichi had bought that ring earlier for her when he had pulled her in that jewelry shop, as an apologetic gesture to the shop attendants who they had disturbed around that time when they were busy hiding from the media.

"Excuse me, you sure you're a girl? Where, exactly?" He teased, which caused her to sock him on his right arm. "Ow! Do you want Kana-chan to kill me if I got you in an accident? You really should start learning how to take a joke." He complained, snorting in laughter, and she couldn't help but join afterwards. "But really, now that I think about it, I _think_ it's not a good idea buying you that."

"Ouch. That hurt, baka. And _why_ do you think that?" She demanded, suddenly turning serious.

"Because they recognized you. They were watching your movements." He reasoned out, as she frowned. "Anything you do, we have to be careful. If I were you, I'll be bracing myself for the headline on the news later evening, or maybe tomorrow." He stopped as the traffic light changed to red. "Mystery man buys the former Queen of Karuta, Ayase Chihaya a ring." He added, mimicking a reporter, sounding half-joking and half-serious.

Despite of the sudden annoyance that she felt, she had to laugh at that. "Is it just me, or is your brain getting fatter all of a sudden?"

"I've _always_ had a fat brain. If that's how you put it anyway -I need to have one, because I'm a doctor." He said, sounding strangely exasperated and worried that it really got to her nerves.

Chihaya leaned back, doing her best to hide her sudden irritation. "If you're just going to think that it's a bad idea that you bought me this ring then just take this back." She said, her tone sounding clipped, as she removed the ring and held it in her palm sideways, extending her hand out to him.

Taichi glanced at her, fixing her a disbelieving, penetrating amber stare, refusing to take her outstretched hand. "Who said I'm taking that back?" His tone sounded bewildered and mildly offended. What started out as a simple statement was turning into a sudden argument.

"I did."

"And why should I?"

"You just said earlier that it's a mistake buying me this." She fixed her stare at everything outside, refusing to meet his gaze, which she could feel was burning a hole at her left side.

"I said it's not a good idea. I'm just worried about the ladies in that store who saw you. You know how news travels fast." He responded, with all the patience he could muster as he blatantly ignored her still-outstretched hand.

Chihaya looked at him with her auburn eyes wide in surprise. "Since _when_ have you started caring about what other people might think?" She demanded, fixing him an intense auburn gaze as her arm lowered unconsciously.

"Since _when_ did you start forgetting you're a celebrity?" He shot back, as the light finally turned green. He stepped on the gas, even when Chihaya continued staring at him in surprise.

"I am no longer a celebrity. Hell, I left Japan a year ago! I gave up being the Queen. I_ gave_ up karuta." Her eyes were tearing up unexpectedly, unsure where all the tears were suddenly coming from. She sounded surprised and hurt as she felt something stab her chest as she recalled karuta, and her fists clenched on her lap.

"You're _not_ a celebrity? Made me suddenly wonder why the media is chasing after us earlier." He pointed out, with that sarcastic tone that she had always known him to be famous in and she actually had grown fond of. He wouldn't be Taichi without that tone that he always used whenever he had to make a point.

"They just want me to release a statement. After that they'll leave me alone. There's nothing about me that will interest them anymore. I was a coward, a traitor who had turned her back on karuta." She sniffed heavily, as she all but held the tears threatening to suddenly fall as she admitted that.

He sighed, turned the wheel over uncaringly, and parked at the highway shoulder. He turned to look at her, as she did her best to stop the tears from flowing. Her lips were quavering, -it reminded him of a little girl who was trying her best not to cry because she had fallen hard while running and had scraped her knee, and she was blinking wildly just to hold the tears in.

"Don't stop it." He said in a gentle tone, his voice more controlled and understanding.

"I don't want to cry again, Taichi. I'm over that already." She said, even when her voice broke in the end. "I have no more tears left."

He shook his head. She had never changed out of her hardheadedness. "Apparently, there's one more thing you hadn't gotten over with. And it has nothing to do with Arata."

Her tears had gotten past her eyes. One tear dropped on the back of her hand, followed by an another, then another, until she couldn't help but let a miserable sigh escape her lips.

She lowered her head, and closed her eyes as she finally allowed the tears to fall. And Taichi, always the dear, caring best friend that he is, sighed and turned sideways, gently taking her into his arms, as she sank back into his chest, allowing the memories to finally drift in.

* * *

_**Then**_

* * *

"I… I don't understand." Her voice sounded close to whispering, unwilling to speak loudly. Her hands and her legs were starting to shake, and sweat had appeared on her forehead. Despite of the fact that it was cool inside the cozy café they were sitting in, she somehow felt as if the temperature outside had worked it's way into her bones, filling her with unusual heat.

The man sitting across her was fixing her a serious, sapphire-eyed gaze. "I'm sure you understand what I had just told you, Chihaya."

Her ears were ringing, and her hands had clenched unconsciously around her cup of coffee. Somehow, the chocolate crepe she had ordered to go with it didn't make her mouth water as well as it had earlier.

"…Why?" She asked monosyllabically, in a confused tone.

She couldn't understand. No. He couldn't say that. Him, of all people… He couldn't just possibly…

"Chihaya." He just responded in a disapproving sort of voice. "Do you really want me to repeat everythin' I had just said?"

She looked up to him, her eyes blank, seeming lost and confused, which as seconds passed, slowly started narrowing at him. "I do believe you hadn't explained yourself. Do you think marriage is a joke, Arata?" She asked, her tone still confused, but already infused with a hard undertone, -something which he had thought he would never hear from her.

"We can't do it." He repeated, this time, sounding more sure than ever. "We can't go through this wedding, Chihaya. I am very sorry." He refused to meet her gaze, which he couldn't take, but he sounded with more conviction than earlier.

Her brain refused to accept it. "I am asking you _why, _Arata. Explain to me why you're doing this, please." Against her better judgment, she started to sound pleading. "I don't understand. Did I do anything wrong?"

Arata fixed her with an apologetic gaze, his eyes conveying he didn't want to do this, but had no choice but to do it, anyway. "It's not somethin' you did, Chihaya. It's-"

"It's not you, it's me, is that it?" She didn't know what to feel right now, to be honest. She was hurt, no doubt. But she couldn't understand his reasoning. Or maybe that was just her brain refusing to accept what was happening.

She loved him with all her heart. There was no question about that. He had been the one who had given her a goal, which came to be her first experience of a real dream. She didn't have any real goal in life before, only wishing to see her sister become one of Japan's top models, but when he came, she finally had a dream. Something that she wanted to achieve by any means in life. Something to look forward for herself. He had shown her the light.

But now…

Now, the light was threatening to disappear.

And she didn't know what it is that she did.

"We can't continue goin' through this, Chihaya." Arata finally gave in, explaining in what seemed to her as a calm tone. That was one of the things he had always been good at. Even in the most dire of the situations, Wataya Arata knew how to be calm. Unshakable. Immovable. Like a rock resisting the powerful waves of the sea.

It was just as Kana-chan had described before. What was that word again?

Ah.

_Impassionate…_

"We cannot do this. We are goin' to make a mistake." He continued, his voice sounding more urgent than trying to explain why he was all of a sudden backing out of his promise. "We're… We are not for each other."

At this, she suddenly bristled, the hairs on her arms standing up, as if she was a porcupine being threatened by a bigger predator. "What?" She demanded, her tone starting to rise as her fists shook and she tried to steady them. Arata was making it hard for her to remain calm.

"You heard me." Arata responded, in a steely calm sort-of tone which she admired from him, even when she couldn't make sense of what he was saying. Nothing he was saying was actually making sense to her. It sounded like meaningless gargles coming from his mouth. "It's a mistake that I asked you to do this with me. I thought, once we were together for a long time, that it would get better for me. I was never so wrong in my entire life." Here the hurt trickled in his voice, even when he did his best not to let her hear it.

Now _that_ was really confusing. "Are you saying you regret asking me to marry _you?_" Her tone was undeniably hurt, and he could feel his heart breaking with it. He had never imagined that he would be the one who will make her experience this pain, but he had no other choice. He knew that Chihaya would be making an even bigger mistake if she married him, when it was clear to him that she wasn't even as close to loving him more than a friend.

He had thought, when she told him that she loved him as well, that Chihaya had known and had thought of her feelings for him very well. After all, Chihaya was the kind of woman who wouldn't lie of her feelings, if she even can. She was a very honest woman after all, and she sucked terribly in lying. He knew this.

And Mashima Taichi, his childhood friend, had always known this as well.

But the moment they had been together, Arata couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Not between the two of them, -but with the _entire_ relationship. Something felt incomplete. Missing.

He had thought that he was just imagining it, but as the months and weeks passed, turning to years, it became clear to him that something just wasn't right. And the revelation came to him when one day, he had chanced upon the two of them in one of the music rooms of Todai.

His last class had started late, and his professor had dismissed them even later than usual, level-setting their expectations. As they were in their final year, each grade they would have would be a crucial factor as to whether they would be graduating this year or not. Knowing that he would have to skip club practice, he had asked Chihaya not to wait for him instead, and she in turn asked if she could go with Taichi and watch a recital going to be given by the orchestra club.

"_Kana-chan and the rest are going to be watching it too! You sure you don't want me to wait for you?"_

He had declined, saying that he was going to be late anyway, and instead made her promise to ask Taichi to take her back into her dorm instead afterwards. She had replied with a cheerful _"Okay, love you!"_ which hadn't failed to make his day complete.

On one side, it bothered him that she was going to see a recital with Taichi, instead of _him_. He was the boyfriend after all, for crying out loud. But lately his studies had started to become more demanding that he could barely sleep properly, and he had been leaving Chihaya by herself more often than had been usual.

_But Taichi had always made time for her…_

He knew that Taichi also had the same feelings for Chihaya. That was the unspoken truth between the two of them. Taichi didn't have to tell him that out loud. Amazingly though, he had never contested his feelings for her, and he didn't know whether he should be grateful for that or not. He had just let the two of them be, but it hadn't escaped his notice that he had tried every possible way of avoiding them whenever the two of them were together. He knew that the guy had to be just as busy as him, maybe even _more_ busy than him as a medical student, but he had always found the time to tolerate Chihaya's whims at the drop of a hat.

Whereas he couldn't even do that…

Once the class had been dismissed, he had checked his phone, trying to see if Chihaya had any messages of having been able to return to her dorm, but he found none. Slightly puzzled, as it was already seven in the evening, he decided to check if they were still around the campus.

His footsteps had led him to the performing arts building which had their own auditorium, but something told him they weren't there. After all, the recital may have been over already an hour ago.

And then, as he stood in the hallway, he noticed that one of the lights in the third floor was still on. Without even noticing that he was doing it, his foot turned and followed the light down the hall, and he found himself taking the flight of stairs leading to the third floor. As he began getting nearer, he heard music floating down the hall. As if in a trance, he followed the wonderful sound.

He saw a room open with the door slightly ajar. He recognized this floor as the one where practice rooms, -which were used by Todai students who were Music majors, - were located. Once in a while, other students were also allowed to use the rooms, probably to help let off steam and pressure from studies.

He realized that he was listening to 'Moonlight Sonata', one of Beethoven's most famous works. It was being played on piano, and he couldn't help but feel drawn to the sound. The player had managed to make the song alive, -it reminded him of a dark night where the full moon was out, and a song was floating around him. it made him recall, against his will, memories of his loving grandfather, and unconsciously, a tear slipped down his cheek.

It was a love song being sang without words.

He approached the room, against his better judgment, and saw two figures sitting on a bench by the grand piano situated in the center of the spacious practice room. He recognized the first one as Chihaya's and the other one as Taichi's.

He was the one playing, and Chihaya was watching him closely, her face concentrated, watching his fingers dance across the keys. For some reason, Arata felt as if he was unwelcome- like he was a trespasser in this moment, an unwanted audience standing by the door, listening carefully at the music, and watching his two best friends share it together.

By the time the song ended, Chihaya's tears were flowing down her face, her hand across her mouth. He was about to rush at her side to comfort her, but then remembered that none of them were aware that he was even there and had been listening, and he took a step back warily.

After all, he was also crying.

"Chihaya no baka." He heard Taichi scold his girlfriend lightly, laughter in his voice. "Why are you such a crybaby?" He got out a handkerchief and wiped the tears from her eyes, as she sniffed heavily. As soon as he was done, she grabbed the handkerchief and blew her nose on it. While Arata had chuckled quietly at Chihaya's behavior, Taichi didn't even bat an eyelash, just watching her wipe her nose carelessly with the fabric.

"S-Sorry… I-I couldn't help it…" Chihaya had muttered, still sniffing heavily. "Man, Taichi. You are just so unfair. I didn't even know you could play the piano…" she added shakily, "That song was just… it just touched me." She had looked at Taichi with an expression Arata had yet to place. "What was the title of that song?" She asked, as Taichi turned to the keys again, pressing one key lightly. The sound echoed around the place.

"Moonlight Sonata." He responded, pressing a few more keys. The tune was familiar to him, but he couldn't place where he had heard it from. "It's one of Beethoven's masterpieces."

Chihaya had glanced at the keys he was lightly pressing. "It sounds so… romantic. And lonely in a way." She said, as Taichi continued pressing random keys lightly, the tune earlier dissipating.

"Beethoven wrote the piece for a seventeen year-old girl he had fallen in love with," he said, which made Arata stiffen by the door as he unintentionally listened with their conversation. He didn't want to eavesdrop- hell, he it wasn't a habit of his to listen to other people's talk, - but this was his rival and his girlfriend talking. He stood, rooted by the doorway. "He never had the chance to tell her about it, so he wrote the piece. It was sort of a love song created for an unrequited love, you know."

Arata's heart had started beating faster in his chest. He could see Taichi's gaze still fixated in front of him, but his expression had completely changed.

Chihaya was looking at him with a rather curious look on her face. "Really? So… does that mean you were in love with someone as well, Taichi?"

Arata couldn't explain the sudden fear that gripped his heart, his feet frozen as he stared in horror at the scene unfolding in front of him. No matter which way he looked at it, this looked very much like a confession he had unknowingly barged in.

For one wild moment, he thought Taichi would finally make her aware of his feelings, but to his amazement, the man only laughed out loud and ruffled Chihaya's hair.

"Just because you're together with Arata doesn't mean everyone's in love like you." Taichi still chuckled, though Arata could see that the laughter hadn't extended to his eyes. "No, I'm not. Unfortunately."

Chihaya's expression was one of bewilderment. "B-But that's impossible! The way you played Moonlight Sonata? Feelings can't be faked! Mou, you're lying!"

Arata had watched the two of them banter, Taichi teasing her and vehemently denying his love, Chihaya forcing him to admit the truth. And then and there, he realized one thing as he watched Chihaya closely.

Her smile. Her laugh. The way her eyes lit up whenever Taichi joked.

It was different.

It had become a pattern over the years. There was the old fear, Arata had to admit. But Taichi had kept his word.

"_I am not going to take her from you. I have no plans of telling her what I feel. I ask only one thing."_ He recalled Taichi telling him, when they had finally touched upon the subject of the two of them being together. It was the one thing they both couldn't avoid. They would have to talk about it sooner or later.

"_You take care of her. I can't do that as often as I would want now, so it's your responsibility. And when I say that, I do mean _taking_ care of her."_ Taichi had told him, not really asking a favor, but ordering him in a way that only he could do. _"Don't make her cry, Arata. Because if you do, rest assured I'll be here to make you regret it."_

As the years passed, Arata had tried to ignore that wrong feeling that had always followed him around. And it was one of the reasons why he had suddenly proposed to Chihaya.

It had been wrong of him to suddenly decide to do that, but what could he say? He was still human.

But more and more as the wedding date approached did he realize that there really is something wrong with everything regarding their relationship. And he couldn't stand the thought that Chihaya was going to be with the wrong person her entire life.

It was for this reason that he was doing this now. He had to correct his mistakes before it was too late. Better to hurt her now than cause her misery for the rest of her life.

Better for him to hurt himself for her sake.

"No." Arata had finally responded to her question, which made her flinch unconsciously, as if his words were a whip instead of just being _words_. "We… We shouldn't have been together in the first place. I'm sorry. We are making a mistake."

Her eyes had widened. "What?" Her face had gone pale, which had made him flinch inwardly, as if she had just slapped him. "H-How are we making a mistake? Explain it to me,_ please_, Arata." She looked as if she was ready to throw up.

He sighed, taking a deep breath, mustering his courage and steeling himself at what he was about to say. "You don't love me, Chihaya."

Chihaya stared at him with a bewildered, open-mouthed expression. She would have looked rather ridiculous, but this was not a laughing matter. She felt as if she had gone deaf, because she couldn't understand what he was saying. "W-What? I don't understand what you're talking about Arata!" She had exclaimed, trying her best not to raise her voice, because other people were turning to stare at them. "For so long we were together, and now all of a sudden you say things like _that?_" She demanded, unable to figure out why Arata was doing this.

"I wasn't the one you love, Chihaya." He repeated, and this time, Arata knew it was true.

"T-That's not true…" Chihaya didn't know what to say as she felt her world fall in around her. Her brain was refusing to accept what the current Meijin had been saying. It all felt as if the air was being sucked out of her lungs. "That's not true and you know it…"

He leaned forward, and against his will, took her hands into his, which he could feel were shaking uncontrollably. "I'm not accusing you, Chihaya. But you have to listen to me." He said, his voice more urgent this time again. "I am not the right one for you. I have seen it, even years ago. But I was so scared of losing you, and I just…" he trailed off, not knowing how else to explain his idiocy to her. "I am so sorry I have let this go on for so long."

She shook her head vehemently, refusing to acknowledge what he was saying, but Arata held onto her hands as if it was his lifeline. "I know it's hard to believe it, Chihaya. But I know you don't love me. I wasn't the one for you."

She was still shaking her head. "Usotsuki. Liar." Chihaya said, quietly, and seeing her expression, Arata's heart just broke.

She looked like a lost child, confused, overwhelmed and bewildered. He wanted to take his words back, but Arata couldn't. He didn't want to, because he knew that it was a mistake, and just taking it back would be an another brilliant display of his idiocy.

And he isn't willing to. He had stolen her from the one person who should have been with her. Four years were more than enough.

"I am so sorry I have let this go on for so long." He repeated, feeling like a pathetic fool. "I know no amount of apology would make you forgive me, but all the same, I'm hoping that one day you will be able to."

"Usotsuki…" She repeated, and Arata knew he deserved the hurt he was feeling right now. She had looked at him, then, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "If you were just going to leave me, you shouldn't have asked me to marry you in the first place…"

The tears had also formed in his eyes. "I-I am so sorry, Chihaya."

She tore her hands away from his grasp, as it finally sank into her brain that all of this were really happening, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. "Leave me alone, Arata." Her tone was steely, as she tried her best to calm down.

"Chihaya-"

"Just leave me alone, Arata. Leave me be." She said, turning to finally gaze outside the window of the café. "You've done enough."

And Arata, having no other choice, stood up and left her, and _his_ heart, right in that spot.

* * *

It was already established that the supposed wedding had been a disaster. What hurt Chihaya the most was the effect it had on her.

She soon discovered that she couldn't play karuta without her remembering him. It was a side-effect, if you could call it that. Everywhere she looked, every time she tried to take a card, she could see his shadow, his silhouette, as if taunting her, playing around with her. And the memories would begin to drift in, and she would feel as if her heart was being sliced open.

Arata… her dream… her goal.

All of that was gone, so all of a sudden that she felt as if the world had swept her off her feet.

That hurt her so much that Taichi had to restrain her from just throwing away her deck of cards. She had gotten so fed up one day that she had just decided to have it shredded and thrown away.

It was probably a good thing that he had visited her back in her parents' house that day. People from her work who knew him, (and who had never failed to refer to him as the 'proper boyfriend') had been calling him or mailing him, asking where she was because she hadn't even shown up for their scheduled shoots. At first he had thought that she had just needed time alone, until Tsuboguchi-san informed him as well that she had skipped several practice matches already.

"You're going to regret that tomorrow." He had told her patiently, barging in her room unceremoniously, catching her just about ready to shred her deck of cards. She had not been in the mood to be reprimanded that she had yelled at him and told him to leave her the freaking hell alone. But he hadn't even flinched.

"You want to hit something? Go ahead and hit me. I'm here as your personal punching bag. Go on. I'll take it."

That had gotten her speechless, as did her father and mother. They were witnesses when that entire exchange between the two of them had happened.

He had grabbed her fist, -which was so tightly curled around itself that he thought she was enduring the pain of her fingernails already, - and made it sock his chest. "What? You're mad right? Go on and hit me. But I want you to promise me that you won't throw your cards, OR even act remotely like this tomorrow. You understand, Ayase?"

She had stared at him, completely bewildered and caught off-guard. And then slowly, like a crystal weathered and beaten, she started breaking in front of his eyes.

She sobbed. For days after the whole break-up scenario, she had finally cried.

Taichi had held her in his arms for the rest of the night. She didn't even know what time it was that she was able to sleep. All she knew was that she had cried endlessly on Taichi's shirt, and he had never said anything, just allowing her to use him as her pillow and her own, personal shock-absorber.

So the cause of her pain really, wasn't that Arata had called the wedding off. It was something else entirely, one that she couldn't easily accept for herself.

The one who had given her a dream, a _goal_, was the last person she had thought would do this to her. But man, was she so spectacularly wrong in that department.

Arata had given her karuta as a gift.

And he also had taken it away from her.

* * *

_**I have to say, I've been a bit scared to update too long. Hahaha. Appreciate everyone who left reviews! Let me hear more from you guys. It always helps!**_

_**Thank you all and see you in the next chapters!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Yeah. So this is the fifth chapter already.**_

_**I think I should warn you guys. The first part was a bit full of drabbles- I think, I'm not entirely sure. Haha. I'm still not quite familiar with those terms. Ugh. A bit on that side, but all the same, I did my best to write a good chapter.**_

_**Anyways, I hope you find this to your liking.**_

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

Taichi pulled the car to a stop in front of Chihaya's home. They hadn't talked for the rest of the drive home, which was just as well, seeing as the both of them were not in the mood. But the atmosphere was comfortable, and they were both silent, just basking in it. He shut off the engine, and they just sat there, not speaking at all.

She finally turned to him when it looked like neither of them were planning to move. "I-I'm sorry, Taichi." She said, sounding sheepish and embarrassed without a doubt.

He sighed, uncomfortably so. "I'm sorry as well, Chihaya." He gave her a glance sideways. "I was just worried about you. You know how horrible people these days were now. With your celebrity status… I… just don't want you to get hurt." He finished lamely, not knowing how else to phrase it.

She looked at him slyly, managing to give him a teasing smile. "Well… there _is_ one thing I'd like you to do for me to forgive you."

Seeing her expression, Taichi groaned out loud. "With that look on your face, Chihaya, I could just tell you weren't planning something good."

Chihaya pouted, drawing his attention to those full, cherry-red lips. He felt himself swallow hard as he caught himself staring. _Dammit, Taichi. Now is not the time to daydream. Act like the man you're supposed to be._

She reached her hand out, her palm opened. As he looked closer, he saw the red, threaded ring settled in the middle of her palm. "Put it on again." She asked, half-jokingly, half-wistfully.

He blanched. "What? Can't you just do it?" He asked in a careless tone, unconsciously sounding quite harsh as Chihaya gave him a playful glare.

"Well, if you put it on for me, at least I know you haven't regretted buying me this ring, you know." She said pointedly, smiling over to him gently. "So… will you, or will you not?" She jokingly taunted, as the color tainted Taichi's cheeks and he turned to the other side to hide it for a moment.

_Argh. This woman…_

As always, him, the spoiling, tolerating best friend, gave in to her whim.

He turned to her sideways, and ever-so-carefully lifted the ring from her palm. He then turned her right hand over, and as if reading what she was about to say as her mouth opened the tiniest bit, -he slipped the ring back on- on her right ring finger instead.

As the ring reached the end of her finger, she felt something click inside her.

_Huh?_

Her heart started beating hard against her chest. Hell, it even felt as if it wanted to get out of her chest, for some unknown reason.

Smiling at her surprised reaction, he bent and touched his lips to her knuckles, with all the grace of an old-world gentleman, that she felt the blood rush to her cheeks, covering it in rosy, healthy blush.

What was she doing? Blushing like an eighteen-year old…

The touch of his lips against her skin had sent her pulse skyrocketing and a thousand electrical sensations curl down all the way from her head down to the tips of her toes that she unconsciously shivered. Her eyes had widened, and she felt the breath whoosh out of her lungs. It all felt as if her asking him to put that ring on had made them pass an invisible line.

_I really don't… understand…_

She recognized the feeling. It was the giddy feeling of someone who _likes_ someone.

The thing is, she had felt this before with Arata. What she couldn't understand, was why she was feeling it with Taichi as well and what was even more confusing was that… the feeling is more intense.

_Don't tell me…_

"There. Happy?" Taichi asked, a grin still on his lips. Seeing her confused expression, his forehead creased into a frown. "Chihaya. You okay? Do you feel sick again?" He stared at her, wondering why she was looking like that.

She shook her head, as if she was trying to shake away unwanted thoughts. "That reminds me. How was the bachelor party?"

He stiffened all of a sudden, and then a sly grin made it's way into his lips. "And _why_ are you asking?"

She sniffed knowingly, turning away from him and crossing her arms over her chest. "Is it wrong of me to be curious? You guys did _have_ a party. Of course I'd like to hear what happened, you know." She then looked at him again with a sly smile on her lips. "Are there… you know, women involved?"

Taichi just stared at her, his amber eyes gauging her expression. He wasn't even sure if he should tell her. Well it's not like there is something to hide, but he was… somehow curious as to how she would react. "Chihaya, if you don't really want to hear the answer, you shouldn't be asking those kinds of questions." He said pointedly and teasingly that she reddened, the blood rushing to her cheeks and making him use all of his self-control just not to reach out and run his knuckles along her cheek.

"So there really _are_ women?" Chihaya's face drained off it's color that Taichi felt sorry for teasing her like that. "Y-You moron!" She exclaimed, her dark eyes narrowing at him in sudden anger and incredible sense of possessiveness.

Taichi sort-of deflected her glare as he reached over and ruffled her hair, much to her consternation. "Get your mind out of the gutter, sweetheart, before you get too jealous. No, there aren't any women involved, because we're not those kinds of guys." He reassured her as she swatted his hand away, only for him to catch her hand and hold it in his.

"W-What are you talking about? I-I'm not jealous." She lowered her gaze, averting her gaze from him, but her hand which he still held in his was shaking. As to why, she didn't want to think about it too much.

Taichi stared at her, fixing her with an unrelenting look. He was just joking, because hell, why on earth would she even be jealous, -but he had always known her the best of anyone, and her actions right now told him the _exact_ opposite of what she was saying.

"You were never good at lying, Chihaya." He muttered quietly, as she shivered unconsciously and looked up to him, meeting his amber gaze, her own auburn irises widening in quiet surprise and embarrassment. "At least not to me. You honestly expect me to believe what you're saying when you're not even looking at me?" His tone turned lighter and teasing in the end, but his eyes remained serious.

She swallowed at his intense gaze, as she felt the blood once again cover her cheeks. "I-I'm not exactly jealous, you know. I-I'm just concerned, that's all. I mean we don't want any… unwanted incidents to happen especially that their wedding date is getting nearer…" she said, though she found herself wincing at the lie. "I-I mean, I don't want a repeat performance of what had happened a year ago to my best girlfriend…"

He stared at her for a minute longer, and bit his lip. Chihaya was not really good when it came to denying things, -that was why it had been clear to them years ago that she was not made for contesting cards, because she wasn't that good when it came to reasoning- but he didn't want to push her into it. Besides, he didn't want to let himself start hoping for nothing. To her, he was just a dear, childhood friend, one she could always count on, and lean on, nothing more, nothing less. The line with which he was standing in, the role which he had taken in for himself, was clearly cut out to be just that.

Taichi had long accepted that, so he wasn't about to change and start hoping once again. His heart had been broken years ago, and he isn't willing to have it broken again, not when it was just beginning to mend. Well it wasn't as close to perfect before he had fallen in love with a girl who had her eyes fixed on someone else, but it was starting to mend, all the same.

In response, he exhaled a large breath out and leaned backwards, relaxing his stiff shoulders, which, only then did he realize was actually tensed up. "Well that's a shame. I thought I was finally beginning to make Ayase Chihaya a bit more jealous than she would care to admit." He said teasingly, though he had completely turned away from her, and his teasing tone hadn't actually reached his eyes. "Better luck next time huh?"

Chihaya couldn't understand the overwhelming need to suddenly comfort him, as strange and weird that may sound. She opened her mouth to say something, but then he turned to her with a teasing glint in his eyes. "I guess we should start moving, slowpoke. We still have a wedding rehearsal to attend, you know."

She didn't get a chance to respond as he opened the door on his side and stepped out, and proceeded to the back seat to get some of the bags out. Before she could do more than get out of the car as well, he was already there, opening the car door for her as well.

_Always the gentleman…_

She offered to get some of the bags from him but he just shook his head and asked her to open the gates for him instead. She did as he asked and was greeted by her parents, and Taichi had to bend to kiss her mother on the cheek, to which her mom had ruffled his hair as he chuckled aloud.

Watching them, she couldn't help but think how Taichi fitted in so easily with her family. Chihaya hadn't always been good with trying to read ties with other people, but she could see, even now, how Taichi just… belonged with her family, almost as if they were _his_ family. Well, of course she knew that he _did_ think of them as his family as well, but there was that feeling that… this is where he truly belonged.

Okay, so that wasn't making any sense.

"I thought you have already gone back to work, Taichi-kun." Her mom was asking as they sat down on the kitchen first after they had placed the souvenirs on the couches. Her mom had invited him to come in, and Taichi had accepted, after looking at his watch- probably gauging if they were going to be late for the rehearsal.

"Please prepare tea for him, Chihaya." Her mom said to her in a low tone, before continuing the conversation. Taichi gave her a playful pinch on her waist as she passed by, and she retaliated by pulling mercilessly at a handful of his hair that he winced.

Her mom just watched the two of them, a fond smile on her lips as Chihaya stuck out a tongue at him and proceeded to boil some water. His eyes still on her, Taichi responded to her mother's question. "…Well, I decided to take a leave, Obaachan. Best man duties, and I need to be there for the wedding preparations. You know… running errands and stuff."

"It's a good thing they allowed you that."

"Well, I haven't really used any of my leave credits since I started with them. The director was all but pushing me to take a leave for _months_. It was a huge relief for him when I asked for the entire week off, even if it was practically on such short notice." He said, chuckling as Chihaya gave him a glare.

"Perks of being a workaholic." She said bitingly, in a joking tone that he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You got a problem with that?" Taichi asked, snorting as she rolled her eyes in response.

Her mom was chuckling at their antics. "Well I'm glad to see you at least taking days off, though I'm not so sure if you've managed to rest as well as you should have when you've looked after Chihaya."

Taichi laughed. "If you only knew, Obaachan. Chihaya wouldn't stop sleep-talking all night."

She swatted him on the arm as she sat down beside him, waiting for the water to boil as her mom shared a laugh with him. "What had she been saying?"

He gave her a shrewd look as she all but glared at him. " Mostly she was mumbling incoherent words, but all the same, she's rested well."

That _wasn't_ entirely true, by the way. It's true that for the beginning of her incessant muttering she was incoherent, but near the middle she started mumbling something else, something which hadn't made sense to him at all.

He hadn't given it much thought seeing as how busy he was for the past day, but he allowed himself to recall them with perfect clarity as her mom asked him regarding his childhood friend's behavior.

At first he had thought that he was just dreaming, but he realized later on, around four in the morning, that she was _actually_ murmuring _his_ name. It hadn't made any sense to him as to why she would have done so, but there she was, muttering his name incoherently, plus a few other words he couldn't understand.

He had dismissed it as probably a form of her unconscious telling him how much she missed him, (he had read that in some psychology books about how the unconscious manages to take over the conscious part of mind and lets a person's true emotions show) and him, of course, couldn't help himself from feeling glad that that was how much he missed him. Knowing that she would have been confused if he told her that when she had asked him yesterday about it, he had refrained from telling her that and instead, kept it to himself.

So of course, there was also no way he could tell her mother. The last thing he wanted was for them to get the wrong idea.

"Chihaya has always been like that. Sometimes you'll know if she likes someone when she murmurs his name in her sleep. Do you remember that boy you had a crush on?"

"Okaasan!" Chihaya exclaimed as she blushed furiously and Taichi turned to her with a merciless, teasing grin.

"How come I hadn't heard about any of that? What was that all about, Obaachan?"

"Well you see, Chihaya once had a crush on one of her middle-school classmates-"

"-Mom!"

"-And I found out about it because she was murmuring about the crush when she had fallen asleep one time on the family car. Imagine her expression when I told her that." Chihaya's mom laughed as she all but blushed furiously beside Taichi, who was laughing along with her mom.

"So that means you _did_ have a crush on someone other than your ex-fiancé." Taichi nudged her jokingly on her side, not worrying at all with his reminder of Arata to her, seeing as she just rolled her eyes at him. Well, at least, that part she really seemed to have been over with already. "Congratulations. You really are a girl then."

She swatted him on the arm as she glared at him, her eyes narrowed that it was in danger of disappearing into slits. "For _your_ information, Taichi, I liked the kid because he was- he was also interested in karuta." She faltered in the end, and her mom slowed her laughter down as she and Taichi shared a look.

Her mom's expression turned slightly worried, but Taichi was there to distract her.

"Hmm.. so since I've been playing karuta since I was a kid, that means you like me as well?" He teased, with no real meaning behind the words. It was just for the sake of distracting Chihaya from negative thoughts that he said that. He knew he couldn't allow himself to have that kind of thinking, especially after all this time that he was still utterly, completely, _hopelessly_ in love with her.

To his surprise, Chihaya blushed again, and she averted her gaze from him. "D-Don't get too cocky, Mashima. Just because you gave me this ring doesn't mean I-I like you already."

But she couldn't look straight at him.

Her mom was looking back and forth between the two of them as Taichi didn't bother teasing her further. "What ring are we talking about?"

And Chihaya, grateful for the subject change, turned to her mom and showed her the ring still on her ring finger. Her mom gushed. "My, that's a beautiful one. You gave it to her, Taichi-kun? What's the occasion?"

"It's a we're-sorry-to-disturb-you gesture to the jewelry shop attendants, Obaachan."

"Huh?"

Chieko listened closely as they both recounted what had happened earlier. Her expression turned worried when they finished. "Do you think you should stay home, Chihaya? Just for a while?" She asked, gripping her daughter's hand in her right one.

Chihaya shook her head. "No, 'Kaasan. I'll be fine. Taichi's with me… I-I'll be fine with him." She said, her tone sounding scared at the prospect that she will have to hide for a few days in their home with nothing better to do than think.

"But Chihaya, Taichi-kun will not always be there to watch over you… he also has himself to-"

"Obaachan." Taichi stepped in, calming Chihaya's worried mother down. "Don't worry too much about Chihaya. She's right, I can always watch over her. That's why I'm here." He rubbed her mom's back gently. "Don't get too worried, Obaachan. At your age, you should be relaxing instead."

Her mom turned to him. "But you also have your work…"

"You know, Chihaya, I think we should bring your mom to a nice spa one of these days."

"Oh I know a good one!"

Her mother blanched at the prospect of a spa, as she hadn't been much of a fan of those, but it distracted her effectively from worrying over her. Chihaya threw him a grateful look, until her mother remembered his tea and scolded her for forgetting it.

As soon as he was done, they both excused themselves to be able to proceed to the rehearsal. As soon as Taichi stepped out though, her mom pulled her aside for the moment.

"Take care of the ring." Chieko murmured to her in a low tone as Chihaya looked at her with a confused and slightly amused expression on her face.

"Of course I will, 'Kaasan. This is Taichi's welcome home gift to me after all." She said, but her mom shook her head, as it was obvious that she hadn't grasped what it meant yet.

"You must _absolutely_ keep the ring. It's not everyday a woman receives such a ring from a good man."

Chihaya stared at her mother, wondering where she was going on with this. "W-What are you talking about, mom…?"

Chieko ruffled her daughter's hair. Sometimes she was grateful for her daughter's innocence, but as of the moment, it's important she realize things. "It's red and threaded, Chihaya. Think carefully. What do those symbolize?"

Her daughter stared at her, seemingly at a loss of words. "Are you talking about that Red Threads of Fate folklore, 'Kaasan?" She sounded mildly amused. "You… You believe that?"

Ayase Chieko stared at her as she caressed her daughter's chestnut hair. "Not exactly. But think carefully about how you should proceed from now on. Taichi… is a very good man. I know he will take care of you. He has never failed to do so, after all these years." Then she kissed her daughter on the forehead. "So I would like to ask you to care for him as well. He's an important person in your life. Any woman would be lucky to have him on their side."

Chihaya knew that what her mother was saying was true, but she couldn't get the entire point. "Of course. Taichi is a precious person to me, mom."

"Good. Now go before you'll be late even further. Come home immediately when you're done, and take care."

"O-Okay. Love you mom… See you later…"

She kissed her on the cheek and Chieko watch her daughter hurry off as Taichi opened the car door again for her, before turning to her and waving then getting in his car as well. Honking once, they were off.

As a mother she shouldn't be biased, but she immediately understood what Taichi really felt for her daughter the moment she saw the ring. She already had suspected it of him before, but she was able to confirm it now. She was a mother after all, and women's intuitions were always right. She didn't miss the way Taichi had looked at Chihaya.

If only her daughter knew how to observe… they may have been together a long time ago. And she was sure that her daughter would have been happy without a doubt.

Well… it was never too late. She hoped, against hope, for the two of them to find their happiness- with each other.

* * *

"S-Sugoi…"

Taichi gave a low whistle as soon as they had arrived at the chapel where the wedding is slated to be held. He was impressed with just the mere size of the place, the formal vibe it gave off. It very much gave the impression that any wedding held here would last forever.

Chihaya was trembling with excitement and astonishment. "My gosh. Kana-chan had chosen well. She _should_ be a wedding planner or something, don't you think, Taichi?"

He reached out with a hand and gently gave her a noogie. "She's the bride-to-be. Of course she'll choose well. Ah, Komano's one lucky man."

She turned to him with a teasing grin. "You sound envious of Tsukue-kun."

He shrugged, as they finally entered, spotting Kana-chan at a corner, who, as soon as she saw the two of them, beamed widely and began waving at their direction, before she was seated down by Chidori-san again for proper position while her hair was being fixed up. "Not really. Kana-chan is not the only good woman I know. They're good for each other, actually."

"The same way Sumire-chan and Tsukuba-kun were good for each other." Chihaya said, a bit wistfully, her auburn eyes glinting with happiness.

"Yes, that's true."

And then Chihaya remembered one thing that she had been meaning to ask since she came back, but hadn't truly gotten the chance to ask it. This probably wasn't the best time to ask about it, but as always, her mouth had spoken before she had a chance to think about it thoroughly.

"Taichi?"

"Hmmm?" He sounded as if his thoughts were on something else, something faraway.

"A year ago…" She began, her throat dry. She cleared it, not failing to get his attention as he turned to her. Freezing from his footsteps, he turned to face her properly, and she stopped as well, looking at each other as they kept to the side of the otherwise enormous chapel. "W-When the wedding was called off. W-What happened between you… and Arata?"

The color drained off from Taichi's face, and his expression turned unreadable. "You honestly want to talk about that now?"

"I-I'm terribly sorry for the horrible timing. I just remembered it now, and you know me! I talk without thinking." She said sheepishly. She suddenly felt incredibly embarrassed at her antics. Why did she suddenly bring that topic up anyway? Shouldn't she have only positive thoughts?

Taichi turned to gaze at his side for the moment, wondering if he should even tell her or what. "There's no problem if you wanted to know, but was it okay for you?"

"I did tell you I've moved on already."

He glanced at her. "It still depends on whether you want to hear about it or not. I mean, it was nothing of significance- we just talked."

_Talked_ may be an understatement, but he didn't know how else to describe it.

"Talked? How?"

"What do you mean _how_? How do people usually talk, Chihaya?"

"You know what I mean." She said, as she took his hand and started stepping forward, seeing Kana-chan waving to them again. Holding hands without even realizing it, they both approached the corner of the altar slowly. "I guess I'm worried about you. You saw my entire reaction regarding what had happened back then, but I haven't even known yours."

"I've been… fine." He said, unwilling to go into further details.

Chihaya glanced at him sideways. "So you're still willing to get married?"

What on earth was that question supposed to be for? "What?" He asked, feeling like an idiot. It wasn't the first time that she seemed to be not making sense, but he had to admit, the sudden desire to find out what had happened between him and Arata was not something he could understand.

It may be natural that she was curious, after all they were supposed to be her best friends, but Taichi isn't willing to share that to her. Yet. It still made his blood boil unimaginably every time his thoughts flew back, because he still couldn't accept it for himself.

"I'm worried that after you've seen what had happened to my ruined wedding you wouldn't also want to get married. After all, you're still single, and according to you it was because of me."

"Someone needs to look after you and you know that."

"I'm just saying." Chihaya reasoned out, her tone sounding all of a sudden uncomfortable. "You've attended weddings of our friends, became a groomsman to Nikuman-kun, Best Man-to-be for Tsukue-kun, and _is_ a doctor. You honestly don't have the time for yourself. I guess I'm becoming quite paranoid."

"Please don't. You're strange enough as you are." He said in response, managing to chuckle at that.

She swatted him on the arm. "You are _such_ a big meanie." She then stopped, turning to look at him in the eyes, her hand coming up to cradle his face gently. "So… you're really fine? Y-You're not… traumatized or something?"

"Is this what this is all about, Chihaya?" He asked, his expression somewhere between amusement and confusion. "I'm fine. In all honesty, I'm _fine_, Chihaya. I'm one hundred percent alright. Just because your wedding was ruined doesn't mean I'm not _gonna_ marry one day. I still have some hope left here, I think." He prodded his chest. "A little, maybe, but it's better than nothing."

That was an outright lie, and he hated having to do so, but he had no other choice. It was one thing that Chihaya needed to hear. She was already worried enough as she is with his constitution, it wouldn't do having to admit to her that he had given up hope years ago ever since she had been with Arata. She was already strange enough as she is, he didn't want to add the word _paranoid_ with that. She's fine the way she is now, thank you very much.

She was looking at him closely, her face inches from his, her doe-like eyes not retreating from his. If he moved forward a little their lips would touch. "Are you… telling me the truth?"

"When have I ever lied to you, Ayase Chihaya?" He demanded, pulling at every strength of his will not to lean forward and close the gap between their faces.

"I just want to be sure."

"I'm telling you the truth. And besides, shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't you be the one traumatized or something?" He chuckled lightly, as she flushed, and he raised a hand to pinch her nose gently. "Now back off before I get too tempted and kiss you all of a sudden." He added, sounding frustrated and exasperated at the same time, a teasing, sly smile making it's way across his lips.

Chihaya blushed so furiously in response, but brushed his statement aside, knowing he was just joking. "I'm just worried. I-I don't want to be the reason why you end up single forever."

"We've already talked about this. I'm fine the way I am now, Chihaya."

She stared at him, her dark eyes boring into his light ones. He returned her gaze, letting her see whatever it is that she was trying to find into his eyes. His face was still cradled by her left hand, her thumb rubbing his cheek slowly, unknowingly settling his nerves and calming him down. He felt as if his heart was being melted right there and then.

So she really was worried. He didn't know how to react to that, since it wasn't really such a big deal for him, but more and more did he realize that she really is worried regarding his pledge of singlehood. Add to that the fact that she had her wedding ruined, -she was probably going crazy with worry that it _was_ because of her that he really isn't planning to settle down anytime soon.

"Excuse me…" Somebody sing-songed behind them, and it was only then that they both straightened up, looking at Chidori-san who was smiling evilly behind Chihaya. "You know, we're kinda waiting for you guys back there… 'coz I need to fix Chihaya-chan up…?" She was grinning evilly, her eyebrows wiggling knowingly.

Chihaya flushed, immediately recalling how Kaname-chan was teasing her so hard yesterday. "U-Um, right s-sorry. We'll be there…"

"Oh don't mind me, just continue your moment-"

"W-We'll be there, Kaname-chan!" Chihaya cut her off in quite a panic, and without any other word, grasped the stylist's arm and pulled her away from Taichi, who just stared after them in confusion.

_What was that all about?_

"Congratulations. To be graced by the Best Man's presence here is a miracle in itself." A low, baritone voice said behind him, and Taichi turned to the source of the voice with a knowing smirk.

"Shut up, Komano." He said in a way of greeting, high-fiving with the groom-to-be. "How're you doing? You seem to be doing pretty well, handling this kind of schedule." He said teasingly, as if all the tease and merciless roughhousing from last night's bachelor party wasn't enough to grill the glasses-wearing man.

Komano Tsutomu shrugged, grinning as well. "It wasn't so bad, Mashima. Once you get married, -if _ever_ you will decide to get married, you'll understand what I mean."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean then?"

As a man, they weren't too fond of photo shoots or something along those lines. Taichi at least shared that kind of thinking with the rest of the men he had been friends with, whether they were high school buddies or just colleagues. It amazed him how Komano had been… tolerating of the pre-nup photo shoot, -in the same way that Kana-chan had been the one to even push the men –him, particularly,- to throw a bachelor bash. He guessed that love does different things to you.

He shouldn't be so surprised. After all, he was practically a living proof of it.

"You're still beating around the bush. Don't you think it's time for you to act?" Kana-chan's fiancé said, always the straightforward man that he is that he nearly flinched at his reprimanding tone. "Ayase's fine already, and we both know you are more than capable of making her happy. What's stopping you from doing something?"

He turned away from his long-time friend. "Where are Nishida and the others? They should be here by now, for Christ's sake. Do I still have to call them?" He asked evasively, sounding exasperated. "Man, they all know what time this is supposed to be…"

Komano sighed, certainly unfazed with his friend's evasive tactic. "Mashima. You can't keep on running away from this forever."

"I know." Taichi said exasperatedly, giving in to the topic.

Komano's gaze settled on the ladies, where Chihaya was seated down by Chidori-san on a chair and was being scolded from moving around too much. "You deserve happiness as everyone else does. Why are you still doing _this_ to yourself?"

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything." He murmured in a clipped tone.

"Remaining as the ever-loyal best friend to her? Really, Mashima?" Komano turned to him again. "Why do that if you could have her as someone else in your life?"

Taichi did not come here to be scolded by the groom-to-be regarding his love life, in all honesty. He was not supposed to make this day about _him_, of all people, -it was about _them_, his friends, who were supposed to be the ones getting married. He isn't going to allow himself to be the topic of the day. "You know, Komano, I'm really grateful for the concern, but this is not the time for the groom to be scolding his best man. That was just inappropriate." He finally muttered, only to have Komano looking at him wordlessly.

"Some people need to have a good knock in the head once in a while, regardless of the occasion." Komano said unfazingly, and if Taichi didn't know any better, he would have been glaring at him for all he knew.

How ironic. He had used almost the exact, same words a year ago.

"Maybe." He averted his gaze from the other man, unwilling to meet his gaze. So far, all he had managed to do today was probably exasperate his friend, whose mind should actually be relaxed, _undisturbed_, if they wanted him to get through the wedding unscathed. But he could certainly feel the exasperation Komano was sending out, and he knew that the man was probably itching to give him a good smack on the head.

It _wasn't_ his fault. Why don't you try to fall in love with a girl who was bonkers over karuta and had been practically in love with someone else _but_ him, and was supposed to preparing for her wedding but had been left behind by that someone so unexpectedly? Any man would go undecided about anything regarding _her_ in general.

Without meaning to, his brilliant mind flashed to a year ago when he first found out about the idiotic then-Meijin's decision. This is probably not the best time to remember it, but once the memory rolled in, he couldn't do anything to stop it.

It was like a film which played in his head, -the kind of the film where the pictures were enhanced, the sounds perfect with very little static, the background familiar, making him feel as if it all happened just yesterday. A mind reader can say that his brain was exceptional enough, being able to remember all those things as clearly as if it had happened just a few minutes ago.

Sometimes he cursed his memory.

* * *

_**Then**_

* * *

SLAM.

Taichi's hand was numb with how his fist was curled around Arata's collar, his knuckles turning white, the strain on his arm numbing as well. Never before had he known that he had violent tendencies, but as of the moment, his vision was tainted with red.

Everything was red, as a matter of fact.

Arata was merely looking at him, probably waiting for his next move. He showed no signs of struggling anytime soon, even when Taichi had him practically on chokehold against a tree. The brilliant, karuta genius as he is, he understood why this was happening.

After all, he also wanted to die himself.

"Explain." Taichi said, monotonelessly, his hand practically shaking against his collar.

Arata took a deep breath, calming himself down. "It's the right decision. I have to do it, before it's too late."

The hand that was holding him by the collar had tightened so much he nearly choked. "I never realized the right decision involved hurting someone you loved so much." Taichi responded harshly and sarcastically, in a way that only he could do.

"I know how mad you are right now, Taichi-"

"-Oh really now?"

"But I know you understand why I have to do it." Arata said, his tone turning pleading. "It was a mistake. Me and Chihaya together- it was a mistake."

Taichi stared at him with disbelieving eyes, his amber orbs alight with confusion and dark humor. "You have said and done some crazy shit in the past, Arata, but this- this definitely takes the cake." He growled unrelentingly, unable to believe what his former rival was saying. "You honestly expect me to be able to understand that?"

"You have to." Arata said, still unfazed with his anger. "Chihaya- she needs you now. More than ever… she needs to be with you. You're the one she needed, all this time and-"

"YOU ASKED HER TO MARRY YOU!" Taichi exploded, making Arata cough as he slammed him against the tree again, in the park where Arata had asked the two of them to meet, just hours after he had talked with Chihaya. It was probably a good thing that some of the families who were there had already left and gone home, not being able to bear witness to this moment, which, Arata had to admit, would cause the two of them to be brought into the police station if ever there were witnesses around. "You asked me- ME OF ALL PEOPLE!- to be your best man! And now you suddenly decide to back out, telling me that it was a mistake that you two have been together, that _I _was the one she needed all this TIME!?"

Arata wasn't prepared for what came next, -the hand gripping his shirt had released him, only to make contact with the side of his face, making him stumble to one side,- but Taichi wasn't done with him yet. He caught him by his collar and pushed him against the tree again. As he looked at the man in front of him, Arata felt the guilt creep up in his spine, seeing unshed tears form in Taichi's amber eyes.

"You stole my breath _and_ my heart from me when you took her away from me," the man muttered in a deathly low voice, which was shaking, but starting to get more controlled, "You _took_ away half of my soul when you asked her out and she said yes, and you took the _other_ half when you asked her to marry you, and _again_, she said yes." His fists were shaking in anger once again. "Do you know how _painful_ it is to be asked to be _your_ best man? Do you know how painful it is to watch the one woman you love be happy with someone else and accept it, because you _want_ her to be happy?" Taichi had looked at him, a wry smile forming on his lips.

"No, you didn't. You never knew that, because you always had her attention without even trying, because she had always looked for you, even back then. You had always been the karuta God to her, while I, _I, _had never been anything more to her than a jack of all trades, master of none, and because of that, you held her in the palm of your hand. And you know what hurt the most? It is that she had never even given me so much as a look, when all the time _I _was right in front of her!" He took a deep breath, unwilling to suddenly start crying there and then.

"And then here you were, telling me that everything was a mistake, that Chihaya needed me. What gave _you_ the right then, to play with her feelings? How can you _dare_, Wataya Arata?" He asked, his voice full of venom, his fists still unrelentingly holding him in a chokehold.

Arata's tears had started forming in his eyes as well. "I know you won't be able to forgive me, Taichi. But I am doing this now… because I have to correct my mistakes before it was too late. It may have seemed that I have played around with her feelings, but I did truly love her." Taichi had to ignore how the current Meijin had looked so broken then, how his sapphire eyes shone with tears of regret and hurt. "I couldn't tell you how sorry I am, doing this to you. But I can't stand the thought that Chihaya would be miserable if she stayed with _me_ for the rest of her life… And I don't want to continue hurting her once she realizes it's you who she needs to be with."

"It's not me she wants to be with." He gritted out through clenched teeth.

"It is you, Taichi." Arata's tone had turned steely, once again beginning to be calm, the tears in his eyes halting, again sounding with conviction. "No matter which way I look into it, it is you."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Taichi snarled, unwilling to let his words sway him.

"Chihaya isn't aware of it. And unless you _help_ her to be aware of it, she's going to take a long time before she realizes it." His tone turned broken once again. "All this time she thought it was me. She was wrong." He averted his gaze from him, his eyes focusing into something else faraway. "And I'm not willing to add mistakes and make it worse than it already was. If I have to hurt her now just to prevent hurting her in the future, then I will do it."

Taichi didn't know what to make of his statement. He slowly loosened his hold on his collar, until he freed him from his grasp. "You think you'll get away with this because it's me she _needs_ to be with? You are a complete moron if you think that."

"I'm not saying this to get away. It's an inevitability. The truth. You're the only one who can take care of her Taichi." Arata said, wiping the blood from the corner of his lip. That was a mean right hook there. "Because… I can't be the one to do it."

"Sometimes people need a good knock in the head to realize some things." His teeth grounded together. "You certainly took your time with her. What makes you think Chihaya wasn't completely hurt with what you did?"

"I am aware that I hurt her, Taichi." The current Meijin said in a low, pained tone. "I know she won't be able to forgive me easily, but I'm hoping one day, once she realizes it was you she has to be with… she'll be able to."

Taichi turned away from him. "Fat chance."

He had walked away from him, suddenly feeling too weak to continue standing up, and sat down on a bench.

He was worried sick about Chihaya. No matter what Arata said, he just knew that Chihaya was hurting incredibly right now. Knowing how she had spent her energy pining for Arata when he wasn't there all this time, he knew how this was a blow to her.

Yes, he was hurting as well. Because he had given up on the thought of them being together. Because he had backed down as a man and let Arata take the floor. Because he had thought that Chihaya would be truly happy with him.

But… to suddenly be faced with this… to suddenly find out that all those sacrifices had been for nothing, that truly felt as if he had been punched in the gut unawares.

That was why he had been so mad.

Arata had looked at him. "Taichi please. I know I have no right to ask you this, but all the same… please…"

_Please take care of Chihaya._

And Taichi, despite of the hate bubbling incredibly hot in his chest, still promised him that.

Simply because… he loved Chihaya.

* * *

He did take care of her. Hell, he had been doing that ever since they were teenagers. But contrary to what Arata had claimed was an inevitability during that time, Taichi didn't believe it one bit.

For one, he didn't want to catch Chihaya once she had fallen and tripped over her feet. That is to say, he didn't want to court her at the time she needed to heal and move on, because she needed to be whole first before she could dedicate her time to someone else. That would be unfair to the _both_ of them- for her, because she was just starting to move on, for him, because no matter which way others would look into it, he was going to be a rebound, which sounded so wrong in so many different levels.

And he didn't want to take advantage of the time that she was so weak. He was too much of a gentleman to even dare doing it.

As the official photographer started gathering everyone around to begin the shoot, he saw Chihaya bound to him with a pretty smile on her lips, her hands reaching out and wrapping around his arm. He allowed himself to be led along to the center of the chapel, where Kana-chan and Komano were already standing.

"Are you okay?" Chihaya asked, as she looked over to him with a questioning look on her face.

She probably didn't even realize how she was making his heart do a little tap-dance as she just looked at him, not even realizing how beautiful she looked with minimal make-up on. She had always been beautiful, but now… she was just…

Just…

_Gorgeous._ Yes, that was how she looked now.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

If she truly had moved on from the disaster a year ago, then there was probably no harm if he started to believe Arata, and take Komano up with his advice.

He leaned over and brushed his lips against her hair, reveling in her lavender-scented shampoo. "Do me a favor, Chihaya."

"Hmm?" She asked, her cheeks flushed with his sudden sweet gesture.

"Keep the ring. That's not just an apologetic gesture to the shop attendants you know."

"Then what was it?" She asked confusedly, a bit lost with what he was saying.

Taichi stared at her, gauging her expression. He obviously can't tell her here now, because she _will_ be distracted. Probably someplace where they were alone, where he had her undivided attention.

"I'll tell you later."

And Chihaya just blushed as he brushed his lips against her hair again. These familiar gestures of his, sweet, without overstepping the boundaries, was what she had mostly missed during her time away. It was sort of a comfort to her, -that he will always be there for her.

_Red threads of Fate huh…_

* * *

_**A/N: So that's it for now. I know I haven't focused much on the flashback between Taichi and Arata, but at least I gave you guys a general idea on what had happened to the two of them after the whole break-up thingy. Sometimes I wish I had a guy like Taichi by my side, because I know he'll take care of me no matter what happens.**_

_**And so again, let me know what you guys think. Appreciation to those who again, had taken their time to leave reviews! See you guys again next time!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Wow.**_

_**This **_**had **_**to be the longest chapter I made for this fanfic.**_

_**You know, I started to wonder if anyone had actually noticed that I had made some characters from other anime shows I liked appear or mentioned here. Haha. I don't know if some of you recognized them, but yeah, I did use other characters (which weren't mine, they all belong to the great mangakas who made them,) and made them… do things, here. Oh well, I congratulate those who actually noticed it.**_

_**Appreciate the people who had left reviews for the last chapter. I guess I had been scared as to how you people will receive it, seeing as we both glimpsed the strained relationship Taichi had with Arata ever since then. I hope, that with those who left reviews, you actually appreciated it.**_

_**But enough of the rambling. Let's go to the chapter shall we?**_

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

_Shit._

For all his drama about how he seriously need to get his bearings regarding him and Chihaya, he had to admit, they looked annoyingly _good_ together.

After the photo shoot, some of the photos were already released, (as sort-of a souvenir) for the whole entourage. Kana-chan glowed with her white sundress, and Komano… well, whatever it is that you used to describe a proud and very happy groom-to-be. As he watched the soon-to-be wedded couple, he couldn't help but feel happy for them.

As soon as they were done with the bride and groom-to-be, the next in target were the Best Man and Maid of Honor. Imagine the whistles and teasing (mostly from the men,) as they posed for the camera, which had thankfully, been ignored by a very flustered Chihaya, (because of Chidori-san's teasing, something which he hadn't known about). Taichi had to hold her around the waist and her wrap her arms around his neck, something that they had both been doing ever since their high school years, so it wasn't that much of a big deal. As soon as the photos were released though, his heart dropped to his feet.

_Goddammit. They're right. We look… great. Together._

_Ugh._

Chihaya was smiling at her photo when he turned to look at her. "Something good?" He asked non-chalantly, though her eyes were bright, and her cheeks looked flushed.

"Look." She muttered, still smiling brightly for some unknown reason. It would have been the prettiest smile he had seen on her, and it had something to do with the photo. "You really haven't changed much! You're still thin!… gosh, I think you're even thinner than me, for crying out loud,- but man, your _smile_. It's a killer."

He felt his ears heat up at the sudden compliment. He reached out with a hand and without further ado, pinched her lightly on the cheek. "I'm not thin. I'm wiry. Be careful with how you describe people, baka."

She pulled away from his grasp with a yelp and a grumble that it sounded strange to his ears, but otherwise, adorable. Really, Chihaya has this talent of making something strange look or sound charming, even if it really is something strange. It was one of the things he had always liked about her.

"You're thin." She insisted peevishly, sticking out her tongue at him. When he just rolled his eyes in response, her lips broke into a smile and she all of a sudden threw her arms around him, which made him stiffen, suddenly caught in surprise. "But you've grown quite sturdy, Taichi. At least I could hug you now without worrying whether we're going to stumble to the floor."

His ears pricked. "In all fairness, this is the first time a woman had the nerve to tease me while hugging me." He muttered pointedly, sounding peeved and annoyed, but really, he was smiling despite of her antics.

Chihaya laughed through hugging him. "I was just joking. Peace, Taichi."

Because what she had said earlier was true. Taichi, during his teenage years, was a bit on the slim and lanky side. But as he grew and matured over the years, he had grown into a shape similar to that of his father and the other men in his family.

Tall. Sturdy. Wiry, but muscular all the same.

She released him and beamed brightly at him. "Well, should we go?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I really think we should. We're gonna be late for the dinner if we don't hurry up."

They had just finished the rehearsal, which caused another round of merciless teasing and jokes while it had been going on. Most of their friends had already gone ahead, -probably to prepare for the dinner which will be hosted by the groom's family. They had stayed behind to assist with packing up and had all but pushed the two to hurry on and leave. As such, there were only about six hours left before the dinner.

"Do you still have to change?" Taichi asked as they both made their way over to the car, just finishing packing up and watching the photographers leave.

Chihaya looked questioningly at him, then to herself. "Uh… I dunno. Do I still have to?"

"Great, throw the question back at me." He joked, opening the car door for her as she thanked him silently, and he went over to the other side and got himself in.

Chihaya looked at herself. She was actually wearing a baby blue floaty dress, light and easy on the eyes, which made her glow even more in Taichi's opinion. "I don't think I need to change. I'm dressed quite… decently, right?"

"Yup. You look like a normal human being if that's what you're asking."

His teasing response earned him a swat on the arm that he laughed. "Don't worry. You're decent enough." He said as a form of reassurance, that she smiled and sighed in relief.

"Uh… turn left." She said when they reached a fork in the road, and Taichi glanced at her questioningly.

"That's not the way to Komano's." He said, one eyebrow raised. She just nodded, looking outside the window.

"Yes, I know. I still remember the way to his home."

"Then why are you asking me to take a left turn?"

Chihaya just looked at him. "I have to go to Mizusawa. I actually have an appointment with Miyauchi-sensei."

Taichi stared at her in surprise. "You're going to see Miyauchi-sensei? Why?"

It was strange. Chihaya hadn't told him anything regarding her having a meeting today with the Empress.

_Of course she wouldn't tell you anything. Are you her secretary? Of course not._

But they were talking about Miyauchi-sensei here. She was the advisor to the karuta club. And if Chihaya was going to talk with her…

Miyauchi-sensei had been one of those people who had been so worried for Chihaya the moment she had learned what had happened a year ago, and Chihaya's sudden retreat and aversion to it. Taichi understood why. They had always known Chihaya, after all, to be a self-proclaimed karuta lover (or addict, more like).

_I don't understand, Mashima-kun. Ayase-san is strange enough as she is playing karuta, of all things, but now it's even stranger to see her so… averse to it._

That had been true.

Because karuta had been her soul and life. Taichi had to admit, the moment she had decided to give up on karuta and to let it just go, he knew that it was not just her who had been affected, but all of them.

After all, to see a person you love give up on her life, on her blood and soul, it would feel as if your heart was broken as well. At least that was how it felt for him, -because he had always cared for her, then and now. He knew that if the situation was reversed it would also be the same for her. Probably the only difference there was that she would do anything in her power to drive him back into playing karuta, but him…

He had never been a pushy person like her before, so he had started letting her decide for herself. The moment she had decided before to accept Arata's proposal had been the turning point. He knew that one way or another he didn't get to decide for her, so he had let her be when she had made the decision to leave Japan.

_She has to be on her own. She has to make her mistakes and learn from them. After all… it's her life, not mine. I can't protect her forever… but I'll always be there for her, all the same._

"I have a meeting with her to discuss my employment." Chihaya explained, sounding brooding and serious. "I have to get a job now that I'm back, and I seriously have to find another one, aside from modeling. I can't focus on it and make it my full-time work, you know. I don't want to stay at home with nothing better to do than watch or think. I need to have savings." She joked in the end, her tone turning lighter. But he could tell that it was half-hearted.

Taichi glanced at her sideways. "If that's how you want it, then go ahead."

Chihaya turned to him, looking suddenly worried. "Do you think it's okay for me to be there?"

"Of course it's okay. Why wouldn't it be? You graduated with Sports Education. Basically you could teach." He gave her the logical response that she had to chuckle. "Is something funny?" He asked, confused.

She shook her head and leaned over sideways, laying her head on his arm, sighing contentedly. "You were always so rational, Taichi. And you always have the answers for me. You haven't changed one bit ever since before… and I guess I was glad for it."

He snorted. "So was that supposed to be a good or bad thing?"

Chihaya had to laugh with the way he responded. "Both, I guess. There had to be something bad to go with the good after all."

He turned back into the road in front of him. "Say, Chihaya. I suddenly decide that I don't want to be your friend anymore. What are you going to do?"

Chihaya straightened up from leaning on his arm, and gave him a strange look. "Is… Is something wrong?"

"It's a hypothetical question. Don't take it too seriously."

She was still staring at him strangely. He could tell that she was caught off-guard all of a sudden with his question, something which had just come out of his mouth all of a sudden as well. "I won't let you go." She said, sounding convicted and determined.

Taichi stopped as the traffic light changed to red. He managed to look at her, giving her a serious amber-eyed stare."You won't let me go how? Chaining me in a dungeon of your home which I hadn't known about?" He joked, easing the atmosphere which had suddenly and unexpectedly turned serious and tensed.

Chihaya narrowed her eyes at him playfully. "If I have to chain our wrists together I'll do it."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?"

Taichi turned away from her, suddenly unwilling to continue the out-of-the-blue conversation. "Why won't you let me go, Chihaya? You have other friends. Kana-chan. Komano. Nishida. Tsukuba-kun. Hanano-san." He lowered his head as he rattled off their names. "I'm basically no one special to you. A childhood friend, maybe. But they're still your friends."

Chihaya was getting confused with the topic. "You think of yourself like _that_? That you _weren't_ special to me?"

"What else am I to you then?" He asked, stepping uncaringly on the gas when the light flashed green, his tone sounding suddenly slightly annoyed. Whatever response he was expecting of her was certainly setting his nerves on edge, and he didn't like how he was reacting at all.

He didn't even know what made him ask that question. Dammit, he was getting careless. He had to think about things more thoroughly, not blurt them out without thinking. It was so not like _him_, for crying out loud.

Well, Chihaya had always been a walking contradiction to him. She was the South to his North, the fire to his ice. She was his greatest weakness, as he had always known way back their high school days. He had always been better before with playing when she wasn't around, having unknowingly earned the nickname 'Monster' from Sakurazawa-sensei whenever he had the confidence, crushing his opponents as easily as breathing in and out.

But once Chihaya was there, all his focus, all his concentration, flies out of the window. Until now, he couldn't decide whether that was a good or bad thing, but he had guessed that it just meant that he was just so in love with her, and it was nothing but a normal reaction for a man. That had always been true, whichever way you put it. The person you love was always your greatest chink in the armor.

And also almost always the one who hurts you the most.

The pain kicked in his chest again, as if responding to his thoughts.

Chihaya was still staring at him confusedly, no doubt wondering what was going on. But she had to admit, what he was asking is a really good question.

What was _he_ to her?

Lately she was asking that of herself. Because recently, she had been feeling as if they were crossing an invisible line to which both of them had always stood in, slowly and surely, and once they crossed it there would be no turning back. Chihaya knew that he had always been one of the people she held closest in her heart, her anchor to stay rooted on the ground.

Now though, him being her anchor was starting to change. She was starting to notice it ever since she had gone back, and she had to admit, it was confusing her.

He was becoming a necessity to her. Not in a bad way, she knew, but she was aware that if she loses him…

If ever he got tired of being her friend, of always being there for her, of watching over her…

She didn't think she would survive the pain.

"Y-You… were my… a-air." She blurted out all of a sudden without thinking, her cheeks heating up all of a sudden.

Taichi had to look at her, all of a sudden confused with her response as well. "What?" He asked, half-amused, half-confused.

She sighed, squaring her shoulders with what she was about to say. "You're asking me what you are to me. Taichi, you are my… air. The oxygen keeping me breathing, you know."

He had to admit, the pain throbbing somewhere in his chest seemed to lessen all of a sudden with her response, though it all felt as if her categorizing what he was to her had served to blur his relationship with her even more. "Oh really? Why? Because you couldn't live without me?" He asked a bit bitingly, sparing a glance at her sideways, as he finally turned to the Mizusawa High School quadrangle.

Chihaya's dark eyes bored into his light ones. "Yes. That was why you're my air, you know." She leaned on his arm again, pillowing her head on one broad shoulder, her hair brushing against his neck that it tickled him a bit. "You have always been one of the most special people in my life, Taichi. If you decide to leave me… I… I don't know how I will survive."

Taichi felt his chest contrict painfully. Dammit. She had no idea what she was even saying, how it would mean to him, if only her mind functions on the same wavelength as his.

He didn't expect himself to be reacting like this, since he was the one idiot enough to ask such a question. But her responses… if put in a different way, would be interpreted differently by people who were hearing it.

_I don't want to be a special person in your life. I don't want to be just your effin' _friend'. _I need you as someone more than that. I want _you, _for Christ's sake!_

He was itching to blurt this all out. But he couldn't.

He was tired. He was exhausted. It was so disappointing to be aware that he was still the coward that he had been during his younger years. He realized that he was once again backing out of his desire to tell her of what he felt.

_Goddammit!_

"… Interesting. To be likened with air because you couldn't live without me. That was just strange." He said, his tone turning somewhat cold and aloof that Chihaya had to straighten up to look at him, aware of his sudden mood change. She always felt hurt whenever Taichi would suddenly act distant, and just thinking about it made her recall the first few months that she had gone out with Arata.

He had been distant then, almost as if he was avoiding her.

No, wait. It wasn't a case of 'as if'.

He really had tried avoiding her then.

Chihaya didn't know what had made her blind to it. Is it really supposed to be like this? In order to realize things, you have to step back and look at everything, and once you did it was only then that you'll manage to see all the mistakes you've done before, all the things you've missed out?

She looked at his face sideways. Something about the way he held his mouth, the sudden tensed atmosphere in his car, told her that he was annoyed.

Beyond irritated.

"Tai…chi?" She asked tentatively, her tone quiet and small. Somehow, she felt as if her speaking loudly would annoy him even more and would set him off the edge.

He pulled the car to a stop, and it was only then did she realize that they had finally arrived to their former alma matter. It made her turn and absorb everything in, unable to deny that she had missed their old high school.

She could see students milling in around them, going in and out of the school. Their uniform- which had been _their_ uniform as well, was clearly visible, a stand out to their surroundings.

Taichi took deep breaths. "Go in first. I'll be right behind you."

"H-Huh? But-"

"I'll just have to find a parking space. I'll meet you at the entrance. Go on."

Chihaya wasn't sure, but it felt as if he was kicking her out of his car. She loosened the seat belt, gave him one last sheepish look, and got out gracefully. Once she did, she saw him turn to the road once again and drove the car off, the tires squealing a bit as it turned around a corner of the quadrangle and disappeared.

She sighed as she turned to the gates, and approached it slowly, tentatively. The middle-aged guard who stood beside the gates looked up to her, and she saw his eyes widen.

"Why if it isn't Chihaya-chan!" He exclaimed so excitedly that despite of herself, she rushed forward and gave the elderly guard a tight, affectionate embrace. The man was laughing, ruffling her hair. "I didn't know you've already come back. You could have at least, given me a warning!"

She tried to hold the tears in as she laughed along with him. "I'm so sorry, Masaru-Jiisan. I should have informed you that I'm coming."

The elderly man laughed again, as they both released each other. "You've grown into quite a beautiful woman, Chihaya-chan. Time sure flies so fast. I remember when you used to climb over that wall whenever you would be late just so I wouldn't catch you! Ah, good old times… but did you come alone? No one accompanied you?"

"Don't worry, 'Jiisan. I'm with her."

The man's smile widened when he recognized the man standing behind her. "Taichi-kun! Why, you have grown so much!"

Taichi stepped forward and also gave the man an embrace. "Hisashiburi, 'Jiisan. Hisashiburi."

The elderly man was obviously happy to see them both. "It _has_ been terribly a long time. What is all this surprise visit? Did you have something to do here today?"

Taichi gestured to Chihaya. "She has to meet the Empress. Can you let her go in?"

The guard looked from her to him. "Ah. So you're here to see Miyauchi-sensei. Right on time too. She had just finished one of her classes. Of course you could go in. But do it quickly, we don't want the students going on a rampage once they recognized you." He winked at them both that Chihaya laughed and embraced him once more.

"Thank you, 'Jiisan. Taichi… you coming?" Chihaya turned to him, but he shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

"I suppose I'll be staying here instead. Me and 'Jiisan have a lot of catching up to do. Wasn't that right, 'Jiisan?" He lightly elbowed the older man in the ribs that he laughed and agreed.

Her expression must have showed her nervousness, because Taichi sighed and lightly flicked her on the forehead. Whatever that had made his mood darken earlier must have been gone now, so light and happy that he looked as of the moment.

"Relax. Miyauchi-sensei has always supported you. I'm sure you'll do well." He reassured her that she lowered her gaze downwards, looking down to her feet.

"But I… I quit karuta, Taichi. W-What if… What if she's mad at me?" It suddenly felt as if her composure broke, and all her old disappointments had come creeping in, making her nervous and scared. "I… I did promise before that I… I'm never going to abandon karuta. What if-"

"-Baka." He ruffled her hair, cutting her off, and effectively distracting her from negative thoughts. Honestly, it saddened him that the old Chihaya, who wouldn't so much as doubt herself so easily before, now knew how to do so easily. "She understands. Trust me, she does. You know how very fair the Empress is. She'll hear you out."

Chihaya didn't look much convinced, but he sighed inwardly, to himself, this time. "I'm going to follow you later once me and 'Jiisan had caught up to each other fully. Okay? So don't be nervous. You can _do_ it. Where is the girl I've always known there?" He scolded her lightly, and she finally squared her shoulders, taking a deep breath.

"Okay. Thanks, Taichi." She smiled over to him, and without meaning to, without thinking about it, just acting on instinct, she tiptoed and dropped a light kiss on his jaw, nearly making him feel faint with the warm that had flooded his cheeks, his eyes widening of their own accord. "I'll see you… later." She mumbled a bit sheepishly and shyly, her voice small.

Then she turned on her heels and strode determinedly away from them, not knowing how she had left him completely flustered and lost.

The elder man looked at him, seeing his expression, and shook his head.

* * *

The faculty of teachers hadn't changed at all. She saw some of her former teachers, all of whom had gushed and fawned over her, smiling and laughing, asking her a zillion questions about how she was doing now, what had kept her busy the past year, what she had seen in Seoul. She had politely answered all their questions, and tried to ignore some of them, (who had never really been friendly with her when she was a student,) who hadn't come over to welcome her back, or even to just speak with her shortly, as a former teacher to a former student would.

Really, nothing had changed that much. It was probably comforting that the school she had always known, -the school which had been plucked from near obscurity by the five of them ever since they first established the karuta club, -hadn't changed. The classrooms were all the same. The chairs. The boards. The windows, especially that one window from their classroom where Taichi used to sit on the ledge whenever he was waiting for her to either finish cleaning, or finish her tutorial lessons from Komano.

It was a comfort to her, just as how much their old karuta clubhouse had always served as her comfort zone.

"Alright, that's enough. Let me talk to her."

Hearing that voice, that voice she had been always scared of, but ever since becoming their adviser had been warm, an encouragement to them, -she suddenly felt the tears come to her eyes.

She turned to the source of the sound, and surely, there she was, the Empress herself. She also hadn't changed that _much_, come to think of it, but she could see the lines more visible now around the corners of her eyes, the lines around her mouth. The age was clearly making itself appear, but with it came… distinction?

"M-Miyauchi-sensei." She greeted weakly, her vision blurry with all the tears. "T-Tadaima…"

Her mouth formed into a wistful, sad smile. "Okaerinasai, Ayase-san."

She rushed forward and embraced her former teacher… and adviser, the tears making it's way down her cheeks.

* * *

Clunk.

Taichi raised the can of orange juice to the elderly man as they sat side by side on a bench near the gates of the school, and took a few sips of the otherwise refreshing drink he had purchased from a vending machine near their former school.

"I see not much has changed around here." Taichi murmured, staring around. The trees. The benches where Chihaya used to run around, chasing Nishida when he had stolen her meat buns. The classroom where Hanano-san had scolded Tsukuba-kun one time that they had a heated argument regarding the line-up that should be used during the seniors' final team match as high schoolers.

Practically everything had remained the same. And Taichi was glad for it.

"Oh not much had changed obviously. See? You're still the same old man who never fails to catch a woman's attention." The elderly man said a bit teasingly, nodding to how several girls looked his way when they passed in front of them, some of them giggling, some of them even going so far as to point and stare at him.

He sweatdropped. "That's not really what I mean."

"I know exactly what you mean, Taichi-kun, but you have to admit, what I've said was true." The elder man responded, laughter in his voice. "And let me guess… you haven't changed at all of what you've always felt for Chihaya-chan."

Taichi groaned. "'Jiisan. Even you? Jesus. Why do all people seemed interested scolding me with my lovelife?"

"Because you've been like that ever since your high school days." The man reasoned out, taking a sip of the drink. "It had always pained me to watch you falter around her, because you don't exactly know how to be the friend who will never leave her side, and yet is unimaginably in love with her all this time."

"You seem to know a lot about these things, 'Jiisan."

"I won't consider myself as an expert, but all the same, you can say I was a bit… experienced in that area. After all, Taichi-kun, I am a lot older than you! Give me a little more credit." The elderly man, who had never failed to make him smile and had always allowed him to escape him whenever he would be late for school back in his teenage years, laughed. "Ah… young love. Always so full of drama."

"Was it really?" He asked, his voice silent, staring at the lid of his can.

The kind elder chuckled. "Well yes it is. That, as frustrating as it may sound, was the beauty of it, Taichi-kun. All the pressure, conflict… that is what always defines the energy of youth. Love and conflict."

"I'm old enough for that."

The elder man laughed at this. "No matter what age you are, Taichi-kun, we all turn back into being kids when we find ourselves falling in love. Why else do we get jealous whenever we see our loved ones happy with other people? That had always been the truth."

He pondered it for a moment. He had to admit, the older man had a point.

"I guess I'm really no good then."

The guard stared at him. "…I see. So I was right. Still having trouble with that department."

"I've always had trouble in that department. Can you imagine someone being masochistic enough to accept being the Best Man when the woman he had always been in love with had been about to get married? Crazy."

"Yes. Or insane as you young people like to call it these days. And yet, you've done so because you _loved_ her." The elder man clucked his tongue. "Taichi-kun. Why are you still like _that_?"

He winced at the elder's frustrated tone. "People don't change overnight, 'Jiisan. I can't honestly tell myself to just stop loving her, you know." He responded with the hint of an old frustration which had never seemed to get away from him ever since his younger years. "Heaven knows how I have tried every possible way of stopping myself from loving her. Unfortunately, it seems this is the fate Kami-sama had deemed for me to have." His statement ended with a quiet sigh, short, but something which the elder man knew was full of sadness.

"I am not talking about that, my boy." His old friend told him in response, looking out in front of him. "What I want to ask really… is why you think Chihaya-chan would never see you as someone more than a friend."

"She's been in love with someone else all this time, 'Jiisan."

"That's exactly it. She _has_ _been_ in love with someone else. She's over him, and yet _you're_ the one who doesn't seem over it, Taichi-kun." He said, taking another sip of the juice in can.

He turned to look at him, confusion marring his handsome features. "I _was_?"

"Why else would you remain her best friend, the one she could always run to?" The elderly guard called out a student who had carelessly thrown an empty wrapper of chips down on the ground. "That man has decided to call it quits with her because he had thought he was making a mistake regarding him and Chihaya-chan. Don't you think you _are_ also making a mistake of never trying to tell her how you felt even when he has decided to let her go?"

"I don't think she's ready for that now, Masaru-jiisan." Taichi muttered a bit sheepishly, his voice sounding low and unsure as he thought back to the time he had promised to tell her about the ring and found himself backtracking earlier again.

_Dammit._

Masaru-jiisan fixed him a serious gaze. "You have always been a proud man, Taichi-kun. And yet underneath all that pride you have always cared for her deeply. Chihaya-chan deserves to be happy, and she'll only be if she's with you." He reached out a hand and gripped the younger man's shoulder. "She's a strong woman, a lioness in her own right. Her being here, having to talk with the Empress –which I guess would have something to do about being a teacher,- clearly states that she has moved on and that she's ready to take on the world again. But you _have _to be ready for her, Taichi-kun. If you keep on secondguessing yourself… well there's never a train which idles in the platform waiting for a passenger."

Taichi felt frozen as Masaru-jiisan's words sank in, slowly, one by one, in his brain. He knew that what the older man was saying was true, at least for the last part, but…

_But he hasn't seen Chihaya like that._

_So broken. So lost without her karuta._

"She hasn't played karuta at all, Masaru-jiisan." He said, in a way of responding to the older man's statement. "She's given it up a year ago, and she still couldn't touch a card. She could only watch matches."

"And because of that, you felt she wasn't ready yet." Masaru-jiisan clenched the empty can and just held it there pondering his thoughts for a moment. "I know that you and your pride couldn't bear it, because you _think_ that if you tell her all these now you would just be a second fiddle, is that it?"

If words could kill, Taichi would have slumped on the ground, undeniably dead.

"You know, I've always heard this saying, but had thought at the time as something irritating. After all, we men have always been proud, and we have this ego." Masaru-jiisan was looking in front of him, smiling a bit wistfully and knowingly. "It goes like this: 'If love was the thing that broke your heart, then surely, it would be the one that would heal it again.'"

"You're… telling me to swoop in and save her. Great. A rebound."

"Rebound? Ah, the second best. No, I'm not telling you that."

"What are you telling me _then_, 'Jiisan?"

The older man sighed deeply. As much as he liked this young man for being a gentle, hard-worker that he was, sometimes he can really be thick-headed when he wanted to be. "Taichi-kun, I am telling you to _love_ her. As much as you can while you're still alive, and enjoying every bit of time in this world."

"Isn't that what I'm doing now?" He asked exasperatedly. This conversation was managing to confuse him by far, and he was getting exhausted by the minute that he was trying to bare his feelings. For goodnesses' sake, this _is _the first time he had tried to flung away the mask that he had always used to hide in, and he wasn't prepared for the effect.

God, it was making him terribly exhausted.

Masaru-jiisan leaned over and slapped, -yes _slapped_,- a palm against his forehead which earned him a yelp from the younger man. "No you're not doing that Taichi-kun. You _were_ holding yourself back from doing so after all these years. Why else would it have gotten to the point of that man asking her to marry him?"

"Because I hadn't acted."

"Because you've always thought that you knew what was best for her, and you've _thought_ that being with that man was what was _truly_ best for her." Masaru-jiisan said, a little sternly than he had meant to, and Taichi flinched visibly. "And look to where it's landed us right now. Chihaya-chan had her heart broken and she had given up karuta. While you-" here he reached out to tap him, this time, on the chest, "-You, all this time had to endure the pain here, had watched the two of them lose themselves in each other before." The older man sighed. "I understood, as well than others would, of how you cared for her, and though I hadn't liked it one bit, I understood why you had to let it all go without a fight. But Taichi-kun… you have to remember one thing.

"If you truly cared for Chihaya-chan, you would make her happy. And by making her happy meant that you will have to start moving, to start taking _risks._ I know it sounds more easily said than done, but you _both_ deserved to be happy, and you couldn't do that if you keep on taking one step forward and two steps backward."

He flinched again, this time more visibly.

_Goddammit._

That's exactly what he's doing now.

The conversation from earlier played in his head.

_You were my air. My oxygen, Taichi. If you decide to leave me… I don't know how I will be able to survive_.

Perhaps it _could_ be something he could count on? Something to grab hold on, to hope for, now?

Because he had been unwilling to start hoping again. That's the thing about hope- beautiful and dangerous. Beautiful once it gave you what you wanted, dangerous because it would crush you once it didn't.

And who would be foolish enough to try one more time and set his heart out there? To start taking risks, to once again step forward and man up, let the one woman he had loved genuinely his entire life be aware of his feelings?

He didn't know where his brain cells had gone, so many of them he has as he was a doctor, because he knew that he was going to be that one man.

But in that split second, he finally understood why Arata had to give Chihaya up, and why Komano, -and now Masaru-jiisan, was telling him to hurry the hell up and move.

"Masaru-jiisan… who knew you had the power to convince people like that?" He asked jokingly, laughter in his voice.

From the way his expression cleared, the headache that was threatening to appear suddenly dissipating, he knew Masaru-jiisan understood, the wise old man that he is.

"Oh, thank _goodness_."

* * *

Chihaya sat on the tatami placed in the middle of the old karuta clubhouse. According to Miyauchi-sensei, this room was used seldom now as they have managed to construct a room, -yes, the karuta club's own room!- that will be used solely by the club she and Taichi had first established before. In a way she was glad that they had made so much progress, but she had to admit, it made her miss the old walls, the banging and shaking coming from above due to the band club sharing the same building with them and practicing hard while they also practiced karuta, and tried hard not to be distracted with all the noise.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

She nearly jumped up at the sound of a deep, baritone voice, the voice which almost always warmed her, and lately made her insides knot end in end whenever she heard it.

"Taichi." She said in a way of greeting, looking at him standing near the door, again leaning on the door jamb. He always had this strange habit, but Chihaya knew that it was not as strange as her being a karuta addict, _before_- she had to remind herself- and she couldn't complain at all, seeing as how tall and dashing he looked with just a simple habit.

_Chihaya… you're confusing yourself even further…_

"Come sit with me, will you?" She patted the space beside her, inviting him to sit down.

And just like that, he obliged, approaching her slowly, -as if he had all the time in the world.

He probably knew they were running late with the dinner and all, but she couldn't bring herself to hurry up. She just wanted to spend more time in her former high school. She had… been missing the comfort of familiar surroundings.

"How did it go?" Taichi asked quietly as he finally plopped carelessly beside her, folding his legs in and making himself comfortable.

Chihaya shrugged. "Miyauchi-sensei is so kind. She gave me a job. I could teach now, Taichi. I start on Monday."

He turned sideways, looking at her in the eye. "Really? And did she give you another assignment?"

Chihaya couldn't look at him. This question she had been afraid to answer. "Yes."

Several silent minutes have passed.

"She's made me adviser of the track team." She finally responded, when she found herself unable to bear the silence weighing in on both of them. For some reason, she found herself unable to meet his gaze.

Taichi continued staring at her like that for a few more moments, and she was sure that the man was unsure as to whether he should be happy for her or not. After all…

It was not the track team she should have taken on… but the karuta club. They both knew this.

"… I see. Well that's a good start. There's something for you to look forward to next week." Taichi said instead, though it made it seem to her as if he was once again annoyed. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you. At least you don't have to spend all your time thinking and alone in your house."

She turned to look at him, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them. For some reason, she found herself wishing for the comfort of Taichi's arms. She knew that she was being a brat, and she knew that he had spoiled her enough the past days of accompanying her and whatsoever.

"A-Are you mad at m-me?" She blurted out once again, without thinking.

His eyes widened minutely, obviously startled with her question, but then his gaze softened as his amber gaze fell on hers. "No. Why on earth will I be mad at you?"

She could feel the color rushing to her cheeks. "E-Earlier. When you asked me w-what you were to-to me…"

He sighed and rubbed his temples. Yes, right. He had acted like an idiot earlier. He knew he shouldn't have trusted himself to be better with handling emotions, but he… he guessed he had been on edge when he heard her response.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to act like a jerk. I guess I was just too jumpy from all the day's work. I should keep a better hold on my temper." He responded casually but sincerely, and it gave her reassurance that at least he really isn't mad.

As she looked down, she caught sight of the ring she was wearing, and that suddenly made her feel calm and assured. "Uhm… Taichi?" She asked tentatively as she raised her auburn eyes to his, and he returned it calmly.

"Hmm?"

"E-Earlier… you wanted to tell me something… about this ring?" She asked confusedly, holding up her hand for him to be better able to see it, as if he couldn't. "Um... why did you give me this again?"

_Ah, shit. I should have practiced this. I should have been prepared, for Pete's sake._

"That's not just something to appease the store attendants, as I've told you earlier." He was fighting the urge to storm away from her and run as fast as his legs would carry him from all of it.

_Shit shit _SHIT_. Are you really doing this now, Mashima?_

"Yes." Chihaya had to wonder what was making him feel jittery. She heard the nervous tone from his response earlier and she wondered what was causing it. "So what was it for then? A welcome home gift?"

Her questions were making him nervous and panicky. _Dammit, Mashima, you should have watched your mouth earlier!_ He was mentally berating himself, suddenly at a loss of what to do.

He did decide that he would tell her how he really felt, but he had to admit, he wasn't really prepared. How was he going to tell her about it when he couldn't even find the right words to say?

"Sort of, but not really." He chose to respond, not knowing how else to do it. In a split second of his internal struggling, he made a snap decision.

He was going to have to play a guessing game, - a guess-what-I'm-thinking-if-you're-right-you'll-have-a-prize kind of game.

Chihaya was growing more and more confused as minutes ticked by, and more and more agitated as her mind registered that there was something more to this ring, something _more_ serious than he had ever let on. "You're killing me with all the guessing Taichi. Just spit it out already." She practically begged, eyes bright and round with childlike curiousity.

He leaned forward, decreasing the distance between them that she automatically started taking deep breaths as he leaned dangerously close, his eyes never leaving hers. She could almost count his thick set of eyelashes with the gap between their faces.

"I'm sorry if I have to let you guess, but I did try talking to you about this before but you were always so preoccupied with karuta and Arata." He hid the emotion in his voice as he saw her flinch. "Think, Chihaya. When a man buys a woman a ring, why would he do so?"

She continued to return his stare as he stared deeply into her eyes, and she had to admit, it was making her thoughts jumble together with his closeness, her thoughts scattering into the wind, her thought process deeply affected. "B-Because they need to appease the people from the store for unintentionally causing a racket inside?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, because that's what we did earlier. But what else can you think of?"

Her cheeks were starting to be flushed. "B-Because…" She recalled when Arata had knelt down to propose in front of her. "S-She's special to h-him?"

A smirk formed on his lips. "Very good. You're getting there. And why do you think she would be special to him?"

Chihaya was so flushed it was taking all of his willpower not to pounce on her slightly opened lips as she breathed deeply, her eyes lowering to his as he approached her slowly. "B-Because h-he likes h-her and wants to m-marry her?"

And then and there, Chihaya suddenly understood. All the confusion, the sudden knotting of her stomach whenever she hears his voice. The way he would reach out to her so casually, the way he would kiss her on the forehead, or why he didn't allow her to see him completely half-naked.

How he had always rushed to her aid whenever she needed it.

How could she have been so_ blind_?

He reached for her so gently, the slightly teasing tone from his voice gone, replaced with seriousness and sincerity. "You're right. But I can't say it's just a case of 'like'. He was in love with her all this time, you know."

She felt lightheaded, almost dizzy. Her head was spinning, but her attention was solely focused on him.

"As for the marry part, he wasn't sure if she would have him." He said quietly, almost a whisper, but her trained ears managed to hear it just as well. "All he knew was he was just completely, utterly, _helplessly_ in love with her all this time."

"T-Taichi…" She murmured, his name a breathy whisper past her lips. "W-Why… after all these years…?" She felt absolutely horrible and undeserving of anyone's affection in the moment.

He reached up a hand and stroked her cheek gently, feeling some relief from finally being able to do it as the man who loved her more than anything and not as a friend that she was seeing all this time. "Because I thought I've always known what's best for you. But I love you, Chihaya. Ever since… like… forever." He could see her going cross-eyed with the way her eyes were dropped to his lips that he had to chuckle lightly at that. "And I don't think anyone can cure me from this."

And then and there, her world stopped spinning as he closed the gap between them, capturing her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss.

* * *

_**A/N: Ugh. I was writing the last part, and believe me when I say I couldn't stop giggling while doing so. Hahaha. Gosh, it felt as if I was Chihaya herself. Well I **_**certainly **_**wish so, if it meant I could have Mashima Taichi as a boyfriend, hahaha!**_

_**As always, let me know what you think, guys. I hope you found this chapter to your liking! :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thanks to all those who liked the last chapter. Haha. I had much difficulty trying to visualize how Taichi was going to tell her everything, because, let's admit it people, his character was prideful and cautious. He obviously wanted Chihaya for himself, but was too much of a nice guy to admit that. I had to make people see that he was capable of being selfish, and wanting Chihaya all this time **_**without **_**ever telling her about it, -really, was he still selfish for admitting that he wanted her, more than anything, for himself?**_

_**And so, here's the continuation. Hope you guys will like it, and that you won't kill me with the surprise I intended for everyone (if you can call it a surprise). On to the chapter then!**_

* * *

**Thursday**

_Spa-themed bridal shower_

_Rehearsal dinner_

Chihaya let out an unconscious gasp- which sounded more like a whimper, - the moment his lips touched hers. Her body started trembling, and as though he felt it, she felt his arms wrap around her waist, his lips not moving a fraction from hers.

Butterflies started stirring in her stomach, and she could feel her stomach twisting and untwisting. Her heart was beating so rapidly she felt as if it would go on forever like that, as he kissed her gently for all he was worth. His fingers traced slowly down her spine, his lips coaxing hers, parting them slightly and making her release a moan she didn't know she was capable of.

It might have been a minute, but it felt like an eternity. Taichi handled her with absolute care, -his right hand coming up and cradling her face- as if she was a fragile crystal that would break. She could feel his left thumb rubbing circles on her waist, unknowingly making her breathing speed up even more with the gesture that she supposed he meant to calm her down, -because she was absolutely on her way to hyperventilating.

Before he could _let_ her start hyperventilating, he thought he had made his feelings clear enough that he started loosening his hold. He pressed a last kiss on her lips and was about to move back when she just-

Just collapsed and fell on his chest.

"C-Chihaya!"

She was carelessly flopped on his chest, her head swimming, her vision blurring. His hands hovered frantically over her head, unsure of what was wrong with her for an entire minute. And then his medical training kicked in.

He took her wrist and felt her pulse, which was beating more slowly than he would have expected. He lifted her face up from being unceremoniously mushed against his chest, and he was alarmed to see her eyes had turned glassy, her cheeks turning a shade paler than he would have liked to see on her. "Chihaya! What on earth is wrong with you?"

"You- You… made… me… faint," she accused in a weak voice, her vision still dizzy.

"What? Why on earth-?" He asked confusedly, and was startled to see her chuckling weakly.

"… Because you k-kissed me." She murmured, her tone turning shy and embarrassed. And then, as she said so, the full gravity of the situation landed on her, making her even more dizzy than she was prepared to.

He couldn't feel the humor that she was radiating in waves. Rather, he was expecting other reactions, -such as embarrassment, surprise or _anger_ even. This reaction was far from what he was expecting.

Was she used to this kind of affection already? He wouldn't put it past Arata not to shower her with affections, -after all, no man would resist giving a beautiful woman like Chihaya his attention. And that thought alone was enough to make his blood boil, his mood once again darkening as it had earlier, but he forced himself to focus on other things, such as the dizzy Chihaya, for instance.

"Do you feel sick?" He asked, feeling her forehead, his warm hand feeling good against her suddenly cold, clammy skin.

"No- that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all." She explained, shaking her head weakly, still in a weak and somehow apologetic voice. "I don't know what happened. I think… I forgot how to breathe."

Taichi straightened her up from leaning against him, now totally unsure of confessing his whole feelings to her. To be honest, the moment had been incredibly ruined by Chihaya's classic clumsiness. Or reaction, even, that it threw him completely off-course.

_Way to go, pighead._

"Let's go; it's getting incredibly late. Can you make it to the dinner?"

"Wait, just a second. I think I need to lie down." She snapped, not liking the fact that he was hurrying her up. "Why are you in such a hurry when you're not even finished telling me something?"

"Setting the mood is important." He snapped back, his temper showing once again. Somehow, he felt as if she had unconsciously made fun of him, and it was making him extremely irritable. "It'll be incredibly cheesy if we start all over again."

He stood up and was about to take a step forward but as fast as wind, -as if they were both in a karuta match and she was taking cards with her usual speed, - she took hold of his hand none-too-gently, and gave a powerful tug that he gave a loud yelp as he lost his balance and he fell backwards into his butt.

"We're not going anywhere until you make it clear as to why you suddenly kissed me." She hissed, determination and irritation clearly making themselves heard in her voice.

He turned back to her with his eyes so narrowed it was a wonder it hadn't disappeared into slits. "I think I've made myself quite clear from earlier, Ayase Chihaya. Or were you preoccupied with something else that you weren't listening to me?"

"I heard you." She said, voice turning suddenly small, shy and hesitant, her eyes averting from him to gaze down to her hands, -the poster child for shyness. "But why?"

He sighed, probably realizing that he had no other way left to wriggle out of this situation that he had landed himself in. And there she was, still speaking to him despite him giving her an out-of-this-world kiss, so maybe just maybe, he could give it a chance.

"Because I'm _in_ love with you." He responded, by way of explaining, his voice going soft around the edges, his tone gentle and… _adoring_. "Ever since we were kids, when we were nine, I guess -I was just too slow to even realize it."

"B-But how… a-and why?" Chihaya asked, confused and completely blindsided. "For years… you… you hid it from me. For what? Eighteen years?" She was suddenly beginning to get upset and embarrassed, for a reason completely unknown to him. "Why!?" Her tone was panicked and shocked, maybe even betrayed.

He sighed, taking her hands into his, tilting her chin up and making her look him straight in the eye.

"Do you need a reason why I love you so much?" He asked rhetorically, but her eyes were still confused and… hurt? "We don't choose who to fall for, Chihaya. I'm sure you understand that as well as I do. Maybe even better than _I_ do. It just happens and you know that."

Tears were beginning to form in her dark eyes, and Taichi suddenly understood why she seemed so mad and betrayed. "B-But… you hid it from me, Taichi. For eighteen, long, freaking years!"

"-Yes, I know, I was an idiot enough not to tell you,-"

"But I've been together with Arata!"

"Yes you were. And,-"

"And he proposed and I accepted!"

"Yes, and-"

"-And he asked you to be your best man!" Her head was spinning, her vision blurring as her eyes began to form tears, -of shame, of embarrassment, of guilt, -shame, because she was his best friend and she had always relied on him during the most difficult parts of her life, -embarrassment, because she couldn't believe how thick headed she was for never noticing his feelings for her, -guilt, because she had been perfectly happy with Arata when she didn't even know how she was causing him so much pain.

How… how had she not seen it?

Taichi's response jolted her out of her thoughts.

"Does it matter, now?" He asked, wiping her tears under her eyes, his touch, - dear God, his _touch, -_ still gentle and soothing. "I don't blame you for any of that, Chihaya."

"But I-" Here she hiccupped, not knowing how to stop her tears which were flowing unrelentlessly, - "But I… I was… so... so happy."

He sighed. "Of course you were. You did love him right?"

Chihaya was looking at him with an expression he had yet to place, something between confusion and pity? "But I… I was with Arata… and all this time you were… you were…" Her mind was reeling from the Taichi's confession, and thoughts were running so fast in her head she felt even dizzier.

_All this time… all this time he was in love with me… and… and I wasn't aware of it… I wasn't aware of it!_ Her mind was crying internally. She felt so ashamed, so guilty. She didn't think she had the courage to face him now, and she averted her gaze from him, now unwilling to look him in the eye.

Taichi took hold of her hands again, lifting her left hand and dropping a kiss on her knuckles it made her insides knot and unknot again. "Chihaya. Look at me."

She shook her head, her tears coming in fresh waves.

Chihaya heard him sigh. "I'm not mad at you, -for loving Arata, for choosing to be with him before, for accepting his proposal. I'm serious, and I'm telling you the truth. I don't blame you for not noticing how I felt about you, because the fault in that area is mine. I chose not to tell you, and I _was_ the one who decided that you were better off not knowing." He explained in a soft voice, and she sniffed.

"Perhaps I have prided myself with knowing you and all your habits, for knowing you better than _anyone_ else does, because honey, you were always with me, and I was _always_ watching you." He gently took hold of her chin sideways and slowly turned her face around to meet his eyes. "I guess the one fault I did have was that I thought I knew what was best for you, because even when you weren't aware of it exactly, I knew you liked Arata even during our high school years. I wasn't stupid. I knew.

"But then, Chihaya, I chose to continue being your friend. Even when he finally confessed to you, it was my choice to have remained as your best friend." He wiped the tears that continued flowing relentlessly over her cheeks. "You accepted him and his feelings when he confessed, I thought, yeah, it hurt. So much. I did try to stay away from you, I'm sure you remember that. Heaven knew, you're the only woman I've ever wanted to be _mine_, and yet you chose to be with him, _him_, who doesn't even know how you don't want anyone stealing your meat buns, who haven't seen you asleep with your eyes open, who didn't know your favorite chocolate flavor, -who never knew how you snore like a man when you were so exhausted." He added with a small smile on his lips.

Her eyes widened even more, wondering how on earth could he still smile like that, without any trace of bitterness on his expression.

Taichi held her gaze, not allowing his own to stray away from hers. "I was always called an 'idiot' by Nishida, Chihaya. I earned that from him because there was no way I could stop from going crazy over you, even when I knew I had no chance."

Chihaya was staring at him, a mixture of wonder and guilt on her face. "Why… Why didn't you give me up?" She felt so ashamed beyond reasonable doubt. "Taichi… you have always been there. You've always stayed by my side, you never left me alone when I was so depressed… and I… I…" Her sentence trailed off, as she couldn't help it anymore, -she let out a sob she was trying really hard to hold back.

Taichi took another deep breath and let it out through one great sigh, - almost like he was taking a deep breath before a karuta match,- and took her into his arms, wrapping them around her and cradling her so gently, she felt so treasured and safe almost as if she was protected from all the evils the world could bring. She sobbed into his chest, not knowing how to calm herself down.

"Why didn't you just… leave me alone?" Chihaya was asking in a muffled voice against his chest. She couldn't help but feel the irony in her situation. Here she was, being confessed upon by the one man she had never thought would harbor these feelings to her, who she had, undoubtedly, hurt countless times already, and yet he _was_ the one comforting her.

She didn't deserve him.

"Because I couldn't." Taichi responded, rubbing her back with his hand in circles, in an attempt to calm her down. "I tried, Chihaya. I _did _try. But I just couldn't, -you've always held my heart , and it felt like _I_ was ripping my heart out when I was trying to stay away from you. I was just fighting a losing battle, trying to hide away from you. And really, you needed someone to look after you then."

Chihaya's tears faltered.

All this time, he had been thinking of her. She had been blind to all of it, her always the airhead, never noticing that there was more to all of his actions, even back then.

Why he was always so protective of her.

Why every man who had attempted to get close to her would instantly back off once they saw who was always with her.

And why…

Why he wouldn't allow her to enter his room.

Chihaya wasn't completely oblivious, she had to admit. She knew what other people said about her. She had been named 'Beauty in Vain' after all, during their high school years, earning the ever infamous title of 'karuta baka'. She was an airhead who never really cared what other people thought of her and just spent most of her energy playing karuta, thinking of Wakamiya Shinobu, side sweeps, thrusts and accuracy. And because of that, she had been labeled as 'weird' by other people, never meeting their 'normal' standards.

Admittedly, it hurt. Just because she didn't exactly care doesn't mean she hadn't been hurt by all the comments being thrown at her back, and it had been one of the reasons why she hadn't always appreciated being known and famous ever since becoming Queen years ago.

But Taichi…

Taichi had never cared about that.

He had always seen her as Chihaya. Chihaya, his childhood friend. Chihaya, who had the uncanny ability to fall asleep even in the most inconvenient of places. Chihaya, the girl whose dream had been to become Queen of Karuta even when she was a kid.

Chihaya, who had fallen in love with Wataya Arata, the one thing which had hurt her much, much more than giving up her title, than leaving all the good memories karuta had brought her all together.

No. She just couldn't…

_I… I don't deserve him._

"T-Taichi…" She straightened up from his chest, looking at him straight in the eye, her own still watery but she fiercely wiped away her tears, and swallowed hard. She could tell she had his attention, -his amber eyes never strayed off of hers for once. "Thank you… but I… I can't… accept your confession." She bit her lip as she closed her eyes tightly, unwilling to see his reaction.

Taichi felt as if she had asked him to wear a tutu and give her thirty push ups.

It felt as if she had punched him in the gut.

"Why?" Was the only thing he could ask of.

It was getting harder and harder to keep a straight face on as she bit her lip and looked away from him. Chihaya couldn't imagine what she was making him feel right now. His chest was constricting, his breath beginning to come into short gasps.

It was like having his heart ripped out from his chest for the _second_ time. The only difference was that Chihaya was the one doing it this time.

She couldn't meet his eyes. "I… I don't deserve anything from you, Taichi." As if to punctuate her point, she slowly lifted her right hand and removed the ring from her ring finger. "I… I don't deserve anything from you… not even this." She lifted her ring and stretched it out on her palm, holding it out to him as she had done earlier.

Taichi could only stare at her, at a loss of words.

"I couldn't bear the thought of me hurting you all this time, Taichi. I don't deserve your affections, I don't deserve _anything_ from you in general…" Her eyes were once again tearing up, because it all felt as if she was stabbing herself repeatedly, her heart once again breaking into a million tiny pieces. "There is someone out there more deserving than I do, I'm sure of it."

He was staring at her, struggling to keep his expression neutral. But damn it, was it _hard_. "Chihaya… Don't do this please."

She winced at his tone- it was the heartbroken tone of a man she was turning down for the _nth_ time already, -but she stubbornly shook her head, pulling her hand back and smacking him in the chest quite gently, her hand curled into a tight fist, her hand curled around the ring. Now she knew the significance of it. But she couldn't accept it.

She grabbed his hand and placed the ring on it.

He was too good for her. Chihaya knew he deserved someone far better than her, -someone who wouldn't hurt him, someone who knew how important he is and would prioritize him above all things, -someone who wasn't quite as broken as her. Someone who could keep up with him, whom he could be proud of.

"I'm-I'm so sorry, Taichi." She murmured, unwilling to look him in the eye. "I don't- I'm not… I don't deserve _you_. Look at how terribly mismatched we are. And your mom… I'm sure your mom would never approve."

His eyes disappeared under his bangs, and just that little behavior had her trembling from sudden nervousness. "Why do you think you don't deserve me? Because I'm just the second best, is that it?"

Just his question had her feeling even more terrible and a monster at the same time in that moment. "W-What!? No! Taichi please open your eyes and look at me," She couldn't resist the urge to reach out with a hand and cradle his face gently, and just their skin coming into contact had made a thousand tendrils of electricity running down her arm that she shivered. "I… I was… I'm not the kind of woman you would want in your life. Not when… when I was still so messed up over other things, -like karuta, for instance." She took a deep breath as he raised his eyes to her, and she could see the amber orbs had hardened, as if the liquid had turned to solid. She swallowed unconsciously again. "You would never be a second fiddle… you would never be the second best. You're far too good to be that. But you have to realize that someone like me in your life… I don't want other people thinking that you were making a fool out of yourself just wanting to be with me."

His eyes were narrowing by the second that she was talking, but he let her continue.

"And your mother… she has never liked me. Even as your friend, she has always disapproved of me. Imagine what her expression and her reaction will be once you told her a-about… u-us." She stammered in the end, not knowing how else to phrase it.

Taichi gave a disbelieving snort. As much as the situation was kneading a knife deeper and deeper into his chest, he couldn't help but find the dark humor in all this.

Who would have thought that she would pinpoint his mother as one of their problems in their almost-but-not-quite couple relationship?

"Coward." He muttered, turning to look away from her.

She blanched, suddenly startled at the word which had escaped his lips.

"… What?"

Taichi turned to look back at her, his amber eyes once again narrowed.

"I said you're a coward."

Chihaya couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he really calling her a coward?

"Excuse _me_?" She spat indignantly, her nostrils flaring, her eyes narrowing as Taichi looked away from her. "Who are you daring to call a _coward_?"

"Who else do you think?" Taichi responded through clenched teeth. "I see no one else here but you. Unless there's someone else with us that we didn't know about."

He didn't know what was making him say it, but… _he_ refused to be the coward that he was during his younger years. He knew he had no right to suddenly call her that, seeing as he was the one who had hidden his feelings from her all these years, but he was so exhausted. He was freaking tired of hiding all the affection for her that he had bottled inside him ever since, perhaps, his childhood years.

He wouldn't deny the incredible pain that was flaring in his chest like acid. It spread through his chest, numbing the part it could reach, and he knew he would shut down if he didn't ignore it, -he knew he was going to lose it if he didn't focus on the situation at hand. And he didn't want to _lose_ her, -not when he had decided to let go of his fear and tell her everything.

If Chihaya thought he would allow her to slip as easily as she could from his fingers like he had allowed her to before because he had thought that being with Arata was what would make happy her beyond anything, -then she was madly mistaken. Since she was saying that she couldn't accept his feelings because she was worried about what other people might say, -then there was no denying that she felt something for him as well.

He wasn't sure, and he was risking his sanity and his heart with just permitting himself to think like that, but there was that flicker of emotion behind her denial of his affections. He was determined to hold on to it.

All the same though, he had to be sure.

"Do you love me, Chihaya?"

His question had her reeling back, her face instantly heating up, the blood rushing to her head and into her cheeks.

"W-What!?" She exclaimed, her face so red a tomato would be jealous.

He didn't flinch from her exclamation, his eyes trained straight at her, never withholding her gaze. "You heard me, Chihaya. You know as well as I do that you pride yourself with hearing."

She couldn't find the strength to meet his amber gaze, those eyes, always so soulful and expressive, burning into hers.

Did she love him? She couldn't deny that she felt something earlier, -incredible happiness when he told her of how he felt for her. But did she like him like _that_?

Yes, it had crossed her mind, countless times before, what would have happened had she been with Taichi instead. She _knew_ days ago, that if the two of them were together, he would have asked her to marry him, and she _would_ have said yes.

There _is_ a greater chance of the wedding happening, -because though he may have been fickle during his younger years, she knew Mashima Taichi had changed over the years. She had been a witness to how he had matured. Not that he suddenly became a different person, but that… he had grown into a man who was every bit as capable as the next person to make decisions and commit to them, see it to the end.

Chihaya knew that she loved him, -as she had said earlier, she didn't think she would survive if he ever left her side, but she wasn't sure if she was thinking of the same love he was thinking. After all she had just come from a relationship that fell apart because of an another man who didn't have enough courage to see a decision he had unwittingly made to the end, and there were so many things left to settle, -like her life.

"Y-Yes… but I… I don't know." She muttered, her tone helpless that suggested she was as lost in her own feelings. "I… Taichi, I'm not sure yet."

Taichi's stare was unrelenting on her, -she couldn't even bring herself to look him straight in the eye.

He was expecting her response that he couldn't help but exhale his breath that he didn't even know he was holding. "I figured."

His reply made her look up to him in surprise. "What?"

He looked to the other side to avert his gaze from her for a moment. "I knew you'd say that you weren't entirely sure of what you're feeling. Of course, you have to be _unsure_."

Taichi could almost see the question marks floating above her head. "Then why did you- Ow!"

Chihaya gave a yelp as he reached over and smacked his fist against her forehead, the one which held the ring she had so unceremoniously handed to him earlier. "Don't go telling me that you don't deserve me just because you never knew how I felt for you all this time, just because you had chosen a man other than me, if you're just going to say that you _love_ me as well but wasn't entirely sure about it." He said, his tone sounding peeved, but thankfully, not pained. "Don't you dare think that I'm going to allow you to say all of that when you just said that you do feel something for me as well. Because Chihaya… I'm prepared to court you until the end, until you're sick of me and of being courted in general, and I'm afraid I won't be taking a 'no' for an answer."

She started shaking her head before he could finish what he was saying and she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could do so he placed an index finger against her lips, effectively shushing her down.

"I'm not saying that you have to give me an answer _now._ I'm saying that you should… please think about it _first_." He practically pleaded, his tone turning unsure and quiet all of a sudden as he took her hands in his. "I'm not going to force out a response from you now, Chihaya, because I know you have a lot of things left to settle. Just… if you really care about my feelings, you would think about it."

And she knew he was right. She couldn't just fling out a 'no' for him when she knew she _did_ have these feelings for him that she had yet to be sure of. She really _is_ a monster to suddenly turn him down without thinking twice regarding her feelings for him.

Chihaya sighed and looked down to their intertwined hands. "O-Okay. Fine, Taichi. I-I'll think about it."

Her response made him smile, albeit more sadly than she would have liked to see on him. "Thank you." He said in a wistful voice. "Do me another favor, though."

She looked at him in apprehension.

He lifted her left hand and placed the ring on it. "Keep this, please. Just hold on to it. Once you're ready, just put it on. At least, I have your answer."

"But what if-" She trailed off when she saw him approaching her again, the distance once again decreasing between the two of them. She could feel his breath on her lips for the second time, and it was making her dizzy and lightheaded without a doubt. Before she could get any ideas though, he suddenly averted his direction, leaning forward instead and kissing her on the forehead.

"I'll be waiting for you, Chihaya. I will be waiting for a 'yes'."

* * *

The dinner hosted by the groom's –Komano's- family passed by uneventful. She and Taichi spent the dinner apart, mingling with the guests, joking and exchanging stories with their friends, and once in a while throwing furtive glances at each other's direction –well, mostly from her part.

"I couldn't believe the rehearsal dinner's tomorrow. These past days had been a food fest!"

Chihaya made way for two of Kana-chan's cousins who were gushing at the buffet table that had been set up for the dinner party, as they greeted her and she returned the greeting, before standing in one corner with a glass of cocktail in one hand.

Try as she might, she couldn't help but replay Taichi's words over and over in her head.

_I will be courting you, Chihaya, until the end, until you're sick of me and just being courted, and I won't be taking a 'no' for an answer._

Was he really serious?

She tried to avoid having to talk to him again, after enduring his silence in his car. But before they went into the dinner, he pulled her close and kissed her on her forehead again before they went in, leaving her once again speechless and breathless.

Unfortunately, her avoidance of Taichi didn't go unnoticed by their circle of friends, most especially Sumire-chan.

"What happened?" Their underclassman, who had grown into quite a beautiful woman without trying hard to be pretty at all asked in a stage whisper, approaching her and standing beside her.

Chihaya looked at her, admiring Sumire-chan's dark purple dress which flowed down to her knees. The girl who had been so obsessed with make-up, boys and _love_ before were obviously no more, and radiated a mature, deeply contented aura, which she guessed were obviously due to Tsukuba-kun, who was talking animatedly with his upperclassmen, -Nishida and Taichi.

She had to admit, she felt envious.

"Nothing."

"Well it's obviously not 'nothing', the way you were avoiding Mashima-senpai." Sumire-chan pressed on, which, to her amazement, made Chihaya flinch at the mere mention of his name and heat flare in her cheeks.

_Oh… so _that's_ what it is._

Chihaya sighed, unable to resist the urge to tell Sumire-chan everything. "You'll be present by the bridal shower tomorrow, right?"

Sumire-chan straightened up, looking at her seriously, definitely in the mood for some serious gossip. "Of course. I couldn't pass up the chance to tease Oe-senpai, you know." She joked, just to ease the tensed set of her senpai's shoulders. "Geez, Ayase-senpai. Relax. It wouldn't do for you to be so uptight tonight, not when we're enjoying ourselves, and when you look absolutely adorable in that dress."

Chihaya still not used to receiving compliments, just reddened. "Yeah, I liked this one."

Taichi had to help with controlling Komano's overeager relatives earlier who were asking pictures and autographs of her, and Chihaya wanted to sink into the ground and disappear. She hadn't wanted to ruin the night, and had she known this would be the reception she would receiving she would have changed into a much simpler dress –except she knew they were already thirty minutes late. She had to apologize to the soon-to-be wedded couple, who just laughed it off and waved her apology aside.

"So… you'll tell me whatever it is that is going on with you and Mashima-senpai there, right?" Suimire-chan said, giggling lightly.

Chihaya blushed once again. "Nothing is going on."

Sumire-chan laughed. "Right. Believe what you want, Ayase-senpai."

Chihaya tried to cool her cheeks as Sumire-chan stood drinking her own cocktail beside her, her eyes on Taichi, who was now sharing some small talk with Nishida's wife, -Ousaka Megumu.

She settled herself for a long night.

* * *

Taichi once again dropped her off in her house when it became clear neither of them were willing to see the dinner to the end. He knew it was becoming an indecent hour already, and he still had to go to the hospital tomorrow in order to retrieve some of his books which he had left a few days ago.

He offered to drive her home, and to his relief, Chihaya had agreed to go with him.

"Thanks, Taichi." Chihaya said quietly, her tone sounding quiet and abashed, as they both stood in front of their gate. "Thanks for… for everything today."

There was an undercurrent in her voice that he couldn't quite identify, but he decided not to dwell on it. Instead, he tried to tease her. "For… what exactly?"

She automatically swatted him on the arm that he couldn't resist the urge to laugh. And somehow, the awkwardness from Chihaya's part slowly melted away as she listened to the sound of his laugh, committing it to her memory.

The sound of his laugh warmed her heart somehow, recalling all the other times that he had laughed. She had to admit, the sound of his laugh was different to what it was before, -it had sounded restrained, or even cautious.

Now listening to this, she had to admit, it sounded much more delighted, infectious in a way and lighthearted, beyond anything. She didn't know if she could attribute this to the fact that there were no longer any secrets between them- that he had already told her everything that needed to be said.

"Taichi…"

"Hmm?" He sounded as if she had pulled him from a train of thought.

"W-Were you… serious earlier…?" She couldn't contain her blush, as she tried to confirm the one thing that was making her nervous beyond anything. "A-About…" She trailed off in the end, not knowing how to continue it, though she didn't really need to continue, knowing that Taichi would understand what she was talking about all the same.

She gave a squeak as he turned to her, his arm reaching out to pull her against him, his arms wrapping around her waist, making her wrap her arms around his waist as well to compensate for the sudden movement. Her heart beat hard in her ribcage, her lips tingling, -as it had been since earlier from the kiss they had just shared.

"When have I ever joked about my feelings, Chihaya?" He asked, his lips a wisp away from hers again, making their surroundings spin in her opinion. Whatever it was, Chihaya's thoughts couldn't keep up with her whenever they were this close.

There was no denying that she _did_ think of what it felt like to be held by Taichi like this before. Yes, he had never been stingy with hugs and embraces before, and she was used to leaning on him countless times already, but to be held like this… as the person who he loved above everything, the woman he had always treasured and held close in his heart, -it was once again making her lightheaded, making her head spin, her breath beginning to come into short gasps.

"But I…" She began, trying to gather her scattered wits about her. _Please Chihaya, stop acting like an idiot_. "H-How can you be so sure that… that I feel the same love you feel for me…?"

Taichi gave a very ungentleman-ly snort. "Of course I'm not sure. But I need to hedge my bets." He sighed, once again lifting a hand to stroke her hair, and she couldn't help but close her eyes from his touch that he had to smile. "All this time I have watched you from the sidelines. I was too much of a coward to even think of gambling my feelings for you, but I'm getting _tired_ of watching you in silence all this time. Don't you think I should start playing the field?"

Her eyes snapped open as his words registered one by one into her brain. She could see the determination reflecting in those golden orbs, and it was making her knees turn to jell-o.

"I-I'm sorry…" She murmured, averting her gaze from him. "I'm so sorry, Taichi. C-Could you ever forgive me…?" tears were once again forming in her eyes.

His finger caught a tear which fell, immediately placing his fingers under her eyelids to catch the tears. "For what? For never noticing how I felt about you? I told you already it's not your fault. For your feelings being a little bit slower than mine? I'm prepared to wait it out." He sighed. "But you _have_ to prepared to be courted as well, Chihaya, because I am unwilling to let you go this time. As I've already said earlier, I'm not going to take a 'no' for an answer."

The heat rushed into her cheeks. "Taichi…"

Whatever she was going to say had been cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them. They both turned to see who it was, and they both saw Keichii-nii standing by the gates of the Ayase household.

"Sorry, guys. I hate to interrupt such a moment, but…" He looked helpless, with a somewhat angry expression in his face that made Chihaya flinch. She had already seen how Keiichi-nii was like when he was so mad, and she isn't willing to see that once again. The thing about this was that she didn't know what was making him look like that.

"Keichii-nii…?" Chihaya trailed off, growing nervous by the time that Keichii was standing there by their gates. "What's… What's wrong?"

He suddenly gave a snort as Taichi released her and came to stand beside her, watching Keiichi-nii's somewhat angered expression turn into a resigned one.

"You have a visitor. He's been waiting since earlier, and I truly didn't want to let him in, but he had asked politely, I had no choice but to let him in and wait for you."

Chihaya felt the hairs on her arms stand up, a sudden freezing sensation running from her hips down to her toes. "At this hour? Seriously? Who… is it?"

But she knew the answer even before she had moved to go inside. She couldn't dare to look at Taichi, though she knew that Taichi was probably thinking of the same thing as her. With the way that his expression had turned grim, she knew he had the same conclusion.

Sure enough, they both saw a tall, dark-haired man standing by the porch, wearing what seemed to be a dark suit which complemented his dark hair. He looked up once they entered, and Chihaya felt all the breath whoosh out of her lungs as she saw the sapphire eyes glinting beyong the glasses he was wearing.

Practically nothing about him had changed. He was probably taller now, having added a few inches, and the only difference was that he was wearing a suit, rather than his old clothes. It made him seem like a different person to her, but she knew he was still the same.

And she didn't like it.

Wataya Arata smiled as she and Taichi stopped by the porch, as if an invisible barrier had been erected between the three of them, limiting further movement into his space.

"Arata." She said in a form of a greeting, her tone too surprised and bewildered.

He was still smiling, as if nothing had happened between them a year ago.

"Okaerinasai, Chihaya."

* * *

_**A/N: Ooookay. So Wataya Arata's back. I'm pretty sure you guys feel like wanting to smack him or something, but let's all calm down for now shall we?**_

_**To MaFerSk, I love you too girl. Haha. It's a little touching to have a reader tell me that she loves me, so… I'm touched. And thank you, to those people who were kind enough to leave reviews, especially Pat, VampireManiac8 and platinumheart021. I appreciate all the feedback guys.**_

_**I would also like to welcome Ginny, a new guest reviewer. Thank you for the feedback as well.**_

_**As always, tell me what you think. See you next time my wonderful readers! Tata! :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hahaha.**_

_**Okay, so I was a bit startled with all the passionate reviews. You guys really feel strongly for Taichi huh? And I was right in thinking that you guys wanted to strangle Arata! Ahahaha. But let's calm down people. I'm not planning to bring your blood boiling to a hundred degrees, -for now.**_

_**I may be being cruel, but I **_**think **_**this chapter is a filler one. I really wanted to settle things here now, but this is going to be awfully long if I do so, and I didn't want to be stumped later on by the coming chapters. So forgive me if I'm going to leave the conversation between the 'exes' hanging. It's just for now, ne? Don't kill me. *makes beautiful eyes***_

_**And so let us see how Taichi handled this. Chapter Eight. :)**_

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

"W-What… are you doing here?" Her tone was between angry and bewildered.

Arata's expression was torn between happiness and cautiousness, as he looked at her. His breath had caught in his throat when he had seen her come in earlier, because her light blue dress was making her glow even more.

She hadn't changed at all. Well, maybe she's currently mad at him right now, but yes, she was still the same, only that she had probably grown even more beautiful in his opinion. He wasn't sure, but he could feel it had something to do with the man who stood a few feet behind her.

"Taichi." He greeted in a cautious but friendly tone, inclining his head a little as a form of acknowledgment.

"Arata." His former rival responded, in a formal and icy tone that would have been enough to freeze the Sahara dessert over that he nearly flinched. "You could have given them some of form of warning you were coming tonight."

"I was just dropping by as a favor to Shinobu." Arata murmured, and Chihaya flinched at the mere mention of the former Queen's name. And then her eyebrow raised as she recognized the way Arata had referred to Wakamiya.

_Shinobu… hmm. So it all changed already huh? Looks like I am about to find out something else tonight._

Silence reigned between the three of them for what seemed to be an eternity, when in reality it was really just a few minutes. That is, until Taichi decided to break it.

"Well, I should probably go. Goodnight, Chihaya, and… see you tomorrow." He turned to her as the color drained off of her face all of a sudden. "See you around, Arata."

He patted Keichii-nii on the shoulder, who was standing near the swing situated near off-side of the house, not wanting to be of earshot, and began trudging away from them.

Chihaya's expression was panicked and nervous that Arata had to nudge her. "Follow him, Chihaya, before he misunderstands anything. Go on quick."

Confused and blindsided all of a sudden as to why Arata had suddenly nudged, -yes, _nudged_ her,- acting so familiar with her and why he was telling her to follow Taichi, she still turned in her heels and followed her wayward, almost-but-not-quite boyfriend, if she was even allowed to think of him that way.

"Ah, mou. Matte, Taichi!" She called out as she hurried after him, finally catching up to him when he stopped by their gates so abruptly she nearly ran into him had she not skidded to a stop.

He turned to face her but his expression had turned unreadable, and his eyes seemed to have hardened a bit. "What are you doing? Go back there and talk with him. He's waiting for you." He asked. He didn't sound angry or mad at all, just confused as to why she had left Arata standing there.

Chihaya was feeling scared by the minute but she refused to show it. "I… Can I go with you?"

Taichi nearly did a double-take, his eyes conveying his surprise and more confusion. "What? Why?" He was trying to keep a cool head despite of the situation, and he obviously was trying to not think too much of Arata's sudden appearance in Chihaya's house, and…

Her life.

She crossed her arms over her chest in order to make her point. "Because… I… I can't see him yet." She stuttered in the end, her nervousness breaking her composure.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You mean… you don't want to talk to him, is that it?" He clarified, wanting nothing more but to get out of here right now. He'd be losing his own composure if he didn't keep his calm, and he honestly didn't want his night to be ruined by a certain glasses-wearing man, though he had to admit, it was already well on it's way to being ruined.

"I don't want to see him yet." Chihaya gave in and admitted it. Was she acting stupid for wanting to protect herself from the sudden, unexpected surprise of her ex-fiancé showing up in her home? Maybe it wasn't too much to ask if she asked for a few more moments to prepare herself from Arata's sudden appearance.

But she was truly amazed with herself. Before, she was trying to visualize how she was going to face Arata if Kami-sama had wanted them to meet again. She was expecting anger and hysteria, but… not something like this.

She was panicky, yes, and nervous. But strangely not mad and hysterical. Obviously surprised, because it felt as if the wind had been taken out of her sails. But definitely not mad. A little annoyed maybe.

Taichi stood there, and he lifted his head to gaze at the stars which he could see from his position. "You know you're going to have to face him sometime later, Chihaya. The only question is when."

"But I-"

"And I'm sure you know as well as I do that you can't keep running from this forever." He cut her off, and that shushed her down, effectively cutting her response short. He turned to look at her again. "You have to go back and talk to him, Chihaya. You have to face him, once and for all."

Chihaya was staring at him with a confused, quite unsettled expression. "And… And that's okay with you?"

He stared at her, at a loss of words. "Are you telling me that you don't want to talk with him because you're worried about _my_ reaction?"

Chihaya reddened, obviously embarrassed and caught brilliantly bulls-eyed that he had to chuckle. Somehow, the situation, despite of it's gravity and what it might mean to _their_ relationship, was still managing to make him amused.

He reached out to ruffle her hair. "Baka. I'm not going to get mad over something as simple as talking." And he meant it too. Ugh. "You have to have a closure, Chihaya, if you're serious about moving on from him. You have a lot left to settle, and _that_ means you have to clear things with him, end it now once and for all."

When he put it that way she had no other choice but to agree. But she could hear an undercurrent of something in his voice, almost like… he was being careful.

Her expression clearly said she wasn't sure about this, but all the same, she couldn't help but stare at Taichi, and the way his eyes were averted from hers. For some reason, he was unwilling to meet her gaze.

"Well… I should get going. I still have to drop by Todai tomorrow." He turned to her with a smile which didn't quite reach his eyes. "I know you don't have any curfews, and I don't have the right to boss you around, but it's already getting late, so I'll suggest you keep it short with the jerk. I believe you still have a bridal shower to throw tomorrow."

She nodded, not hiding her confusion from the way he was behaving.

"Goodnight, Chihaya. See you at the dinner."

"Goodnight, Taichi." She watched him turn from her, his heels making soft, crunching noises on the ground. And then, almost as if she heard him change her mind, he whirled around and suddenly took her in a fierce embrace, making her release another squeak.

"T-Taichi!" She complained, but stopped as he just buried his face on her left shoulder, his hair tickling the left side of her neck. For some reason, she felt as if he badly needed her comfort, though for what, she wasn't sure exactly. They just stood there like that for what seemed to be fifteen minutes, then he released her.

He chuckled at his behavior. "Sorry. Yeah, I gotta go. Thanks, and goodnight again Chihaya. I hope you dream of me." His teasing seemed not to match his demeanor at all, and Chihaya was getting more agitated with it.

She couldn't stop herself from reddening though. "Shut up! Just sleep well, baka."

His response was another soft laugh, before finally getting in his car and driving off. She heard the wheels screech as it turned into a corner, and then… he was gone.

Chihaya tried not too think too much of his strange behavior, but somehow, she knew it had something to do with the man who had just barged back so unceremoniously, in her house, and in her life.

She turned in her heels and squared her shoulders, preparing herself to face the man who had once broken her heart, and was now waiting for her on their porch, once again attempting to talk to her, and perhaps, to be a part of her life for the second time.

* * *

He swore as he saw another zombie hiding behind the heavy crate he was targeting. He couldn't believe how he hadn't seen it.

"I thought I already killed all these gits- Yikes!" He managed to exclaim aloud when the freaking zombie rushed him all of a sudden and started hacking away at him with something like a bloody axe. Within minutes, he was able to pull out a gun and was luckily able to use the last bullet, aiming at it's head and firing it. Thankfully, he managed to kill the bloody dude with a torn shirt, wild bloodshot eyes, mouth wide open in a bloody scream, the 'blood' splattering elsewhere behind him, and it collapsed back on the ground.

He sighed as the screen displayed he was advancing to the next level. Pausing it, he grabbed the can of beer placed on his coffee table, dropped the controllers, popped it open, and took a gulp.

And then he sighed again in frustration as soon as the liquid had made it's way into his stomach.

What in blazes is he doing, for crying out loud?

Ah, yes. He was back in his condo, having driven like a mad man from Chihaya's place to the University Hospital, -surprising more than half of his colleagues with his sudden appearance since he was technically on leave- grabbed the said books he needed, then drove home just as quickly as he could.

He did say that he was going to drop off tomorrow to Todai instead, but changed his mind when he felt that he wouldn't be getting any proper sleep tonight.

He was supposed to continue reading well-known articles pertaining to new heart conditions recently discovered, but decided that it was much too quiet for him to continue studying. Knowing his thoughts were beginning to stray off once more, he decided to use his xbox instead and play 'Zombie Hunter', unwilling to let his thoughts wander to the woman he was still frustrated in the moment.

He took another gulp of the beer, and nearly spat it out. Earlier he couldn't really taste what he was drinking, now it tasted metallic on his tongue.

Who the hell was he kidding? His thoughts hadn't strayed off of her once. From the moment he had left her there in front of her house, when he drove to Todai earlier, _until_ he had gone home, his thoughts had gone nowhere but _her_. His brain was refusing to acknowledge any channel he was trying all his might to tune in, and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep as long as his mind was in overdrive.

Thus, this exercise.

He groaned in earnest as he dropped his head anyhow on the edge of his couch's backrest, the can of beer still clutched tightly in his left hand.

"Arghhhh." He growled to no one in particular, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Let me sleep. Please, Chihaya. Just this once let me have some sleep." He muttered, glaring at the ceiling, as if it was Chihaya herself.

The ceiling did not respond.

_Damn, Taichi. _Now _you're talking to the ceiling. Going crazy now isn't going to help you, you moron._

He let out one irritated sigh and decided to turn his attention to other things before the ceiling grew a mouth and tell him to budge his ass off.

Shaking his head, he decided to continue the game which was waiting for him when his phone rang.

Nearly dropping the controllers, he stood up and went over to his dining table, -since he had left it there anyhow, - and stared at the screen, startled when he saw Hanano Sumire's name flashing through it.

Detaching his index finger from the beer he was holding to swipe it, he raised the phone to his ear and spoke clearly in a somewhat frustrated tone: "Moshi-moshi, Hanano-san."

There was a sort of silence from the other end, before he heard his underclassman chuckle from the other end. _"Moshi-moshi, Mashima-senpai. Did I catch you in a bad time?"_

"No, no. I was just… er… doing nothing now. To what do I owe this… somewhat late pleasure?"

"_Uh huh. I am calling because Oe-senpai wanted to check if Ayase-senpai had gone home safe and sound."_

He stiffened with the innocent question, and though he had no right to, he couldn't stop himself from responding quite harsher than he had ever meant to. "Oh, she's safe and sound alright. Hard for her not to be when there was someone else over there she can rely on to watch over her."

His nerves were grated, pulled and stretched beyond their limits, his voice like ice. He didn't mean to snap like that at Hanano-san, but all day long he had been thinking of her, just about offered his everything to her, and nearly had himself turned down with his heart once again about to break,-had it not been for his plea to her to think more about all of her feelings regarding him. Of course, one could expect him to snap sometime later.

Silence followed his response, and he bit his lip in regard to his actions. That was inexcusable. He might have been in the verge of snapping, but Hanano-san didn't deserve the receiving end of his temper. "Look, Hanano-san, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap all of a sudden like that and-"

"_Do you want to talk about it?"_

"-And I guess I was just too exhausted and –what?"

"_I was asking you, Mashima-senpai, if you want to talk about it."_

He froze, his hand clenching around his phone unknowingly, all of a sudden speechless and quite surprised with Hanano-san's straight-to-the-point question.

"Uhm, no, Hanano-san, I appreciate the concern but-"

He could almost see her sighing on the other end. _"Mashima-senpai. There's nothing wrong if you want to talk to other people regarding your problems. I'm here, and I'm willing to lend you my ears as your underclassman, and as your _friend_."_

Taichi leaned on the edge of his dining table for support, taking another gulp of the beer he was holding. The can was already drained. He then sighed warily. "Let me get another drink, and then I'll take you up on your offer."

He could hear Hanano-san's giggle on the other line as he proceeded to grab another can from his fridge, popped the lock open and took the first gulp out, before speaking in a somewhat resigned, defeated voice. "It's Chihaya."

Hearing this, there was a bout of small laughter from the other end. _"Of course. There's no one else who has the talent of upsetting your calm, Mashima-senpai, but _her." She paused, then added quite cheekily, "_Well, who would have thought I would see this day? The great, cool, Mashima Taichi… sulking because of a woman."_

He took a huge gulp of the beer. "Yes, I was sulking about a woman who wasn't even mine to begin with." He responded in a serious, brooding tone.

_Ooopss._ She had hit a nerve. She then cleared her throat. _"So… what about her, then? Did something happen between the two of you?"_

Did something happen? He nearly chuckled sarcastically to himself. Hell yeah, something happened alright.

"Well, yes. I confessed to her already."

He had to pull his phone away from his ear at the sudden squeal which erupted from Hanano-san's end of the line.

"_Ohmigosh! Really!? _Really?!_ Finally! What did she say?"_

"She turned me down."

"_That's absolutely sweet and-what!?"_

Hanano-san didn't feel like celebrating much as she listened to Taichi's story, telling her of what had transpired between her two senpais. With each passing minute, she was growing more and more agitated, and her desire to give Ayase-senpai a good-sized smack behind the head was serving as fuel to her agitation even more already.

_Ayase-senpai no baka! Why on _earth _would you do that!_

"… _I see. So you've finally told her of what you feel, huh."_

Taichi chuckled dryly from his end of the line. "So you see, Hanano-san, I am quite on edge. Sorry again. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"_Let me see. She told you she will think of your feelings for her right? But there is something else making you nervous. Something else is missing."_

This one, he had been afraid to answer.

"Arata is back."

Silence reigned between their lines for an entire three minutes. _"Wataya-san…?"_ Hanano-san began, her tone sounding cautious. _"What do you mean he's back?"_

He took a deep breath as he looked up once again at the ceiling, his eyes beginning to moist for some unknown reason. "He's back. As in… he's returned here in Tokyo, and is in Chihaya's home to talk to her as we speak."

Hanano-san went silent, probably gauging his mood as of the moment. The silence made him look down to his feet, trying in vain to let his thoughts stop wandering without his permission. But what was the good of trying to focus when you were speaking about the person you were trying so hard to understand and let her make her own decision?

"_So… how do you feel?"_

He thought for a moment, about to say, 'I'm fine', which is the response he had never failed to use whenever his teammates suspected that something was wrong with him or whether he was not in the mood. "Like crap." He finally admitted, his voice sounding like a sigh.

Hanano-san, despite of the gravity of the situation, couldn't help but chuckle lightly at that. _"I _know _you're feeling like crap, Mashima-senpai. After all… Ayase-senpai is such an airhead, she probably didn't realize how she would make you feel about all this."_

"I'm used to it."

"_Just because you're used to it doesn't mean you're fine with it." _He flinched at Hanano-san's light but firm rebuff._"So… what? You just… left them there?"_

Taichi took another sip of the cold beer. "What else could I do? He's there to talk with her. And if Chihaya's serious about the whole moving on thing, then they _really_ need to have this sort of closure." His eyes went unfocused for a while, finally allowing his mind to recall Arata's sudden appearance.

Hanano-san clared her throat. _"Just like that?"_

"What do you mean 'just like that'?"

He heard her snort from the other end. _"I was expecting you to suddenly go mad and all Alpha Male over Ayase-senpai, you know. I mean, she's talking to her _'ex-fiancé' _after all. I guess you weren't the possessive type really, or maybe you're just too refined for that sort of thing?"_ She teased lightly, not knowing how she made her senpai blush embarrassedly at the other end of the line.

"I'm far from refined, Hanano-san." He muttered, his tone turning serious once again. "If I'm refined, I wouldn't have punched the jerk a year ago."

He could tell that he surprised her. He and Hanano-san weren't really that close to begin with, considering they have been members of the same club back in high school, but their relationship had been more of a senpai-kouhai one.

She _did_ confess to him during his second year of college and they had one of their club reunions, and Hanano-san weren't surprised to find him agitated with it. It wasn't something he hadn't been aware of, really, but he did his best to avoid having to notice it. As usual, he refused to take her seriously because he knew one way or another he would hurt her and had tried to laugh it off, but she ended up giving him a good smack on the head and demanded for him to take her seriously.

_I… Forgive me, Hanano-san. I can't… I won't be able to return your affections._

What surprised him was her telling him that she knew there was no way he would be able to, because he's always had his eyes on someone else.

_I don't need you to return it, senpai. I had just… wanted to let you know._

And now, look at where she is. One of the most well-known Beauty-slash-Fashion experts in Tokyo, and is together with Tsukuba-kun. He had to admit, the Hanano-san who had been love-obsessed during their high school years seemed such a silly part of her immature self.

And despite of him turning her down, they managed to remain as friends.

"_I see. I change my mind. You _are_ the possessive type."_

He couldn't help but snort out a laugh. "What I did was normal, Hanano-san. At least for a protective man."

"_For a protective man who has been in love with just one woman his entire life, who was an idiot enough to accept being the best man to her supposed wedding." _Hanano-san said head-on, not caring that he practically winced on the other end. _"So now that Wataya-san is back, and is talking with his ex-fiancé as we speak, what are you planning to do?"_

He was silent for a few minutes. "Honestly? I don't know. Perhaps… see what will happen." He knew that he was going to have to wait and see what happens, because hello, he knew he had no right to order Chihaya not to see Arata again, and though he knew it was his heart and sanity on the line, he had to accept that Chihaya had to deal with him. "Whatever happens will be on her… hands."

Hanano-san felt pity wash over her in waves. She could feel his uncertainty, his determination to fight for her and desire to continue being the gentleman that he was warring in him. _"And… what? You'll sit around and let him take her away from you? What if Ayase-senpai decide to go back to him? Do you realize what will happen to you?" _She asked in a horrified voice, not hiding her worry for her upperclassman.

Taichi had to laugh at that, surprising her with his reaction to what she had said. "Relax, Hanano-san. I said I was going to wait. I didn't say I wasn't going to do anything."

_Oh, did he finally…?_

"It's surprising really, what people call 'love' can do to a person in such a short amount of time, as mushy as I am sounding right now," he said, chuckling lightly, taking another gulp of the beer. "All my life I was cowering in a corner, trying to hide all the feelings I've always had for the karuta-baka." Hanano-san noted the name he had called her, and the fondness and warmth laced in it that she couldn't help but be happy for her senpai, "But then, I realized, -all of sudden, might I add,- that… there was a limit to how long a person could bottle up one's feelings inside. I can't… _not_ tell her, Hanano-san. I was… just so exhausted of keeping silent all this time." He added, looking in front of him without really seeing his living room.

"Arata is back, yes. But he was madly mistaken if he thought I'm going to let Chihaya go without a fight." He finally said, and Hanano-san felt her heart pump hard against her ribcage.

_So… So this is what it felt like when he finally steps up for a responsibility…_

"_I'm proud of you, Mashima-senpai."_ She said, and it was like he could see her smiling at the other end. _"…Finally. We've waited for this so long."_

"I can imagine. Took me long enough." He felt better all of a sudden. He guessed that talking to another person regarding one's problems really is a great help. It suddenly helped him clear his mind, focus on what he needed to do and not sulk.

"_I guess I have been worried for nothing."_

"No, Hanano-san. Thanks for calling all the same and listening to me rant. It really helped." He said sincerely in a grateful tone.

She couldn't help but laugh gently. _"Anytime, Mashima-senpai. I'm glad I have been of help."_

And just to be the troublemaker this time around, he decided to lift the mood up. "So! Now that Kana-chan and Komano's getting married, will we be hearing any wedding bells for you and Tsukuba-kun this time 'round?" He asked jokingly, effectively distracting his underclassman.

"_M-Mashima-senpai!"_

He laughed at Hanano-san's reaction, then turned serious. _I'm not going to be the audience in this match. I'm going to have to play for you, Chihaya._

* * *

Chihaya instinctively honked loudly at a cab which tried to zip in her lane without any warning. She suddenly understood why Taichi couldn't stop himself from letting out a string of profanities when he was the one driving and they encounter mad drivers.

_People nowadays. Always so careless in the roads now._

Kana-chan glanced at the expression on her face, and couldn't help but let out a giggle. "Why, Chihaya-chan, you're… almost tame now. And you're driving more slowly as opposed to before."

"Forgive me if I'm careful on the day before your wedding." She responded good-naturedly, smiling fondly at her best friend, who giggled.

"I'm so excited. What were we doing?" Kana-chan gushed as she squirmed excitedly beside her. Chihaya couldn't resist the urge to smile at her friend's childlike antics.

"Well, definitely no facials and waxing. That's a no-no, not on the day before your wedding." She said, sounding sure and professional.

She tried to remember if she had a bridal shower for her own supposed wedding. Ah, no. Bridal showers are usually held a few days or as close as it can be to the wedding date. Her own wedding had been called off a month before the whole thing, so she didn't get to have any get-togethers, dinners and parties hosted by each other's family.

Not that she was still bitter over that.

_Argh. Just because you talked with Arata you're starting to think about it once again. It's done, Chihaya. Get it over with already. _She berated herself mentally. _Remember, you have more important matters to deal with._

And she blushed as her thoughts dangled on a certain brunette, amber-eyed man who had turned her knees to jelly countless times yesterday.

The bridal shower (hosted by her Maid of Honor,) with eight of the brides' closest friends was to be held in a two-bedroom condo unit which she and her older sister, Chitose, had bought two years ago from the savings they both accrued due to years of modeling. They shared the place for a while until Chitose had gotten married, and Chihaya, who had the condo after her older sister had married, didn't have the heart to continue living in there alone when the wedding had been postponed.

Now though, she was planning to move back in there once Kana-chan's wedding is done. It was just about time.

"Omedeto, Kana-chan!"

They both walked in to cheers and teases, and Chihaya was so proud to see her best girlfriend so happy as she hugged and embraced all her friends and dearest cousins. Without further ado, she declared the party-slash-spa open, much to giggles and excited cheers.

Kana-chan had decided to have her bridal shower early afternoon so they wouldn't be rushing for the rehearsal dinner. Lunch was going to be salads and sandwiches, with champagne packed by Rieko-san, Kana-chan's loving mother.

"_So_, Ayase-senpai. You going to tell me what really happened between you and Mashima-senpai?"

Chihaya flinched at the curiosity and cheeky excitement clearly heard in Sumire-chan's voice. They were sitting side by side in recliners, having their toenails painted. It really wasn't her style, but she knew she had to be a good sport since all of this is for Kana-chan.

"Do you really want to know?" She asked, quite exasperatedly in a whisper, checking to see if anyone might overhear them.

Too late. Kana-chan's attention had shifted to her, as she was sitting on her other side and had accidentally heard about it.

"What's this? What's going on?" Kana-chan asked demandingly, and she sighed.

"I don't want to stress you out…"

"Is this all about buchou?"

Sumire-chan couldn't help but give a snort of laughter as Chihaya blushed her confirmation. Kana's eyes widened. "Oh you owe us the story, Chi-chan! I knew something was going on yesterday when you couldn't look at him!"

Sighing to herself and rubbing her temples, Chihaya proceeded to tell them the whole story. Though it wasn't the first time that she was hearing about this, Sumire felt totally different as she listened to it from an another perspective.

Chihaya smoothed out the crease that was beginning to deepen on Kana-chan's forehead as she listened. When she got to the part that she turned Taichi down, she couldn't find the strength to continue.

"And… you… told him no? W-Why on earth did you tell him that?" Kana-chan gasped out aloud, and she winced.

"Calm down, Kana-chan. This is exactly why I hadn't wanted to tell you. The way you would react…"

"How do you expect me to react? You've almost turned him down without thinking twice! Mou! Chi-chan no baka!"

Sumire-chan proceeded to help damage control. "Ayase-senpai is right, Oe-senpai. You should calm down, we don't want you to be stressed out a day before your wedding."

Kana-chan harrumphed. "How can you expect me to calm down with what she almost did?"

Chihaya was not in the mood to argue, and she _didn't _want to, seeing as they were both in the middle of a bridal shower, but she still responded frustratedly, "Well, _what_ have you expected me to say then? He caught me by surprise, Kana-chan! How do you expect a woman to react when she has been suddenly kissed and faced with the truth that her best friend, her _childhood_ friend, told her after eighteen years that he was in love with her?"

"Laugh like a mental patient, yes. But I would have expected you to at least accept his affections." Her best girlfriend answered frustratedly as well.

"I can't." She responded in a small voice, looking down at her lap.

"And why do you think that you can't?" Sumire-chan asked this time, carefully lowering her left hand on a table beside her which was done with all the polish.

"… Because I don't deserve someone like him." She reasoned out, unable to look at the both of them.

The two women looked at each other, both being on either side of her, both unable to believe that they were hearing it from her herself. Well, at least for Kana-chan's part.

"… Say that again?"

"I said I don't deserve someone like him." She said through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to hide from the two women. When Kana-chan continued looking at her blankly, she sighed. "I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve _me_. I'm saying that _I_ don't deserve him. Because… I have caused him enough misery for the last years. I don't deserve to be loved by someone like him, Kana-chan, not when I have hurt him so much."

Kana-chan sighed and rubbed her temples. Chihaya knew she was trying to calm herself down, because for Pete's sake, it was supposed to be her wedding tomorrow, but God, did she really want to smack Chihaya on the head right now.

It was Sumire-chan who broke the silence. "Well, from the way Mashima-senpai spoke to me yesterday, it sounded like he wasn't going to back down anytime soon."

Chihaya turned to her with eyebrows raised and her dark eyes wide. "What do you mean you spoke to him yesterday?"

"I called him yesterday because Oe-senpai was checking if you've already gone home. I couldn't reach your phone so I called him instead. He was drinking, I know he had to be, but I guessed something not too strong." She hurriedly added when she saw the worried expression on their faces. "And Ayase-senpai, you should know this, Mashima-senpai has _changed_. He's decided that he's not giving you up anytime soon."

Chihaya froze, a tingling sensation running from her head to the tips of her toes.

_I'm not going to take a 'no' for your answer._

"W-Why…" She murmured, her eyes unfocused, totally blindsided once again. "Why was he so determined…?"

Kana-chan cannot the resist the urge to do it–she reached over and smacked Chihaya on the head.

"Ow!" She squeaked indignantly, her eyes watering. "What on earth was that for, Oe Kanade!?"

The other women in the room raised their heads to look at the source of the exclamation, but Kanade didn't care. "Have you even understood what he just told you yesterday? Buchou is in love with _you_, Ayase Chihaya! He's been _in_ love with you even when you had chosen to be with Wataya-san, who has decided a year ago that you were making a mistake just deciding to continue being with him!"

She was looking at Kana-chan in disbelief. She opened her mouth to argue, but Kanade was on a roll.

"Has it ever occurred to you that buchou decided to look past the fact that you still had chosen to be with that man even when he hasn't stayed by _your_ side your whole life? Did you realize that buchou had to swallow the hurt seeing you and him together, and yet he had chosen to remain with you even as just a best friend, _because_ he loved you?" Kana-chan had tears in her eyes now as she recalled their college years, and the sad smile that Taichi would give her every time she would ask if he needed someone to talk to.

Chihaya could feel the tears pricking her eyes as well, and Sumire-chan sighed, shaking her head.

"Calm down, you two. It wouldn't do for the bride and her maid of honor to all of a sudden cry their hearts out. Please, senpais. This _is_ a bridal shower." Sumire-chan implored the older women, but they were too concentrated on the argument.

Kanade refused to let go of her friend's gaze, praying with all her might that her words had gotten to her. Really, Chihaya can be so clueless and thick-headed when she wanted to be. She knew that the only one who can look after her was Taichi himself, because he was the one who knew her inside out, the one she should be with after all these years.

And it was about _time_ she realized that.

"A-All the more why he shouldn't be so-"

"Chihaya-chan, _please_." Kanade muttered, cutting her friend off once again. "Please open your eyes. Tell me the truth: don't you feel something for buchou? Even just an _ounce_ of anything?"

Chihaya sniffed, leaning back down on her recliner as the women turned their attention back to themselves. "I… I _need_ him, Kana-chan. He asked me what he was to me before. I told him… he was my air." She tried to hold back her tears. "I don't think I have the right to need him like that when all this time I've done nothing but ignore him, when I have done nothing but take him for granted, when all I've done was hurt him when I had chosen Arata." She turned to them once again. "I don't deserve to be loved by someone like him."

They had to admit, she had a point. One would understand why she was doing this to Taichi, and to herself. After all, it hadn't exactly been a secret to anyone but her, again, of what the former president felt for her all this time. All of them felt the same when she had accepted Wataya Arata –that she really had been blind to the president's feelings, and that she was making a mistake.

As much as they had wanted to tell her that, they knew they didn't have the right to do so, because it was her choice. All of them had to endure seeing their friend try and go on with his life, despite of the fact that they were all studying in the same university and that he was nearly seeing the two of them at least for every week then. Kanade's heart broke for him every time she saw the blank look in his eyes a long time ago.

But now… now that the president had faced his feelings for her, that he had decided to step forward and admit everything to her, there was only one right thing to do. Kanade knew that if she didn't do it, she was going to lose the one person who had truly cared for her after all these years.

_Are… Are you still not going to tell her, buchou? She's about to leave for Seoul. She deserves the right to know._

Kanade recalled him looking at her with a small, resigned smile on his lips a year ago when she had asked him that right before the day that Chihaya was supposed to take her flight.

_She's not ready to hear it, Kana-chan. Her mind… was not ready to process it at this time. She'll be overwhelmed, and who's to say she's not beginning to hate men? _He had chuckled playfully at his attempt to joke. _No, this isn't the right time. I know I've shut my mouth far too long now, but I don't want to add to her stress. Really, she deserves to move on first before I suddenly barge in to the drama._

"Ayase-senpai, do you realize that you were turning down a person who has been in love with you… like, forever?" Sumire-chan asked this time, looking at Chihaya worriedly. "Has it ever occurred to you that you might be breaking his heart _again_ without any consideration?"

Chihaya looked at her with a lost look in her eyes, -almost like she really didn't know where she should stand. "I _am_ considering, since he asked me to think about it." She murmured in a snappish tone, her frustration evident in her voice.

Kanade and Sumire-chan shared a look, then Kanade sighed. "And you're planning to turn him down again?"

Her eyes flashed downwards. "What do you want me to do then?"

She held her hand and squeezed it, willing Chihaya to look at her. "Love Mashima-buchou."

It wasn't an order or a reprimand, but it sounded as if it was the most obvious thing she should do. Her dark eyes widened as she stared uncomprehendingly to her best friend.

"He loves you, Chihaya-chan." Kanade muttered, as the tears she was holding back from earlier finally fell. The bride reached over and gently wiped the tears which had fallen from her eyes. "He chose not to tell you because he knew you liked someone else. But now he's decided to tell you everything, don't you think you should be honest with yourself?"

"What-What do you mean?" She asked, lost once again.

"You feel something for him yes?" The bride-to-be asked in way of clarification. She had no choice but to nod, because it was the truth. "Yes, you do. If you didn't, there's just no way that he would be the air for you.

"Chi-chan, I must confess that I have always rooted for buchou to be with you. But it would still be your choice to accept him and his feelings." Kanade said in a low voice, as Sumire-chan bent her head towards them, and her eyes widened even more. "Perhaps, you were right. You've hurt him so many times already. But, Chi-chan… in order for the _both _of you to be happy, don't you think it's time you hear him out, as in, listen to him, just this once, accept that he may be the one who will make you happy?"

"But I… I just…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"He chose you, Ayase-senpai." She had almost forgotten that Sumire-chan was still there had she not spoken once again. "No matter what you did, despite of you spending your attention and time on karuta, Mashima-buchou loved you. Despite of you choosing to be with Wataya-san before, he chose to continue loving you in silence. In short, it was he who had decided to give you his affections. Telling him that you didn't deserve him was an insult to him, Ayase-senpai, because he was the one who chose you. And if he thinks you're worth it, then, really, senpai, what _right_ do you have to think that you're not?"

That stung, admittedly, that Kana-chan flashed their kouhai a warning look. But it did knock some sense into Chihaya's befuddled head.

And then she suddenly understood.

She had found herself wishing for his presence with the time she had spent in Seoul. Missing him was one of the things she had to deal with, even more so than her broken heart. She didn't understand the indescribable longing she had felt for him all the days she had spent there.

She had rationalized that it may be because she wasn't used to not having him by her side, and had chided herself with just thinking it, because she knew she was acting then like a spoiled brat.

She had never felt so alone her entire life.

_Remember to eat, baka._

_That's not the way to the mall! You're getting yourself lost there!_

All the times she had called him, he had never failed to answer. Except perhaps when he was in the middle of duty, but… yes, he had never failed to be there for her. Chihaya wondered if she had always known what she felt for him but was just too much of an airhead to even understand this before.

Or maybe she was trying to deny it to herself far too long now because she _believed_ it was Arata who she really cherished.

She suddenly understood Arata's words back then, and though she didn't like it one bit, why he had to do that to her.

_I wasn't the one for you._

He had repeated the same words back then during their conversation.

_You still haven't realized it? Chihaya! How long were you planning to make him endure? After a year you still couldn't see it?_

She had snapped. _What right do you think you have to berate me like that after what you did, mister?_

_I obviously don't have the right, but seriously? I never thought you were this slow. Or hard-headed, really._

Chihaya tried to wipe the tears that had once again fallen to her cheeks, making their way downwards, creating a wet path. "Ah, mou. Honestly. I-I'm in the middle of a bridal shower a-and I'm bawling my eyes out." She whispered, looking down at her lap once again.

Kanade and Sumire-chan looked at each other, as she finally turned to them. "I've made up my mind. And I hope you'll support me, guys." She was looking at them both seriously in the eyes.

"Of course." They both responded, rubbing her back. They both wanted to know what it was that she had decided, but really, they didn't want to push her for her response now.

Sumire-chan then clapped her hands. "Okay. Now that that issue is hopefully settled, can we just go back to this bridal shower? We shouldn't have been talking so much about boys here!"

They both laughed. Coming from Sumire-chan, it certainly was something strange, for those people who had been with her and known her through out high school. People really do change.

Chihaya settled once again in her recliner, her heart pounding hard in her chest with the new realization that had struck her earlier, bringing her tears to a halt. She knew now what to do.

She wasn't going to accept him because he had been in love with her all these years. She was going to accept him because she loved him.

God.

She _loved _him!

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of Tokyo, the man who was their topic with their discussion earlier jumped when his phone rang.

"Moshi-moshi, 'Jiisan?" Taichi greeted after picking up the phone from it's cradle, wondering why the head of the building's security was calling him so early in the morning. "What can I do for you?"

His hand nearly unclenched and dropped the phone when he heard the security's response.

"Moshi-moshi, Mashima-sensei. Sorry to intrude. I am calling because you have a guest here in the lobby sir. He says you knew him? Ah, he is Wataya Arata-san."

* * *

_**Whoa! *narrowly avoids missing those who were planning to choke me***_

_**Okay! Please, don't kill me. I promise I'll be good already. So many things to look forward to the next chapters, ne? I hope you wonderful readers of mine will still stick with me to the end. Pretty please?**_

_**Again, thanks to those who were kind enough to leave reviews. You guys know you're awesome right?**_

_**I hope to know what you think. I may be delaying this long enough, but I promise that things will be cleared out *crossing fingers* the next chapter. So until then, I hope you'll be looking forward to it, just like I am.**_

_**Thank you guys, and see you! **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**I am soooo back.**_

_**Wow. This is my ninth chapter for this story, and the longest one as well. That broke my record for Chapter Six... I think, if I recall correctly.**_

_**I would like to give a shoutout to Akitsuki Akira-chan. She described exactly what I had always felt for these two. Yes, I think about them even in my sleep. Yes, I was so obsessed with their pairing that I couldn't help but think of a happily-ever-after for them. She practically bulls-eyed me with her review! Haha. But thank you, Akira-chan. Seriously. You and Pat, who took the time to leave a review, had made me happy.**_

_**And so I'll leave you with this chapter. And I hope you enjoy it.**_

* * *

**Last minute things needed:**

_Wedding gifts_

_Ring of the bride (can't lose it, you'll be dead if you dare try)_

_Wedding toast (ugh, why the speech? Why do I have to make _the _speech?)_

* * *

Taichi resisted the urge to curse out loud as he stared at the man standing in front of his door. He sometimes really couldn't help but wonder if someone out there really happened to hate him with all their guts. Why else would he be bothered by the one man he was willing to bet his entire condo not to have to deal with again?

Not because his pride was acting up once again, but because he knew that he wasn't ready to face the one man who had broken his –and Chihaya's- heart.

"I'm not going to ask how you knew where I live." He began without any preamble, and Arata couldn't resist the urge to smile, despite of the thick tension that was sitting between them like a big, freaking elephant.

"I asked Chihaya."

How on earth could she think of even giving a personal information out to…

…to…

Wataya Arata?

"Of course. She wouldn't hesitate." He muttered, still not making any move to invite him in.

Arata was looking at him with a slightly amused expression on his face. "So… now that your former friend is here, aren't you even going to invite him in?"

He snorted. As much as the feeling of thorough dislike was boiling hot in his chest, Taichi had to admit that the feeling hadn't gone beyond that. "Why should he? He hadn't even acted like a proper friend before, why waste the effort?" Amber hues met the sapphire ones as he muttered the dagger-like words. "Why should he let the man who broke the heart of the woman he had loved his entire life inside his home, after what he did?"

"Because he was here to be a friend." Arata responded shortly, making his eyes widen in surprise. "Because he was here to be a friend _again_. To correct every stinking mistake he had ever made, his entire life, to ask for forgiveness for the hurt he had selfishly inflicted to the people who had been everything to him."

He froze, his ears heating up and all of a sudden, his eyes beginning to moisten up for some unknown reason. It was a few more minutes that the two men stared at each other, as if sizing each other up, eyes not withdrawing from each other's.

And then Taichi moved aside wordlessly, making no move or gesture suggesting him to go inside as he should.

Arata's smile was watery, and he raised the paper bag he was holding. "I brought some homemade sake. You want to try it?"

Taichi stared at him, unwilling to turn him down despite of the dislike he could feel in his chest. "Not too much. I have a rehearsal dinner to attend."

* * *

_**Then**_

* * *

Chihaya sat on the swing situated off the porch of their home, as Arata stood beside her, their eyes both staring off into the distance, momentarily distracted into each of their meditations as they faced each other once again after the disastrous would-be marriage a year ago.

"… So. What brings the former Karuta Meijin in the home of Ayase Chihaya?" She began, voice bleak with exhaustion, but otherwise free of any indications of anger and hurt. Really, it felt as if she was still talking to her friend, the friend she had always looked up to and admired from afar, the friend who had given her karuta as a gift.

And the ex-fiancé who had taken it away from her.

That _was_ what had been hurting her.

"I would like to give you this." He muttered, pulling out an envelope from his suit jacket and handing it to her.

Chihaya looked up from gazing mindlessly on the ground beneath her feet, and saw the envelope being held out to her. She looked at it, then to him, as if asking her confirmation, and wordlessly, gingerly took it from him.

She could tell that the paper had quality. Just the smooth, satin-like, thick heavy paper told her that this was important, and that it was something which all the effort and time had been spent on that not reading it would be a shame.

She recognized the writing in front, the kanji technique being so familiar to her, the names which had fueled her drive to one day become the Queen and beat the man standing in front of her now, and she nearly dropped it like a hot potato, a gasp escaping her lips.

_Bride: _Wakamiya Shinobu

_Groom: _Wataya Arata

She wondered why her reaction had been something like that. She shouldn't be so surprised if he finally found the woman meant to be with him, and that he was once again ready to marry. He still deserved it, sarcasm aside.

"So… you're engaged." She muttered, her tone serious but quite light. "Omedeto, Arata."

Arata glanced at her, a teasing smile making it's way across his lips. "Do you mean that?" He asked playfully, as if hinting at something else which made her roll her eyes.

She managed to glare at him. "What do you think of me, Wataya Arata?"

His sapphire eyes turned serious, his eyes radiating warmth and fondness as they looked upon her. "A very good friend, Chihaya. Always one of the most important persons in my life."

"I am?" Chihaya couldn't help but ask sarcastically as she turned to glance at the tall man who, until a year ago, was the person she had always cherished and spent her energy thinking about. "Hard to believe when you suddenly decided to cut off all relations with me."

He blanched. "Chihaya-"

She ignored his attempt to calm her down. "What are _you_ doing here, Wataya Arata?" She repeated the question from earlier, this time in a deathly calm and serious voice.

Chihaya flinched when he suddenly whirled around and knelt in front of her, taking her hands into his as she stubbornly stared off into the distance, not willing to meet his eyes as her own began to water.

"Chihaya." He coaxed gently, willing her to meet his eyes.

She refused to do so, her eyes still off somewhere behind him.

"Chihaya, please. Look at me."

Unwillingly, she focused her auburn irises on him.

Arata took a deep breath, and spoke in a quiet, uncertain tone. "Chihaya, I am here to ask for your forgiveness."

She was staring at him, unable to stop the tears forming in her eyes, but she remained silent, just looking at him.

Arata's eyes were watery as well, and she knew it was not a trick of the light. He was also in the verge of tears. "I know it's not enough for me to say I'm sorry. It would never be enough for me to just apologize, -because the hurt I've caused you wasn't something that could be so easily apologized for." He murmured, looking down to her hands which he held in his.

"Damn right that was." She muttered in response, also looking down to their hands, and rubbing them together gingerly while still in Arata's grasp.

"Chihaya…"

"Whatever happened to us, Arata?" She continued, her tone sounding confused, and, somehow, still hurt. "I never understood why you had to leave like that… sure, you told me I didn't deserve you. That I _don't_ love you. But how was that possible when I was just…"

Arata was staring at her straight in the eye. "You didn't love me the way I loved you, Chihaya."

"That's it, that's what had confused me." She said, and her tone conveyed just that. "Are you telling me I never loved you?"

"I'm telling you that you've been in love with someone else all this time."

Her dark eyes widened. "W-What?"

A vein popped in Arata's temple, and the smooth edges that had always characterized him for her was suddenly not so smooth. Suddenly he didn't seem so… _impassionate._ "I hadn't really been the right one for you, Chihaya. All this time I had known that. And yet, the fool that I was, I forced myself to stay with you then, thinking that in time you would look at me the same way I had always looked at you. But no. That was a mistake I had foolishly committed, even when I already knew it was wrong."

"If you're trying to apologize, Arata, you sure as well shot down any chance of me forgiving you." She snapped, not liking the idea of him once again bringing up the pain.

Perhaps that was what was really wrong with her to begin with. Perhaps, the reason why she still felt that little prick of hurt whenever she recalled the memories, despite of her knowing in herself that she had already gotten over it, was that she hadn't really understood Arata even back then, adding to that the fact that she had grown averse to karuta because she couldn't touch a card, as it had been too painful then to even do so.

Arata sighed, this time, the frustration even more evident already in his voice. "Don't tell me that you still haven't realized it? After a year you _still_ hadn't seen it?" He suddenly lost his cool when he saw her expression. "Chihaya! How long were you planning to make him endure? How long were you planning to make Taichi wait?"

She felt the defensiveness work it's way into her bones. "What right do you think you still have to berate me like that after what you did, mister?" She couldn't help but snap harshly at him, her tone and voice unrelenting on him. And then she froze once it sank into her brain what he had just said. "… Wait. Did… Did you know?" She turned to him, dark eyes wide with startlement. It was obvious that she hadn't expected Arata to be aware of what was happening between her and Taichi.

"I obviously don't have the right, but seriously? I had never thought you were this slow, Chihaya." Arata said exasperatedly. Whatever serious mood that had been encircling them earlier was obviously gone with all the frustration that replaced it. "And yes, Chihaya, I _knew_. I was aware of how Taichi felt for you all this time. Only someone without half a brain, eyes on his head, or incredibly dense would not see it. And unfortunately, you fit the last category." He responded without any sense of remorse at all, his exasperation getting the better of him.

"Is that why you decided to call the wedding off?" She demanded, her tone getting angrier by the minute. "That's _why_ you broke my heart? Because you knew of how he felt for me all this time?"

"No, Chihaya. I called everything off because I was the wrong man for you, and you were so obviously in love with him." He said exasperatedly, which made her flinch.

"I… I'm not even sure of how I felt for him, and there you go saying that I love him?" Her teeth grounded together, and she clenched her teeth at how she couldn't feel any vehement denial deep down inside her.

"It's possible to deny everything to the point that it becomes insanity." He shot back none-too-gently, and then smirked. "But you're denying it, so I guess you're getting there. Denial is the first sign of love, after all. Or as they say."

"I'm not denying anything." She gritted out irritatingly, crossing her arms over her chest to make a point.

"Liars go to hell, Chihaya."

"I am _not_ lying. I don't have to prove anything to _you_." Chihaya snapped, unable to stop herself from being all snappy. "Weren't we supposed to be talking about forgiveness and apologies and all that?"

Arata sighed once again, as if he had been asked to work overtime on a holiday. "I was trying to apologize, but I can't even do it right because you… you… are so _hopeless_."

"Excuse _me_?" She asked vehemently, all her hackles raised as if prepared for a fight.

He shook his head, but gripped her hands in his more tightly than before. "Chihaya please. Let me apologize right by allowing yourself, Chihaya, to believe me, and to admit that you only ever looked at me as a friend."

"But I-"

Arata's gaze on her made her quiet down and listen. "You know, this one line has always been one thing that my grandfather reminded me."

She looked down to him, listening closely.

"Whenever you're cheating on your heart, you always hurt your feelings." He continued, watching her digest everything in as she averted her gaze slowly from his. "Whenever you lie to yourself, you undoubtedly cause yourself injuries."

Chihaya could feel her eyes watering again. "I… I am not… denying anything."

"Maybe, maybe not. But you're lying, Chihaya. Honestly? You have never been a good liar, you know. We could always read past that."

She shook her head, her tears dropping once again, absentmindedly noting to herself that the two men she considered as two of the most important people in her life kept on making her cry the whole day. "I… I would _never._" She insisted in a shaking voice, trying to wipe her tears in vain.

He shook his head. "Chihaya please. Stop it. You _know_ you love him, just as how much he does you. You're unwilling to admit it to yourself because you were afraid that I was right."

"Why would I be afraid then?" She challenged, still in a watery voice. "Perhaps you know me more than I do myself. Care to explain it to me?"

Arata looked at her with a wistful, almost pained expression. "You didn't want to admit it to yourself because you have _spent _most of your energy believing and hoping that you will face me in karuta one day. Unfortunately, you had mistaken those feelings as those of love. Perhaps it is, but it was nothing more than the love of a friend." He began explaining, lifting a hand and wiping her tears from her eyes which had made it to her cheeks. "I have always been just a goal for you, Chihaya. A dream."

"You are." She said shortly, and he couldn't resist the urge to let a small smile curve his lips.

"Yes, I am. But Taichi… Taichi is your reality, Chihaya. Your anchor in the real world. The one keeping your feet on the ground." He took a deep breath, and said, almost in a whisper, "The man who will make you truly happy, beyond anything."

Her tears halted, and she felt herself freeze, a tingling sensation shooting past her head into her toes.

Her anchor.

She had always thought Taichi as her anchor. Earlier she had admitted it to herself. Though it somehow felt wrong to compare them, she had to admit, Arata was right.

Arata was her dream and goal. He was the reason why she had dreamed to be the Queen in the first place. He was why she had forced herself to perfect her technique, practice her swings, why she had spent so much energy in karuta despite of countless people telling her that there were better things she should spend her time on.

He was also why she and Taichi had co-founded the Mizusawa karuta club together.

But…

Taichi was the one who had guided her every stinking step of the way.

Taichi had been her sole support, her _rock_, if she was allowed to describe him like that. He was her conscience, her confidante, her _friend_. Whereas Arata had always been something like a fantasy, an unattainable dream to her, Taichi had been… yes, her reminder of the real world.

Her reality.

He had never left her side. Most of the time she had found herself missing Arata. Even when they were together, -she realized, just now, despite of Arata being reunited with them, with _her,_ way back their college years, she felt as if he was still missing. As if she was still two or three steps behind him.

"W-What were you expecting me to do then?" She asked in a confused, lost voice.

Arata stared at her. "I don't know. Maybe open your eyes to the truth?"

They both fell into an unsure silence.

Her mind which was racing through all the memories earlier slowed all of a sudden to a sluggish crawl. She suddenly felt the exhaustion more acutely from earlier, as if all of it had finally managed to catch up to her.

"I'm not sure if I'm prepared to accept it now," She began in an unsure voice. "You have a point, Arata, but this time… I want to know what it is that I really feel for him. I don't want to repeat the same mistake I did with you… before. I don't want to continue hurting him, and I don't want to hurt him once again."

Arata sighed in frustration once again. It was not the response he liked to hear from her, but he could make do with it. If he had to go through hell and back just to help her realize things and everything fall into it's proper place then he would do it.

"Do what you think you must. And for your sakes, I hope it will not be too late."

* * *

_**Now**_

* * *

They both stared in front of them, their gazes not meeting each other's but were both lost into nothingness. Honestly, they were both absorbed in their own meditations, especially Taichi, whose glass was nearly empty without even noticing it.

"Arata, you big, freaking bastard." He finally spoke afterwards, shaking his head and suddenly draining his near-empty cup without any care in the world and grimacing when he felt the liquid graze his throat. "Is it really necessary to force it into her? She can think for herself."

Arata suddenly snorted, something which had really sounded strange for a quiet man like him. "I wasn't forcing her. If anything she should have realized it already. I've given her up, because deep down, if unconsciously, I knew she was in love with you, and I was just an obstacle that had blinded her into it. I mean… it's been… so long." He finished lamely, staring into the transparent liquid in his glass. "Chihaya's been avoiding it long enough."

"Then you should have let her avoid it and let her be ready to realize it." Taichi snapped, unwilling to have his heart once again almost broken like yesterday.

His sapphire eyes glinted dangerously at him. "And what? Make you wait for another… what, three years? Five? Or six? There's no sense dilly-dallying with something that she already knew. One way or another she loves you, so why make yourselves suffer for that long?"

Taichi stared at him, a humorless smile curling his lips. "You're doing this because you think once you brought us together you will be forgiven. Am I right?"

The dark-haired man returned his stare, his face unreadable, but Taichi knew him well enough to see the sadness reflecting in his eyes. He knew he had hit a nerve.

"No. I'm doing this because I want you both to be happy."

"Screw happiness. If Chihaya isn't willing to be with me then I have no choice but to let her have her way." Taichi snarled, and took the bottle of sake to pour himself some of it.

Arata grabbed the bottle before the liquid could overflow. "Slow down, you idiot. You're getting yourself drunk."

"You're the one who brought this with you, megane baka."

"I thought you have a rehearsal dinner to attend."

The brunette ignored him. "It's a rehearsal _dinner_. I think I know myself well enough not to get myself drunk." He muttered, eyeing the other man warily over his glass with a hint of frustration on his tone.

"And you knew yourself well enough to still be acting like the coward you were."Arata lost all friendliness all of a sudden and snapped the response.

"Oh really? A coward huh?" Taichi looked up into the ceiling above him, once again dropping his head into the edge of his couch's backrest. "You were claiming all this time that she was in love with me, and then you decided to propose a year ago, despite of you 'knowing' what was going on with her. What would you call that? Wouldn't you think that's pot calling kettle black?'"

His tone sounded calm enough, but Arata felt the dagger-like words stab him somewhere in the gut.

"That… is true." Arata agreed silently, knowing how much of a fool he had been years ago. "I was an idiot, and I don't want you to be the same as me. It's enough that one of us is an idiot; don't try to be the same as me."

Taichi laughed a humorless laugh. "That's the problem. I have tried so hard to be like you for so long that I don't know what I really should do anymore."

Arata stopped, suddenly unable to believe his ears. "What?"

He didn't know what made him say it, admit it out loud, but he knew that somehow, someway, the alcohol was starting to affect him already.

"I had this delusion that if I tried to be like you Chihaya will see me the way I see her, you know." His eyes were once again beginning to moist. "After all, you have always been the epitome of a karuta God to her. I wasn't like you who could be so confident. I wasn't like you who could do even the impossible. I've told you that I was never more than anything to her than a jack of all trades. That had always been true, no matter which way you look into it." He said in a quiet tone, as he felt Arata's utter amazement at what he was hearing from him.

He glanced over to the dark-haired man. "Don't act so surprised. For someone who has always been so sensitive, you should have known that."

Arata was shaking his head. "But how could you want _that_? I was so messed up, over my grandfather, over Chihaya, over our friendship… I mean I _would_ understand if you would hate to be like me." The then-Meijin said, truly confused.

"That is what makes us human beings wasn't it?" Taichi responded, still in a silent voice. "We've always wanted the things that has always been out of our reach."

Arata stared at him, trying to read his expression. "Probably. Perhaps, that was why I have always wanted to be like _you_ as well."

He let out a disbelieving snort. "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did in fact, Taichi." Arata said so seriously that Taichi had to look at him, as if wondering if he had sprouted antlers or tentacles all of a sudden. "While you may always have admired my confidence, I have always felt envious of you. You thought that I had Chihaya's attention without trying? That's not exactly true. During the time we were together… she had never failed to wonder how you were doing, always bringing you up in all the things we've talked about. I thought it was because you guys have always been so close. But more and more did I realize… it was because you _owned _her attention and affection all this time. She just hadn't realized it earlier."

Taichi's eyebrow twitched. "… And… you never said anything? Never asked her to stop that habit of hers?" It was his turn to stare in wonder at the dark-haired man.

The then-Meijin shook his head. "… No." He turned to gaze out of the window, unwilling to meet the brunette's gaze. "It was so deeply etched on her, -her thoughts of you. Who am I to take it away from her?"

Taichi's gaze went blank. "That's… I really don't know what to say." He took a huge gulp of the sake, not feeling the liquid graze his throat this time. "That must have hurt."

Arata also gulped his own drink down. "It did, and I'm not going to deny that. But, really, I couldn't blame it on her, or you, or anyone for that matter. That was my own fault. I hadn't let her go as I what I should have done. If I had allowed myself to accept that fact earlier… If I only hadn't allowed my pride to get the better of me, perhaps then we could have avoided this whole mess." He said in a quiet voice, staring into his empty glass without really seeing it. He looked up to Taichi again, this time, his eyes with unmistakable tears. "Will you ever forgive me, Taichi?"

Taichi stared at him expressionlessly, his face betraying no emotion. Sometimes Arata forgot how different Chihaya was from Taichi, despite of the fact that they had always been together practically their whole lives. While Chihaya was pretty much an open book for the both of them, -her expressions always so easy to read that you could tell just what she was thinking with just reading her expressions, -Taichi was her exact opposite. He knew how to hide his thoughts, how to keep them to himself without allowing other people to catch onto it. And even when they had been childhood friends for a long time, Arata knew that things between him and Taichi had been strained when he had started dating Chihaya.

The brunette sighed. "Don't do that, Arata. It's not like you did a crime." Arata's eyes widened when he heard his words. "Falling in love with someone wasn't something that you should apologize about. Acting all defensive and protective over her was something normal for any man in love. Even making rash decisions, -that was a part of it all." He muttered seriously, eyeing him with another wary gaze. "But yes, you _did_ mess up big time when you decided to all of a sudden propose to her just to keep her with you, and then suddenly decide to leave her hanging when you promised her you will be with her forever. Yes, you can be blamed for that, because you've _decided_ it. We're human beings after all, not Gods, but even Gods make mistakes from time to time. What we can do is learn from it and grow up, charge it to experience, and hope that next time we won't be idiots enough to repeat it."

The sapphire-eyed man nodded, lowering his head, feeling the truth behind his words.

"I'm not saying that I'm not forgiving you, because I don't have the right _not_ to forgive you. You do realize that you've hurt a lot of people, and to us, that's the best apology you can offer." Taichi added, sincerity lacing his voice that Arata didn't doubt it. "And perhaps another apology you can offer Chihaya was to be happy with your life now and let her be happy with hers, and not repeat the mistakes you once did." He picked up the thick envelope sitting on his coffee table and waved it in front of him. "After all, you did find the one for you now, am I right?"

Arata nodded, smiling gratefully. "Yes. And I love her. So much."

He nodded, satisfied. "Then good. At least then you wouldn't have any regrets."

The dark-haired man stared at him. "Thank you, Taichi. You don't know how grateful I was with that. But now that it was clear that all between me and Chihaya is over, what do you plan _now_?"

He was silent for a while, listening to Arata's words and letting it sink in one by one into his brain. "That was the eternal question wasn't it, considering the fact you were not the first person to ask it." He swirled his glass, which still had a small amount of the transparent liquid remaining in it. "I told her the truth, Arata, and that I was prepared to fight for her until the end. But honestly, it's all in her hands now. Whatever she decides… I could try to let her realize her feelings, but the final say will come from her. She holds my heart in her hands. It's on her to accept it or return it to me."

Arata stared at him, unable to help himself from admiring his friend. He had always thought of him as a coward, ever since that fateful day that he had stolen and hidden his glasses, but to see him like this now, as a grown-up man accepting the fact that he would have to risk his heart for the woman he had always loved, knowing that he would fight for her but still had to respect whatever she decides, well, it was a surreal moment of his life that he hadn't been unable to stop himself from reaching a hand out and grasping his shoulder tentatively.

When he didn't shrug it off, he then continued. "Don't… lose hope. She's had the same feelings for you, Taichi, I'm sure about that. She just has to realize it." He offered him an encouraging smile. "I would be rooting for you, my friend, to be with her. You deserved each other –I was an idiot to have thought I could fight against it. That was the biggest mistake of my life."

"Arata…"

"And I want you to know, Taichi, that you have my unwavering support. You… and Chihaya… deserved happiness. it's about time that you find each other." He shook his shoulder. "Do everything for her, Taichi."

Taichi had to snort. "When have I not done my best for her? It's not like I gave her half of everything I had ever decided to give her."

The glasses-wearing man smiled once again. "That's right."

And despite of everything that had happened, both of them knew, that finally, they were friends once again.

Taichi raised his glass to the former Meijin. "Omedeto, Arata."

And Arata met his glass with a small clink. "Arigatou, Taichi."

* * *

Needless to say, the small reconciliation turned into a small, celebratory drinking get-together of sorts –just between the two of them. In the end, Arata had to leave after helping him fix everything, and he smoothed out everything in his condo back to normal, not leaving any incriminating evidence.

Well he wasn't really that much of a neat freak, but he still liked his things in order.

In the middle of afternoon though, he suddenly felt his temperature change. He didn't know if could attribute this to alcohol, but considering the fact that he had finished three cans of beer last night and _had_ another round of drinking sake with Arata earlier, his body was bound to react.

Well he _is_ not a particularly strong drinker, but he also wasn't prone to getting drunk easily, having been trained by his father the first few years of his high school it was almost funny and ironic, hadn't it been for his father's tendency to let his pride get the better of him.

"Shit."

This was why he had been wary of drinking earlier. Feeling a headache working it's way into his head, he decided he didn't want to push it for the rehearsal dinner.

And then he remembered that he had promised Chihaya to see her there.

Oh well. There were some things that he needed to take into consideration, and he knew he wasn't in the perfect shape for driving his ass there. It would probably be for the best as well, seeing as he knew that deep down, he was somehow scared at the prospect of facing Chihaya once again after THE confession. He wanted to give her some space, not preferring to overwhelm her.

_You are once again acting like a hundred-percent idiot, Mashima._

He mailed Kana-chan, apologizing and telling her that he wasn't exactly feeling well to show up for the rehearsal dinner. He got out a pitcher of cold water from the fridge and poured himself some of it, now feeling his headache more acutely.

_Sake and it's effects. Statistically proven to be causing hangovers from the Tokugawa era._

He grimaced to himself as he drained the water after three huge gulps. And then his phone beeped. Checking the mail, he was relieved to see Kana-chan's reply.

_Don't worry, buchou. We can take care of everything here. But I hope you feel better tomorrow… I would hate for you to suddenly go ill right with our wedding day. You better take care of yourself and feel better by tomorrow, okay? Or else I won't forgive you._

He cracked a smile. Ah, Kana-chan. She had always been the source of his support ever since high school. What would he do without her?

He was about to find out later on with an unpleasant surprise, not knowing that those people he called 'friends' had bigger things planned for him.

* * *

Chihaya bit her lip as she stood in front of the door to a unit very much familiar to her.

_What in Kami-sama's name am I doing here?_

She had this strange impulse to run. She couldn't understand why she was feeling as if a thousand mice were racing in her chest.

She was still wearing her white satin dress with a v-shaped neckline, the neckline still decent enough to stop inches above her chest. She had attended the rehearsal dinner, but almost three minutes after she came in, she was practically all but kicked out by the bride-to-be.

"_Buchou is not here!"_ Was the short phrase that she had been greeted with which had undoubtedly gotten her confused and somehow, worried all of a sudden as to why the former president had gone AWOL. _"He's terribly ill, Chi-chan! He was feeling so sick that he couldn't get up from bed, and he had thrown up his lunch from earlier!"_ Kana-chan had exclaimed in a panic.

She had blanched, all the color draining from her face and making her look even paler than ever. _"What!? What's wrong with him, why is he so sick?"_

"_I don't know! But he needs someone to take care of him, we don't want to have the best man missing tomorrow!" _Kana-chan had grasped her hands. _"I don't want to ask you to do this, Chi-chan, but please… you're my only hope now. Can you take care of him? He needs it. He can't be missing from the wedding tomorrow… and he's all alone there. Please, Chi-chan? Please?"_

Kana-chan was nearing tears that she had agreed before she could think about it further. Seeing Komano sigh in relief told her that she did the right thing, but…

As soon as the words left her mouth, an uncomfortable feeling started twisting in her stomach.

Something about this doesn't feel right.

But as she stood there in front if his condominium unit, she couldn't help but worry. What if Taichi was so sick that he hadn't eaten yet? He had thrown up his lunch. Did that mean that his stomach was rejecting anything he was trying to eat?

_Chihaya! You're making yourself panic even further!_

Whatever was happening to him, she had to find out. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why she hadn't even thought of calling him.

She stepped forward and raised a hand to ring the doorbell, but remembered that he was sick, and that according to Kana-chan, couldn't even get up from his bed.

_Why did I not even think of that before barging in here?_ Her mind panicked, as she stared in horror at the door. She thought of calling him now, but again… if he was sick…

Damn it. She was running out of options here. She glanced at the pass keys placed on the door, as if it was taunting her.

Chihaya knew his pass code, since she used to pester him during weekends to go practice with her before in Shiranami, but she wasn't sure if he had changed it already. He had given her his access code so that the security didn't have to call him up whenever she came to visit, so that she could come in as easily as she pleased.

She raised a hand and typed in the six-digits of his access code- his birthday.

The thing beeped once, -quite a long one, signaling the code is wrong. She bit her lip.

_Darn it, Taichi… why did you have to change your access code now?_

Seconds passed, and her heart was starting to race. Chihaya knew that if she didn't do something Taichi's condition might be getting worse. She knew of her friend's tendency to ignore what he was feeling, and they honestly can't have him getting sick right on the day of the wedding.

_Think, Chihaya, think… what were his favorite numbers?_

It was at times like this that she wished she could read minds.

And then as she stood there thinking –it suddenly hit her. She knew she was going to take a risk, but something told her she was correct.

She raised a hand and keyed in zero-six-zero-one-eight-eight.

The access keys flashed green and the door clicked slightly open, and she stared on in amazement, her mouth dropping open slightly in a small 'o'.

It was her birthday. His access code was her birthday.

And then remembering what she was supposed to do, she shook her head and pushed open the door and came in, only to find herself in a dimly lit unit. His unit was a lot spacious than hers, and she always felt amazed with the sheer size of it. But entering it after a year served to amaze her even more.

"… Taichi? You in there? It's me Chihaya." She called out tentatively, as she removed her heels and placed them on the shoe rack.

No response.

"Oi. You still alive or something?" She continued calling out in a somehow silent tone, unsure as to whether she really wanted to let him know that she had somehow gotten in his unit.

Still no response. She continued stepping inside, her footsteps laced with uncertainty. And then she almost had a heart attack when she reached the living room and saw the large, forty-inch television mounted on the wall still open and flashing a commercial as of the moment, and a figure laying on the couch.

In a split second she froze, and then she exclaimed "Taichi!"

She dropped her night purse anyhow on one of his couches and rushed to his side. Her hands hovered over him frantically, unsure as to what to do for an entire minute. She then placed her hand on his forehead and felt for his temperature but before she could even examine it thoroughly, his right hand suddenly snapped forward and grabbed her arm, and then…

The room spun and the next thing she knew, she found herself pinned on the couch with him on top of her, his legs pinning hers, his hands holding her arms in a tight grip above her head.

"Ow!" She exclaimed, feeling the pain shoot up her arm. That _wasn't_ gentle at all. "That hurt, you moron! What are you doing!?" She snarled, in half-grimace, half-anger.

Taichi froze when he managed to realize who it was that he had nearly crushed on the couch. "Chihaya? What on _earth _are you doing here?"

"Yes it's me, and I was visiting you, baka!" She snapped in irritation. "Who did you think I was? A robber or something?"

Taichi couldn't help but release out a snort. "Oh, I don't know. I don't just share my access code to anyone, you know, so no one could basically get in and you're not supposed to know it since I changed it." He snapped back as well.

At this, her mounting anger skidded to a halt. "I didn't know. I just guessed right."

A somehow awkward silence followed her explanation, as they stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten the intimate position they were currently tangled in the moment. His lips were once again inches away from hers, his nose nearly brushing hers –she could practically feel his breath mingling with hers.

Her breathing was starting to speed up with the way his eyes were gazing at her, and she knew that her mind was starting to malfunction once again.

"Uh… ouch?" She tried to divert his attention from her pointedly.

He unfroze. "Yeah… sorry." He released her arms, getting himself off of her and plopping to a seat beside her, but in reality there was actually a large gap between them.

Chihaya felt pain –which had nothing to do from earlier, - shoot somewhere near her chest at the distance between them as she straightened herself up slowly into a sitting position as well.

"So… what brings you here?" Taichi asked in a somewhat brooding tone, his eyes fixed on the television, unwilling to look at her. Chihaya gazed at him in frustration.

"I was visiting you, as I've already said earlier."

"Why are you visiting me then?" He was still not looking at her.

Chihaya suddenly felt so mad. What was the point of seeing him when he wouldn't even face her? "Kana-chan told me you were sick! She asked me to look after you since she was right –we can't have the best man going AWOL tomorrow!" She snapped, her irritation clearly showing in her voice.

His tone when he responded to her statement was calm and icy. "… I see. Well for your information lady, I wasn't sick. Feeling a bit under the weather yes, but nothing that big that you should be rushing here all panicky as if I was dying. I'm sure this will be gone by tomorrow."

Chihaya froze with his response, confusion starting to mar her beautiful features. "… But didn't you throw up your lunch…?"

This time he was forced to look at her, all of a sudden confused as well. "What? Where on earth did you hear that? I didn't throw up anything."

"They even told me you couldn't get up from the bed…"

"Who?"

"Kana-chan and Tsukue-kun."

Too late. He realized what it is that his friends did, the brilliant man that he was. He knew how to read between the lines after all.

He face-palmed, sighing in frustration and shaking his head. "We've been couple-trapped."

She stared at him confusedly, as if he was speaking in an alien tongue. "… What?"

"We've been trapped." Taichi repeated harshly, making her flinch he felt apologetic automatically. "I told them I won't be able to attend the dinner this time, since I wasn't feeling that well. They… They must have blown it out of proportion to get you to go here."

Chihaya understood what he was saying all of a sudden that her cheeks colored automatically. "What!? T-Those two!" She exclaimed in an embarrassed tone. "I'm going to strangle them!" She added in a hiss, her eyes narrowing into slits.

"I'm all for the strangling part, but you can't. We can't have you getting arrested for murdering two people whose wedding is to be held tomorrow." Taichi said in calm, almost teasing tone. "And it's partially your fault. You believed them."

"Well excuse me if I had been so worried!" She snarled in response, her temper flaring. "They told me you threw up your lunch –that you couldn't even get up from bed! What was I supposed to think then?" Her cheeks had gone so red as she said so, suddenly not liking the words coming out of her mouth. "And I know how you are –you have this tendency to ignore yourself and not admit that you're sick unless it came to the point that you could no longer eat. Is that wrong?" She muttered in a heated tone, glaring at him.

"No it's not." He murmured silently, and she was startled when he reached forward and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for the worry, but I would have to apologize. You wasted your time going here when you could have been with them now. I'm sorry they had to joke about this."

Chihaya suddenly felt worried even more as he hid his eyes beneath his bangs, not meeting her gaze. "You can go already. I'm fine, I'm not sick, I'll be present tomorrow. You can reassure Kana-chan regarding that."

"But-"

"Come on." He stood up and searched for his slippers, slipping them on with his foot when he found them. "I'll see you to the door."

She couldn't stop herself from blurting out all of a sudden, "Why are you so quick into kicking me out?"

He froze from stepping forward, his shoulder blades suddenly tensed up. "I wasn't kicking you out." He responded in a tone sounding quite the opposite without turning to face her once again.

"I sure feel welcome." She said in a sarcastic tone which could almost rival his that he resisted the urge to applaud her.

He finally turned to face her. "I was under the impression that you're here because you thought I _was_ sick. Well I'm not. So… you're free to go now."

"What if I want to stay here?" Chihaya couldn't understand why she was feeling that there was something _entirely_ wrong with the way Taichi was behaving towards her. "You haven't even asked me if I wanted anything!"

Taichi raised an eyebrow at her. "Well… do _you_ want anything then?"

Chihaya resisted the urge to slam her head into the nearest wall. Throwing caution into the wind, she blurted out, "Why are you avoiding me?" She demanded, finally standing up with her hands on her hips.

And then everything froze. Time seemed to slow down as Taichi stared at her hard, as if gauging her expression. She was frustrated, that much is clear from the way he was acting.

He couldn't be blamed. The earlier happiness he was feeling from her showing up all of a sudden in his unit had been burst open so unceremoniously that he felt the familiar pain kicking another whole open in his chest. She was here because she _thought_ he was sick, not because she wanted to see him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if his friends had been just trying to help, or whether they had just made the situation worse.

And then he mentally kicked himself. He had no right to think that, knowing that his friends had meant well. They knew how much he wanted her.

"You really want to know why?" He asked in a tone which made shivers run down her spine. His amber gaze was staring at her so unabashedly that made goose bumps appear on her arms for some unknown reason.

When she didn't answer, he took that as his cue. "Because I love you and I want you, and it's honestly not helping me that you're here all alone wearing that beautiful dress and tempting me without even knowing it." He added in a straight, no-holds-barred kind of voice, but she could feel the frustration behind it.

She felt herself grow warm hearing his response. Her fists clenched.

Taichi saw her reaction, and he turned away from her, starting to speak in a monotone. "And I don't want you filing a restraining order for me to the court, so if you know what's good for you, you'll-"

"So why aren't you doing anything?"

He froze, his retort from earlier cut off as he stared at her with an expression akin to someone who had seen their friend sprout out extra pairs of arms and legs.

"You tell me you love me, you tell me that you will court me, that you won't be taking a 'no' for an answer." She said in a somewhat exasperated tone. "Why aren't you doing anything then?" She challenged, her eyes narrowing by the second at him.

His expression grew extremely irritated. "You shouldn't be joking about things like that." He hissed darkly.

"I'm not joking." She muttered in a deathly serious voice. "You are a much bigger idiot than Arata if you think I'm joking."

He took a deep breath, his hands also curling into tight fists. "You don't know what you're asking-"

"I love you!"

The words hang in the air between them like an axe dropping out from nowhere.

Her fists were clenched, but she stood her ground.

What she had realized, after that talk with Kana-chan and Sumire-chan, was that she really was in love with this man all along. She didn't know how she had so foolishly thought that it was for Arata –because, she had been so spectacularly wrong in that department.

What Arata was telling her, that day that he had broken up with her, was that she had never in love with him to begin with. She had refused to accept it because deep down, even unconsciously, she knew that she had ignored Taichi for the better part of her life, and she isn't willing to admit to herself that the person who had always stood beside her was the one she needed all this time, seeing as she had foolishly pined for a different person for half of her life when all the time he had been just right in front of her.

Perhaps, even unconsciously, her pride had acted up, because she was afraid to admit that the person she had always taken for granted was the one she had truly needed by her side.

Arata had been right. She had spent her energy of dreaming so much to see him again one day, facing him and finally defeating him in the game she had given up, that she mistakenly thought of those feelings as love for more than a friend.

She had been afraid to admit it. And because she had been an airhead for Kami-sama knows how long, Taichi had paid the price for eighteen years.

Tears had started to form in her eyes, but she blinked them away furiously, willing herself to be resolute. "I love you, Taichi. So much, that it felt so wrong for me to admit it only now. But I could feel myself bursting in the seams, and I couldn't honestly know how I managed to ignore this for so long, but yes, I love you. Too. You may not want to believe it, and I understand if you won't, but please believe me when I say that I know what I'm talking about, and that I wasn't joking."

Chihaya was caught off-guard when she suddenly found herself crushed against him, his arms around her in a tight, protective embrace. And before she could get a word out, his lips found hers in a gentle kiss once again.

She felt her emotions soar up in elation; -she hadn't even realized how much she missed him kissing her, as cheeky as it sounded. She must have been so enthusiastic –she suddenly found herself wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his arms go around her waist and she pushed herself against him, pulling him even closer.

She felt his kiss turn passionate. He nibbled on her upper lip, then resumed broader strokes. She was quite helpless at the hands of this strong, sensual man who was lavishing her with his affection. All she wanted now was to let him do whatever he wanted with her.

Impatient to be inside her mouth, he traced his index finger down her spine, which was quite exposed with her dress, -and she gasped in reaction. He took the opportunity to slip inside, and gently and thoroughly, he used tongue and lips to arouse her until she was kissing him back with fervor. She was alternately rubbing the back of his head and petting his shirt as he excited her with his ardor.

Satisfied that she did want him, he pulled back abruptly before he let his self-control completely go. He wasn't planning to completely lose his senses, as much as his body was telling him the exact opposite.

Taichi lifted a hand and cradled her face gently, seeing her cheeks flushed with desire. "That, Ayase Chihaya," he began, straining to catch his breath, "was how you say I love you."

She was so red under his hand that he had to chuckle. "I-I'll keep that in mind." She replied, her dark eyes wide and earnest, also straining to catch her breath as they stared into each other's eyes.

But then, Taichi had to be sure. "You do realize there's no going back now, do you?" He asked in a serious tone, and she met his eyes firmly.

"I know who I can't live without, Taichi." She murmured in a quiet but resolute tone. "I'm sorry… that I took so long. So _painfully_ long."

And he had to laugh, as the tears formed in his honeyed eyes, feeling the rush running from the top of his head down to his toes, finally hearing her tell him that she loved him, not in dreams, but in reality. He didn't know if he must be the happiest man on earth right now.

"I forgive you. As long as you're sure." He said, but the tears had made it's way into his cheeks.

She was crying as well as she took him in an another embrace. "I've never been so sure in my entire life but this." She murmured, burying her face in his broad chest, thanking whoever God it is that may have been listening to them for this moment, for it being not too late to make things right.

And he silently agreed as he laid a kiss on the top of her head.

* * *

_**Yay~! They're together. Finally!**_

_**I seriously hoped you guys liked it. And again, you may let me know if you did. Appreciation in advance to all who would take their time to leave reviews.**_

_**Thanks, and see you in the next one, dear readers! :)**_


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